The Unconventional Romance Paradigm
by hazelra7
Summary: After the girls give Amy a hard time about Sheldon not being Romantic, Amy shocks them all by revealing why Sheldon Cooper is the most romantic of the entire Group. This is a story request from the Fan Forum by Kelli. I hope I do it justice. Shamy fluffy fun. Rating may change to M in later chapters, fair warning!
1. Chapter 1

**The Unconventional Romance Paradigm**

It was a long and harrowing journey for the tired but brave crew of four friends. Sheldon, Leonard, Howard and Raj had any spark of optimism and joy thoroughly stomped out as the approached the parking lot and saw their fate. Their arduous journey through hordes of soccer moms and endless lines was worse than fighting through the gates of Mordor. They suffered through the worst of all providences: A trip to the Burbank Costco on the weekend.

"Why did we agree to this?!" Howard did his best Sean Bean impression, "_There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this. It is folly_."

Sheldon rolled his eyes and shook his head contumely, "Okay _Boromir_. I am not taking advice from a guy who died in the first movie of the trilogy. We can do this! I have confidence in us! More importantly, I need red vines."

"If I have one person hit the back of my ankles with their carts, I am grabbing a leaf blowing and going Medieval on the lot of them!" Leonard needed an extra inhaler just to get through this shopping trip. It was Sheldon's bone-head idea to go to Costco on the weekend, he thought. He should be the one to brave the horde of shoppers.

"It's because you are too short. They can smell weakness, boys. We need to protect our flank. Raj, you guard our six, and watch out for Cub Scout den mothers looking to restock supplies. Avoid the guys with the flats of candy bars and soda, their seasoned warriors with nothing to lose. Anyone hits you, turn around and cuss at them in Hindi. I'll take point, and lead the charge." Sheldon eyed Howard up and down, "I expect some causalities, but you can't make an omelet without crackin' a few eggs. Oh we need eggs!"

"Hey Sheldon, I may be small, but I can weave in and out of this cart filled maze with ease. You stop at the end caps and I'll go in, stealth mode. Okay, Captain Costco?"

"Good idea, Wolowitz. Oh Leonard, no matter how much they beg, no samples! We don't need a repeat of Labor day weekend."

"How was I supposed to know there was dairy in those samples!?"

Raj rolled his eyes as he found a cart. Sheldon wiped it off his travel size bottle of Purell. Howard flashed his Card and they were in, "Because it was bacon wrapped cheese puffs, idiot!"

"But it had Bacon!"

Sheldon eyed Leonard with narrowed eyes, "I think we found our weakest link. Leonard, you man the cart. Any sign of fatigue, and we leave you behind. NO DISTRACTIONS! We get in and out! No extras! We need to make a bee line to the snack section. The girls expect us back within the hour! Let's not disappoint and get through this Sisyphean task!" All four men held the hand in a circle and chanted, "SNACKS! TONIGHT!"

Three hours later, the crew was schlepping up three poorly packed boxes up the four flights of stairs. Sheldon was carrying his latest purchase of red vines while the guys were hauling up three heavy boxes marked, "Johnson and Johnson" and their snack purchases.

"Sheldon! Why in the hell did we have to buy three cases of talcum powder? I mean, you don't have a baby, unless you count yourself!"

"It makes me smell nice and it was on sale. That's all you need to know." Sheldon had a red vine in his mouth continued unencumbered up the stairs while his friends carried his talcum powder.

"I can't believe you left me behind that woman's basketball team! I mean I was lost in a sea of giant Amazons! What happened to never leave a man behind?!"

"We sent you out as decoy, Howard. They were out for blood. You were voted as the sacrifice. Besides, those ladies thought you were cute!" Leonard was elated it wasn't him this time.

As they approached the door, they heard a familiar sound. The girls were arguing again like they did when the boys returned from the Bakersfield Comic Convention. This time however, instead of arguing about Thor, they seemed to be arguing about their significant others. Sheldon was just about to open the door, when Howard pulled him back after Howard heard his name mentioned.

"_Shh, let's listen for a while_…"

Behind the door, the ladies were all settled in with their wine and bridal magazines. They had been waiting for a long time for the guys to return from Costco.

"I knew we shouldn't have let them go. I mean Costco on the weekend? Howie gets lost in there. I have to pull him away from the electronics with a promise of a hot dog!"

Penny laughed, "Me too! I lost Leonard in there one time for 4 hours! I found him curled up in a ball in the condiments section. Only after we got a berry smoothie did he quit twitching."

"Sheldon always likes to go during the week. I've spent many a date night pushing around a cart filled with toilet paper, toothpaste and mixed nuts containers that would supply the Russian army." Amy had been nursing her first glass of wine, but it had been a long night and she was ready for another. The group was supposed to watch the new Stephen Hawking movie. It had been planned for weeks but at the last-minute, someone opened their big mouth and told Sheldon is was a romantic movie. Instead of fighting Sheldon for hours and ruining the night, Howard downloaded a bit torrent of it and they were supposed to preview it. However, that was 3 hours ago and the guys were nowhere to be found.

"Boy, Sheldon sure knows how to romance the pants off you, Amy! Costco date nights? Even I am not that cruel to Raj, who, by the way, is the most romantic person in the bunch of these guys!" Emily sat back and glared at Penny while swirling her white wine. Penny shot her back a searing look.

"Excuse me, but Leonard is the most romantic of the bunch! He is a romance Ninja." Penny and Emily had been icy to each other all night. It was another reason Amy and Bernie watched the door waiting patiently for their significant others to return; if only to have a distraction from the impending cat fight that they were was going to happen.

All three guys were listening from the other side of the door. As soon as Leonard heard 'romance ninja' his smug smile caused the rest of the guys to roll their eyes. Sheldon sat back, ignoring the conversation as best he could while he got another red vine and sat on the box of Talcum powder used now as make-shift chair. His Vulcan hearing allowed him to hear the entire conversation and at this point, but he was bored to death. The rest of the guys listened intensely:

"HA! I don't think so Penny! It's Howard! I mean come on, you were there when I was in the hospital and Howie brought in his keyboard. A song? He wrote a fricken song for me! Top that, sweetie!"

Penny threw her head back with a snort, "Leonard brought me a snow flake from the North pole! So there, Cinderella!"

Emily did not want to be undone, "Raj makes me dinner every night and the theme matches the songs he picks. Last night he made me spaghetti while we watched Lady and the Tramp. I won't say afterwards who the lady was and who the tramp was." Emily raised her eyes brow suggestively, but Penny was unimpressed as was Bernadette.

"Believe me, he did that before you came along. He and Howie had a standing date night before we got married. He's just using his Howie playbook on you!" Bernie looked at Penny with a slight wink. Penny got another bottle of wine so Emily couldn't see her snicker.

"Snow flake beats dinner, Emily. Sorry." Penny was anything but sorry.

"What about romantic astronomy?" Emily had Penny there. Even Penny found it hard to resist Raj's love filled astronomical charms.

Bernie did not want to be undone. "I have Star necklace from space!"

Penny snapped back, "Leonard bought me a car!"

"Howie moved out of his mother's house for me!"

"Leonard is moving out of Sheldon's apartment for me!" Penny playfully stuck her tongue out.

"Raj's paid for a string quartet to play my favorite Carcass song while we dined on pig entrails!"

"That's not romantic, that's gross!"

"Well, I thought it was perfect! Also, I'll have you know, Raj has named four new Karma Sutra positions after me!" Emily stretched her back just remembering three of them.

Penny pulled the cork out like a pro and poured and extra large glass, "Leonard fought off my ex-boyfriend for me! I found out he stood up to my beefy ex and got the money he owed me!"

"So what! Howie stood up to my dad, and he had a gun!"

"Leonard is romance ninja!"

"Sorry Raj is a romance king!"

"Nope, Howie!"

But the next statement cause them all to forget what they were saying and roar out in laughter.

"Well, you're all wrong! Sheldon is most romantic!"

All three girls started screaming with laugher. On the other side of the door, Raj, Howard and Leonard just looked at Sheldon who had a red vine in his mouth and a gob smacked expression. The licorice slumped down as Sheldon moved closer to the laughter. All four men had the side of their face plastered to the metal apartment door. Raj whispered, "_Why on earth would Amy think you are romantic, let alone the most?"_

"_Shh, I have no idea!" _Sheldon pressed his ear against the door.

After the hilarity died down, Sheldon did not see his girlfriend's face tighten up in cold steel resolve or the slight tear at the side of her eye as the girls continued to point and laugh at her.

"Oh Amy, you are so cut off. Sheldon romantic? No more wine for you! We can't take your antics." Penny stole Amy's wine glass and downed the rest of her drink. Amy bit her quivering lip and glared at her.

Bernie was on the floor, still holding her belly, "Sheldon? Sheldon romantic? That guy wouldn't know romance if he was covered in hearts and drunk on chocolate wine."

Even Emily was still laughing, "I haven't know that guy for long, but romance, that's not his thing, girl."

"Yeah! I mean, aren't we NOT seeing the movie, because Sheldon didn't want to…Let me think, what did he say?" Penny looked at Bernie to remember the mocking that Sheldon gave the group almost 4 hours ago.

"_We aren't going to some hippy dippy love fest that takes the giant of Science and reduce his accomplishments to some dime store trashy romance novel_." Buzz kill! Howie really wants to see that movie!"

Amy was still quiet, waiting for all her friends to stop mocking her. "Ladies. Just because Sheldon doesn't do traditional romance, doesn't mean it doesn't count."

"Kinda does, Amy. Sorry." Bernie tapped Amy's knee, but she pulled away from her friend's condescending touch.

"Yeah, I mean this is the same guy who almost ruin your Valentine's day with some random train guy. What was his name, Edwin… Earl…"

"Eric. And Sheldon more than made up for that. I should have been honest with him from the start and let him enjoy his train trip." Amy grabbed her wine glass back from Penny and poured herself a glass. "Sheldon does romance on his terms. And let me tell you, when he does, its heart stopping, toe curling, and breathtakingly poignant. I have never felt more loved than I do with that man. I never will again. He is not a romance ninja or king. He is a romance god!" Amy raised her glass and then took a large swallow.

"**This** I got to hear!"

From the other side of the door, the guys whispered the same thing to Sheldon, _"Me too! Romance god? What the hell have you been doing with Amy, Sheldon?"_

"_Shh! I want to hear!"_ Sheldon pressed his face against the door to hear every syllable coming from his girlfriend. He didn't know what she was going to say; no one did.

Amy stood up and weaved her fingers together. She flexed out her hand and the room echoed with the cracked knuckles, "Well, ladies, strap in and wait for the crap storm of romance coming your way!"

Penny sat up, "Hey! That's my line!"

Amy pushed her glasses up on her face and glared at Penny, "Not anymore, sister."

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><p><strong>AN This story is by request and it is an idea from the Forum from Kelli. She wanted a story titled The unconventional romance paradigm" Here is her posting:**

I want it to include all of Sheldon's romantic accomplishments ( maybe as a flashback) including:  
>1. the cuddle session<br>2. his judo chop on Leonard for trying to steal his girl  
>3. the interruption of Amy &amp; Stuarts date 'cause he <strong>just couldn't wait any longer to make her ALL his!<strong>  
>4. buying her a tiara because he thinks she truly is <strong>HIS<strong> princess  
>5. for that beautifully chosen and recited line from Spiderman<br>6. for making her so important that he claims her as his 'go to' person in emergencies ( also willing to shell out $2000 for a gift? wow!)  
>7. for taking extra special care of her when she was sick<br>8. ready to fight Will for his 'woman'  
>9. D&amp;D LOVE SPELL!( hot and kinda romantic too, erotic even)<br>10. for that_**magnificent**_ kiss on the train- which is possibly the most romantic kiss ever ( for a couple that has never engaged in such activities)  
>11. for taking a test that validates that <strong>HE <strong>is happy ( but reflects it on Amy being happy as well)

plus any other fluff you might want to add to enhance each of these situations  
>( all the off screen kisses we have missed and the off screen dates he has had to make up)<p>

**Kelli, thy will be done! I hope I do it justice. This will be a short multi-chapter piece. But you all know when I say short, it's a relative term!**

**Hope you like it!**


	2. Chapter 2

**The Unconventional Romance Paradigm 2**

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><p>"This is such crap, Amy! You've told all of us time and time again how you want more from Sheldon, how he is the worst boyfriend ever, how you wish he would jump your bones, blah blah blah… Now, you're saying he's the best? Are you sure you're not drunk?" Penny hiccuped, "I know I am!" Penny perched on the arm of the beige chair while trying to focus on her cadre of cackling hens.<p>

Amy carefully folded her hands on her lap and drew in a long breath to voice her arguments, "First of all, I have ALWAYS said Sheldon was not only the first boyfriend, but the BEST boyfriend. Have I not, Penny?"

"Yep, and we all wanted to send you in for a brain scan, but yeah, you have said Sheldon is the best boyfriend." Penny shook her head in disbelief but she had to admit Amy was right; well she thought, at least diluted.

Bernie clucked in, "I think you just don't know any better. You have no comparison."

Penny came to Amy's defense, "This coming from the woman who willingly married Howard Wolowitz?" Penny refocused on Amy, "Look, honey, you have complained a lot about his antics. He hasn't been the most attentive. And he has screwed up pretty bad over the last few years, agreed? You've said so yourself!"

Amy swiveled her eyes, and continued, "Look, I know what I said, but I have thought long and hard about what has happened between Sheldon and I and it merits a new perspective. Romance is the expression of love for someone, do you agree?"

"Yeah, showing the person you love them. But we all know that Sheldon doesn't do love stuff." Penny quickly added, "But he does screw up pretty bad. He had to buy you that tiara…"

Emily had not heard the tiara story, "Woah… HE BOUGHT YOU A TIARA? Like a real one?"

Amy was about to answer Emily, but Penny cut her off, "Yes! It costs a fortune! I told him it was too much, but he said she had to have it. Something about being a princess." Penny whispered to Emily, "It costs like…" Amy couldn't hear the amount, but she didn't want to hear it. She loved it no matter the cost.

Emily spit out her wine, "Shut the front door! He spent that much on her?!"

"Money is not the issue!" Amy shouted, but she was drowned out by Emily's whistles.

"Well, it is when he is throwing down that kinda cash. I mean, you weren't even dating for that long! He had it bad even then, Ames."

"Damn, and I thought Raj was rich."

"That's nothing! He gave Alex $2000 bucks to buy his Valentine's gift for her!" Bernie looked around at the open mouth expressions."Howie told me after Sheldon's assistant Alex ran into him in the hall at Cal-Tech. Sheldon plopped down like 2 grand and told Alex to get Amy a present."

Penny and Emily were gob smacked, but Amy was most shocked, "He didn't give me a present worth that much. Besides, Sheldon hates presents."

"Well, he intended to spend a ton on you but I don't know what he got you for that Valentines. Hold on to it, whatever it was, and check Ebay."

"He gave me the most beautiful gift for a first Valentines." Amy let out a huge sigh and looked like she was sprinkled in love dust.

"What? How do you top an $8500 dollar tiara?!" Emily put her hand to her mouth and mouthed to Penny, "Sorry, I'm bad with secrets."

Penny growled at Emily, "Good to know…" She glared at Emily with a death stare that could freeze lava.

On the other side of the door, the three guys looked at Sheldon and mouthed together, _8500 bucks_? Sheldon just shrugged his shoulders and whispered, "_It screamed Amy, what can I tell ya_?_ Besides, I didn't want to be in trouble anymore._"

Back in the apartment, Penny wanted to side step her mistake of telling Emily anything, " Anyway! Amy, what did he get you?"

Amy almost jumped out her seat, "He made me his personal contact on his employee form at work!"

All three women looked at each other, "What!?"

"I know, right! What a first time Valentines! I mean, how do you top that?!"

Bernie lowered her tone, "By reaching up two inches. It is easy to top that! Are you serious? How lame is that!?"

"No, no think about it! Sheldon made _me_ the person who he calls when he is in trouble. He values me above anyone else when he is in a crisis. It shows trust. You know how hard it is for Sheldon to trust anyone? And he trusts me! It was huge. I still get goose bumps about it. What a guy." Amy dreamy grin could not be squashed by her skeptical friends who just looked at each other in confusion.

"Yeah, he's a saint. How can you breathe with him smothering you like that, Amy!?" Bernadette's sarcasm wasn't lost on Amy.

"I call it love, Bernadette. For the last few years I have been viewing our relationship through the lens of other people's expectations." Amy looked around at the unimpressed troop of ladies listening to her rant. "No longer. Sheldon is perfect for me and I am for him. He is the most romantic, caring, thoughtful soul I know and I am proud to be his girlfriend."

"You better be able to back that up sister. With facts, not just some goofy eyed pipe dream you cooked up when you hit Penny's low rent hooch." Bernie looked down at her wine glass with a scrunched up expression. She picked a piece of cork out of the liquid.

"Hey! It's not low rent! That bottle cost over 6 dollars!"

"Exactly. I think there is cork in it."

Penny shook her head, "Impossible, it's a screw top! Anyway Amy, go on. I got to hear how senor whack a doodle is romantic. This is rich."

"At least something is…" Bernadette put down her wine.

Amy put her wine down, and continued, "Okay, here's a good example. Even before we were dating, Sheldon was considering my needs above his own."

"Ha! There is no way Sheldon Cooper thinks of anyone before himself!"

Amy continued, ignoring Bernadette's jab at Sheldon, "When I was upset over the bridesmaid's dress shopping thing, he came to my apartment and sat with me. He spent all night with me holding me in his arms. This coming from a guy who doesn't like anyone touching him! Think about kind of guy he was back then, and then imagine him doing that! He did that for me!"

Emily was so confused, "What dress thing?"

Penny looked down at her wine, as did Bernadette, "It was nothing, before your time."

"Doesn't seem like nothing if Sheldon had to hold her all night." Emily knew something was up by the way Penny was ignoring the subject and suspected that Penny and Bernadette didn't invite Amy dress shopping. Anything that made Penny uncomfortable, Emily wanted to know about it.

Bernadette didn't think to censor her remarks, "Yeah, Sheldon even yelled at the guys about it. He was pretty upset and defended you to them. But he also said he was no one's snuggle bunny!"

Emily raised her voice, "What happened?"

"Nothing, Amy was upset over dress shopping and we worked it out. Sheldon went over to her apartment and snuggled with her." Penny tried to change the subject, "Amy, you had to beg him to do that!"

"Yes, but that he even considered it is a huge step. He is not like you or I. Let me see if I can put it in perspective: Think about the one thing you hate. It makes your skin crawl and you have avoided all your life."

The women all listed off their phobias at the same time:

"Bugs. Lots of bugs."

"Polyester pant suits and granny panties" Penny looked around, "What? I hate them!"

"Pink Flowers and rainbows." Emily looked at the group who had eyed her with disdain, "What?! She can hate polyester clothes but I can't hate flowers?!"

Amy ignored the infighting, "Now, imagine the only thing that will make your friend happy is if you had to wear a rainbow polyester pant suit with a pink flower while eating a bug." Amy looked over her friend's disgusted faces and smiled, "See!? That is what Sheldon did for me! You don't have sympathy because you don't share his aversion to touch. But if you did, you would see what a herculean task it was for him to cuddle with me that night. He steps out of his comfort zone for me all the time. Do you guys do that for your men? Do they do that for you?"

The group of girls looked at each other, "Well, yes, sometimes. But Amy that was just one cuddle session. He's avoided touching you since then, even though he knows you want it!"

Penny sat up and loudly added, "Yeah, I've touched Sheldon more that you have! He has even seen me naked!"

All three women glared at Penny. Emily sneered at her, "Way to make Amy feel better, Penny!"

Amy waved her hand uninterested, "I know all about it. I have to say, I don't know why he touches you more than me. All I can think is that he has known you longer. But still, he **willingly** goes out of his comfort zone for me all the time. Not just because of a crisis or lack of adhesive ducks." Amy looked at Penny over her glasses.

"Honey, you and I have kissed more that you and Sheldon!" Penny smiled at Amy who was blushing.

"This I HAVE to hear about! More wine! Make it red this time!"

The guys from the other side of door wanted to hear as well. _"You saw Penny naked, Sheldon? I want details about that body!" Howard was wringing his hands together and Raj nodded in unison. _

"_Hey! That's my fiancé!"_

"_Oh, please, get over it. I think the question is Leonard, who hasn't seen her naked. I mean she has a nude scene in a movie! Now hush! I want to hear what Amy is saying!"_

"_Yeah, I want to hear about Amy kissing Penny!"_

Amy was in the middle of telling Emily about the night the girls all went to the bar. They had cranberry martinis and dragged Sheldon dancing after some canoddling, "He danced with me and only me! And when I was drunk he took me home and walked me to the door. AND to top it off, I kissed him and he didn't freak out. I think… I really don't remember, unfortunately."

"Then how do you know you kissed him?"

"He told me. See that's the thing about Sheldon. He could have avoided the whole thing, ignored it. I didn't remember anything away. When I asked him what happened that night, he told me everything. Not only does he step out of his comfort zone for me, he doesn't lie to me. I wish I could say the same about me." Amy looked away, but Bernie knew what she was talking about.

"That's right, you had to lie about being sick just so he would take care of you!"

Amy sat up straighter knowing she found a new point to drive her argument home, "That's right! He took care of me for almost a week! He rubbed my chest with vapo-rub, gave me a bath, put me bed, and read to me. I was sick frequently when I was a little kid. My mother never took care of me. I had to get myself to school and fix my own meals. She thought being sick was a sign of weakness and unless I was coughing up a lung, I got nothing. Sheldon took better care of me than I had ever had in my life."

"But Amy, that's because he HAD to because of that relationship contract."

"What contract?"

"They have a relationship agreement. He made her sign it the first time he asked her to be his girlfriend. She was on a date with Stuart."

"Wait, Howard's cousin's date, Stuart? Damn that guy gets around!

"I know! For a guy who is supposedly lonely, he has dated more than all the other guys. Must be that sour countenance thing Amy talked about. Anyway, that night, Sheldon burst in to the movie and …"

Amy cut Penny off and finished the story, "He didn't burst in! He joined us briefly and then left. He did meet me later at my apartment, though. I still don't know how he got in my place that night. But just think about that for a second. Sheldon Cooper asked someone to be his girlfriend! And it was me! I mean, talk about being swept off your feet. He interrupted a date to make sure I was his and his alone. That takes guts."

Emily added quickly, "Or pathological jealousy bordering on a personality disorder."

Amy shot back, "Let's go with romantic!"

Bernie nodded her head, "Yeah, it does actually. I mean, he no only had to figure out he wanted a girlfriend, but then track you down to break up your date. Then he waited at your apartment."

"Sounds kinda stalkeresque… Like scary stalker dude, if you ask me."

"Well, I thought it was romantic as is the relationship agreement. Now that I think about it, how the heck did he get that thing written so fast? I mean it has like over 30 pages! He must type like the wind!"

"_Or you had it written before hand, right Sheldon_?" Leonard whispered to Sheldon who hushed him and continued to listen. The guys settled in on the three boxes of talcum powder. The snacks had long since been opened and the guys had been snacking and listening like they were tuned to the Sheldon and Amy radio show. Howard looked at Leonard with a questioning face about the relationship agreement. Leonard whispered to him, "_Sheldon was working on that thing night and day after Stuart came along, he just never got around to it before because he was afraid._"

Sheldon whispered, "_I wasn't afraid! It's just that we didn't need it till Stuart got all dreamy eyed over pumpkin lattes. I knew he would get handsy with her. I mean I saw him hugging her! It was just a matter of time before he was going to be kissing on her like he did with Penny! Thank god I stopped that horn dog's before he tried something with my woman, now SHHH!"_

Sheldon pressed his head against the door to hear every word his girlfriend said. He had never heard anyone defend him the way she was. He was mortified that she was revealing all their secrets, but beaming with pride at every defense. Amy was relentless. She deciphered all his actions into his unintended meaning, and in some cases, better than he knew himself. He didn't know if he should swing open the door and stop the debate, or listen in like he was watching an interrogation behind a mirrored wall; a mere observer of his own love life being judged by those who could never understand him. Amy and he never discussed the topics bantered behind the metal door. He couldn't help but hang on every word like the words were the cipher for a code he could never break on his own.

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><p><strong>AN: I'm not saying writing dialog for eight people split behind a door is easy... No buts. I'm not saying that at all. It really isn't easy! I hope this was clear. It was a quite a challenge writing this and making sure you guys knew who was talking. I hope I did it justice. We will see. The next chapter will continue this dialog. If you had trouble. tell me, so i can edit the next chapter differently. I could put the guys dialog in BOLD so you know it them. I love the feed back, but you knew that, you clever minxes! I hope if you like this, you can give me a shout. If you hate it, give me shout too. If you are like, meh... then tell me that too. I think you getting what I am saying. Hope you like it. **

**I want to thank Shamy4evr for helping me with my edits and grammar. She has been great and I need the help. Thanks so much for the time and effort, friend!**


	3. Chapter 3

**The Unconventional Romance Paradigm 3**

Back inside the apartment, the girls were still hearing how romantic the Sheldon and Amy relationship agreement was, but none of them agreed. Yet...

Amy was beaming with pride, "…I mean we have clause for everything. It is the most romantic document I have ever seen."

"I'm sorry, Amy, I just can't see it."

Amy glared at the gaggle of girls, "Well, whether you see it or not is irrelevant. I can't see subatomic particles, but nevertheless, they're there."

On the other side of the door, Sheldon bloomed a wide smile across his face. He glanced over to Leonard and whispered, "_That's my girl._" It was Sheldon's turn to beam with pride.

Amy continued her defense of the document. "It's codification of our love and commitment to each other. It states in black and while how will treat each other and it can be negotiated anytime. It really is thorough and settles a lot of arguments before they start."

Bernie looked down and snorted, "Maybe I should get one of those, huh?"

Amy smiled, "Well, it's takes a lot of thought and time to craft one. Just think about the amount of time he put in that document and it was all for me!"

Emily looked over to Bernadette, "It is pretty cool he committed to her so quickly. I mean I have dated guys for years and they bolt at the first sign of trouble."

Bernadette had to agree, "Yeah, I mean even Howie freaked out when we first got together. Sheldon just signed up with Amy right away. I bet he was thinking about it for months."

The girls were starving and drinking on empty stomachs mean that the few glasses of wine they had were quickly hitting their heads. Especially Penny who was having fun remembering Sheldon's antics that night. "I remember that time so well. Sheldon came to see me; asking advice about you that time. He had a BIG problem with you dating Stuart. He wanted you bad, Amy. Even asked me on a date to make you jealous."

Amy laughed, "That wouldn't have worked."

"Why not? You wouldn't have been jealous if I was out with Sheldon? I know you get jealous, Amy. You went crazy over Alex and marked your territory in Sheldon's office over her!"

"That was different. I didn't know her. I wouldn't have been jealous over you and Sheldon on a date. The idea is so ridiculous I would have saw through it."

"Yeah, it's pretty ridiculous to think of Sheldon and I on a date." Penny raised her glass to Amy, "Hey, but we dated the same man!"

Amy raised her glass as well, "Twice!"

"Okay, I'm lost!" Emily filled her wine glass again and handed the bottle to Bernadette. "I'm lost too. What are you two talking about?"

"We both dated Stuart and Leonard and I went on a wedding date together." Amy flipped her hair off her shoulders and smirked, "Leonard had the hots for me, but I had to crush his dreams. Poor Leonard."

On the other side of the door Sheldon glared at Leonard with fiery rage. Leonard just shook his head and covered his neck to protect from any arrant Karate chops coming his way.

Penny laughed at Amy, "He didn't have the _hots_ for you, Amy. Just because Sheldon had to karate chop him, doesn't mean…"

Now is was Amy's turn to be lost, "What do you mean?"

"Leonard said Sheldon misunderstood him when he said he had hurt his groin with you. He freaked out and karate chopped him on the neck and told him, "She's not for you!" Then, like a week later or something, you were dating Stuart and Sheldon went Bat Crap crazy. He was stalking you and Stuart on Facebook. Then you got that ridiculous contract of his. He tries to control you with it, and keep you at arm's length, Amy."

"First off, I use the agreement too. Hello, make up dates? It's binding and he had to agree. Even if he doesn't like it, he does it. That's called compromise ladies and I know married couples who can't do it after 50 years. That contract shows his commitment to me and our future together. Sheldon outlined all his expectations of our relationship and fulfills them all. He made a promise to me, and he honors it. It shows he respects me. "

Bernadette lowered her tone to a scary octave, "If he respects you so much, how come he didn't call you when he took off riding the rail like a hobo for over a month without so much a frickin phone call when he got back, ay Amy? He called Leonard, not you."

Penny almost dropped her wine at how brazen Bernadette was with Amy, but Amy was right back in her face, and never backed down, "_Because_ he respected was exactly why he didn't call me. He didn't want me to think less of him because he failed. Because he respects me, he wanted me to do the same for him. It's like that time when you got your song. Sheldon was upset over his mistake in finding the heavy element. Remember that?"

"Yeah, I was in the hospital, but I remember him botching that discovery. He really screwed the pooch on that one."

"Yes, well, I was the only one who told him that I wasn't proud of him. I didn't sugar coat it, and I didn't give him false hope; I told him the truth. And you know why? Because I respected him enough to do so. That's why he said it was one of the most romantic things he had ever heard. He said that to me. We are honest with each other, even when we know it will hurt. He doesn't want to see disappointment in my eyes. That's why he didn't call. Get it now?"

"I do, Amy… I do…" Bernie headed to kitchen to roam for snacks but she couldn't reach the cereal. Penny came over and grabbed the box and handed to her short friend. Bernie ripped the bag of corn Chex open and started to shovel it in. Penny sat on the edge of the beige chair again while she recounted the first anniversary of Sheldon and Amy, "How does he respect you if he had Raj come on your first anniversary date through some loop hole? Amy, you told me all about it. You were upset."

"I was and I called him on it. I am no door mat for Sheldon Cooper, let me tell ya, ladies. However, later I thought about it, and he was being a good friend to Raj. That's pretty nice of Sheldon, actually. Also, he said the most romantic thing to me that night. I still can see him holding out his hand, asking me to sit so he could tell me. I was so angry, but I was willing to hear him out. He lowered his voice and leaned his arm across the table in front of him. He looked me in the eye the whole time. It was like time stopped and it was just us in that moment."

Emily whispered, "What did he say?"

"He said, when he looks at me when he looks in my eyes and I'm looking back in his, everything feels not quite normal. He said, he feels stronger and weaker at the same time. He feels excited and, at the same time, terrified. He said, "The truth is, I don't know what I feel, except I know what kind of man I want to be".

Emily held her breath, "Oh man, that's beautiful, Amy!"

"Yeah, it sounded even better when Toby McGuire said it in Spiderman." Bernadette sucked in her teeth and looked at Amy challenging her to admit she was wrong. Amy had no such intention.

"It may have been a quote, but what a quote to say! I mean of all the things he could have said, he chose that one. He has an eidetic memory for Pete sake, he could have said anything from Shakespeare to Jane Austen, but he picked that one. It meant something to him. "

"It's so Sheldon too. He probably had that line waiting for the right moment to tell you, if I know him."

Amy sighed, still feeling the warmth of his words blanket over her like a quilt, "I wish I knew. I won't ask him though. It would make him uncomfortable."

On the other side of door, the guys all looked at Sheldon for an answer. Sheldon licked his mouth and bit his lower lip as he shrugged his shoulders in agreement. Leonard put his hand on his shoulder and whispered, "_Nice save, Sheldon_."

Raj sniffed, "_God, I wish I had stayed and heard that, Sheldon. That was beautiful man_…" Howard sniffled and wiped a tear off Raj's cheek.

Back in the apartment, Amy wasn't done with her rant. "Let's review: He puts my needs above his own, even to great discomfort on his part. He respects me enough to enter a contract with me which he must have prepared even before we start dating. He doesn't lie to me, even when it would help him. He fought Leonard over me…"

Emily held up her wine glass to salute Amy, "Don't forget about the 8500 dollar hair piece!"

Penny rolled her eyes and added, "Or the fighting with Wil Wheaton!"

"Wait, what about Wil Wheaton?" Emily head started to spin, "You guys know Wil Wheaton?"

"Yeah, he and I were in a movie together. He used to be Sheldon's mortal enemy or some such silly thing. Now, they're best buddies. One night, Sheldon came in the bar, all upset over Amy and their flag show thing."

"It's called Fun with Flags. A popular internet show and Wil Wheaton can't act. End of story." Amy scrunched her face again.

"You and I have very different definitions of popular; Amy! Anyway, Sheldon was worried he was going to lose you. I said, don't Texans defend their women?" Penny looked at her glass and sheepishly added to the confession, "I may or may not have given him some Long Island tea…"

"Penny! You know he can't handle alcohol!"

"Well, he handled it just fine! Of course, we had to pick him up at Wil Wheaton's house later. He was there to fight him for you."

"Oh man, that is so sweet!"

"Kinda violent. I like it! Go Sheldon! I guess that trumps Leonard fighting your ex for money he owed you, huh Penny?" Emily loved sticking it to Penny.

"Not quite, Emily! Wil Wheaton is wimp. My ex is a beast. No comparison."

"Except Sheldon gets faint at the sight of blood." Amy added, "If he had fought Wil Wheaton for me, he would have passed out in a minute… Wow, I never knew… No wonder we only use Levar Burton now for Fun with Flags."

"What's with Levar…"

Bernadette cut off Emily, "Don't ask." Bernie sat next to Amy on the couch and grabbed the wine bottle for a refill. "Look Amy, Sheldon may be fighting guys off for you, but he still is a lousy boyfriend. I mean, I saw your face on that train. You were crushed that he ignored you. You told me you wanted a normal boyfriend. You wanted romance! You got nothing!"

"I got a kiss!" Amy was beaming but Bernadette quickly shot her down.

"So what! One kiss doesn't mean he wants you. He just did it to shut you up. He doesn't want you sexually, Amy! He never will."

Penny, Emily and Amy looked at Bernadette to see if she grew another head, "Damn, Bernie, that's mean."

Amy looked over to Bernadette, "Oh I know exactly what you think. I think you said, "_You are jealous about anyone wanting to express their sexuality because no one wants to you to express yours_." Amy took a big swig of her wine and looked over at her Bestie whose mouth had formed a perfect O.

"She said that to you?! That's harsh." Amy never forgot what Bernie had said to her concerning the magazine article. All the women looked at Bernadette for an explanation of her belittling comments. Bernadette looked around like a wounded animal backed in a corner. "Well, it's true. I am just the only one who has the guts to say it."

On the other side of the door, the guys looked at Sheldon who looked down at his feet to ignore Bernadette's slam. His hands were balled up in fists making his knuckles white. He pressed his face against the door to hear the rest:

"He's leading her on, and will never find her sexually desirable. I don't know why you insist on waiting around for him. Amy, he will never have sex with you."

Amy bit her bottom lip and looked at Bernie with icy green eyes. "Maybe not, Bernadette, but it doesn't matter anymore."

"You said that to her, Bernie?" Penny looked away, "Damn… that's what we were talking about at the corporate mixer. You need to try and be nicer to people, Bernie. Don't tell Amy Sheldon will never have sex with her! It's just mean!"

Bernadette's only defender was Amy herself, "Yes, but unfortunately, it's also true. I know that Sheldon is not interested in sex. It's hard not to take it personally that he is completely uninterested, but I understand him. We are more alike than you know. I also know he loves me. It'll be enough."

"Well, first off, honey, being sexually attractive is not it's all it's cracked up to be, believe me." Penny shook her head as she recalled the frequent times she had to force off unwanted advances. "You never know if they want you for anything other than your body." Penny looked down at her glass, "Quite often, you don't find out until the roll off of you."

Emily looked at Penny and shook her head, "She's right. It's awful, honey. I'm sorry."

"Penny, I know you are trying to help, but honestly, I have never had anyone, in my entire life show any sexual interest in me what so ever. Do you have any idea what that's like? I learned to focus my energy on my mind and push it all away, but at times, I just wish." Amy looked down at her half a glass of wine. As she swirled the liquid, she knew Penny could never understand. Actually, no one could. She needed to be happy with what she had. She drew in a quick breath and sat up straight, "This is silly. I love Sheldon, and he loves me. It will be enough."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I can't imagine him with anyone but you. He may not want you physically, Amy, but he wants everything else. It's not you, honey. It's him." Penny took a large gulp and cried out, "Oh, wait! That's not true Amy!"

"What isn't?"

"You have had someone interested in you! Bert! And Stuart! Both those guys would have given you a tumble for sure. I know you wouldn't, but still…"

"Bert from Geology was a non-starter as was Stuart. Raj and Howard took care of Bert for me. Besides, ladies, how could I possible be interested in any other man after I have been with Sheldon Cooper? Really?"

On the other side of door, Sheldon turned around with blazing eyes of blue flames at Raj and Howard. Sheldon mouthed the word, "_BERT?! THE ROCK MONKEY!_?" They both took a large gulp and pleaded with Leonard to save them from Sheldon's wrath. They whispered, "_We saved her from him! We told him she was lesbian_."

"_Why would you have to tell him she is a lesbian? She has a boyfriend!"_

"_Yeah, he didn't believe that… like at all, like not even a little bit." Raj took a deep swallow as he saw Sheldon's eyes dart back and forth in a frenzy, "Sheldon, you should be thanking us_."

Sheldon seethed out a whisper, "_I will deal with you two later. Two strikes… EACH!_"

Back in the apartment, Bernie took a deep breath and raised her voice back to her sweet high pitch tone ,"Amy, look…I'm sorry about what I said. I shouldn't have said it. There is no denying that the man loves you. I saw him at Christmas, Amy. He is nuts over you."

Amy drew in a large deep breath, "I know. He told me he loved me at Prom. He had freaked out before we went up there. He was worried he was going to HAVE to have coitus with me. I told him, not to worry. No pressure. He was thankful for my understanding."

"He should be... No other woman would, Amy. You know that, right? I wonder if he does.""

Emily added quickly, "Yeah, really. Penny's right. I wonder if he realizes just how damn lucky he is to have you."

On the other side of the door, Sheldon took a deep breath and swallowed down a terrible taste that had formed in his mouth. Leonard put his hand on Sheldon's shoulder and tapped it gently. Sheldon turned around and gave him a slight side smile with a hint of sadness.

Back the apartment, Amy continued her prom story, "I was just about to tell him I loved him, when he cut me off mid-sentence, and told me he loved me too. I couldn't believe it."

Penny added, "I still don't. I mean for Sheldon to say he loves you. That is an epic huge deal Ames."

"I know, right? He said he had feelings he couldn't explain. The only conclusion was love." Amy took a deep breath and held her chest again, the same she did when she heard it the first time.

Emily let out a huge sigh that cleared her lungs, "Oh Amy, that is so sweet!"

Bernie didn't let the starry eyed looks get in the way of her point, "But being in love and being attracted are two different things. Because you are with Sheldon, you'll never have a man love you the way they should!" Bernie quickly added to cover her mean spirited slam, "You could get any man you wanted, Amy. Why don't you go out have a one night stand and get it over with? I bet we could find you a guy tonight to bang!"

On the other side of the door, Sheldon heart sank. He looked over to Leonard with scared puppy eyes. Leonard just placed a hand on his shoulder and shook his head, "_She would never, buddy_."

Amy dropped her tone to lower than Bernadette's. She narrowed her eyes at her and calmly said with an icy cadence, "How bout you go out and get a guy who's over 5 feet tall who makes as much money as you do, Bernie? Go ahead, cheat on Howard! No big deal right?"

"Amy, I didn't mean…"

"You pulled that kinda line on me before, Bernie, when we went the conference. I told you then, and I am telling you now, that's a terrible thing to say about my sweet babboo." Amy drew in a sharp breath through her clenched teeth and looked at all three women with cold stare, "Look, you all need to start respecting my relationship with Sheldon. Would you EVER suggest to Penny that she cheat on Leonard if they had an issue? No! Don't think for a moment my relationship with Sheldon is any less valid than yours simply because we don't have sex! It is valid. It's not a joke. It's real and frankly, it's the strongest one of this group. Got it?"

"I'm sorry, Amy… I just…"

On the other side of the door, Sheldon smiled and held his hand against the cold metal as if he could reach out and hold Amy at that moment. The other three guys looked down at their shoes and avoided Sheldon. They knew they were guilty of thinking the same thing; Amy's stern words were heard by more than the ladies that night.


	4. Chapter 4

**The Unconventional Romance Paradigm 4**

Back in the apartment, Amy didn't back down. She cut off Bernadette's apology with a swift wave of her hand, "Ladies, let's be honest. You guys can't fathom **any** man being sexually attracted to me. I know that, and I am used to it. But, just because Sheldon doesn't want to have sex, doesn't mean it has anything to do with me. I don't flaunt my sexuality, Bernadette; I don't need to. Sheldon kissed me when I was dressed like this... in this dress you called grandma's rejected Sunday go a meetin' outfit..."

"Bernie! What the hell!? We agreed not to say anything about Amy's grandma clothes anymore!" Penny snapped at Bernie who looked down again. Emily just shook her head.

"Well, I love this dress, so I don't care." Amy looked down at her outfit. She was wearing a dress similar to the one she wore on the train. "I cover myself so I am comfortable, and he still kissed me. That kiss was more than just a peck on the lips. It was the stuff of romance novels…"

Amy softened her tone and recalled that night on the train, "He started off upset about the trip, sure. I had tricked him into a romantic weekend. I should have been upfront with him. He kissed me to make a point. His kiss was so forceful, with so much anger. Then within a second, he softened…" Amy reached up and touched her lips as she remembered, "He moved closer to me and placed his hands on my hips. He had never done that before. His lips were so tender and soft like velvet. By the time I knew any better, he moved his mouth over mine, so gently yet with a yearning force. When he pulled away, my knees almost gave out."

All three women let out an awe and massive exhale. They were as starry eyed as if they had watched any romantic movie.

"That one surprising heated kiss is worth a thousand. It surprised both of us. He was the one who added kissing to the agreement. _**He**_ did that, not me! He wanted to cover his actions on that train, but I knew it was because he liked it and he still does. He always smiles before he kisses me."

"Well, I didn't see that kiss, but I've seen your date night kisses, Amy. They are not heated." Penny winced at her own rash comment and looked at her wine. She thought maybe Bernie's tone was contagious.

"Those are the public kisses. The private ones are let's say… more intense. Oh and Penny… I have kissed Sheldon way more times that I have kissed you… just sayin. Like LOTS more!"

"Alright, alright… Lucky boy…" Penny winked and held her wine glass to Amy.

Amy smiled and held her arms around her body, "Oh I have to say, when he looks at me, he lingers like he is memorizing the moment for later; almost recording it. When he compliments me, it means more because it is off the cuff and from the heart. When he tells me he loves me, I know it true. I know he has fought it off for years and tried to ignore his feelings for me, but he still admits it. When he touches me, it's the lightest of touch, but sends me reeling for hours like I can still feel the electricity course through me." Amy drew in a sharp breath and smiled while staring off in the distance, "His kiss can keep me happy for a month. One kiss can do that! All the things you all take for granted, with Sheldon it means more, so much more. I have had more romance in a single moment and in one kiss, than all of you have had your entire relationship."

All three other women looked at each other in common recognition. Amy could tell they were in agreement, "If the idea of romance is to show the other person they are loved, then Sheldon Cooper is the most romantic soul around. I know we don't have sex. We don't need to."

"But I thought you wanted sex, Amy!"

"I do want it, but I don't need sex anymore to prove he loves me. I know he does. And frankly, I don't know if I could make love to Sheldon anyway. I would probably short circuit within the first hour."

Emily let out a chuckle, "Oh honey… An hour? You need to be better informed… Sex doesn't take an hour… More like a few minutes if the guy is so new at it."

"Well, Leonard is the king of foreplay, so about 15 minutes of foreplay, then 7 minutes of heaven."

Bernadette laughed, "HA! Seven minutes would be a gift! Try 4 minutes on a good day! I hate to tell you this Amy, but if you ever do have sex with Sheldon don't expect much."

Amy let out a chuckle, "Ladies, Ladies, please… Let me put it this way, think about who we are talking about here. Sheldon Cooper. The man does nothing half assed. He is methodical, careful and a perfectionist. He waited 7 years to make a point to Leonard." Amy took another drink of her wine and continued with a soft smile blossoming over her face, "That night during the D&D game, I found out what he might be like in bed. Attention to detail was let's say, compelling. There is another example of him stepping out of his comfort zone for me. Think about it. He told me things he would do to me, and oh my god, ladies… His words only were enough to orgasm let along the husky tone of the delivery. I just….. HOO!"

Emily looked confused again, "D&D game?"

"Oh, Sheldon and Amy had a love spell cast on them and had make believe sex. No big deal."

"No big deal? Really? When was the last time you had an orgasm from Leonard's words alone? Or you Bernadette, when was the last time just the thought of Howard kissing you caused you to climax? That was what the night did for me and Sheldon stepped WAY out of his comfort zone to make me feel that. Let me tell you, if Sheldon ever follows through on half of what he said that night, I wouldn't be able to walk for week."

On the other side of the door, all three guys looked at Sheldon who bit his bottom lip and looked away embarrassed. That was until Howard came up to him and whispered, "_Hey Sheldon, sometime shoot me an email on what you said to Amy, okay_?" Sheldon looked at him with ire for the tease he expected, but Howard was deadly serious. Raj shook his head too. Leonard chimed in, "_CC me as well, Buddy_." Sheldon bit his lip again to hide his smile and continued to listen at the door. Amy was just finishing explaining some of what Sheldon said.

"Then he rolled a 20." The rest of what Amy said was garbled, but the next thing the guys heard was a gasp from all three women.

"Holy crap on a cracker! He said he would do that to you? I didn't know Sheldon even knew where that was, let alone what to do with it!"

"Yes, and that was just first 10 minutes. This from a guy who says he doesn't want intercourse. Either he is deluding himself into thinking he doesn't want it or he is the best researched sex-averse person I've ever met. I'm telling, ya ladies….he is patient, loves repetition and hates to lose. Do you think for one second that if he ever does decide to have sex, that man will be anything less than sex god? I have already mentioned his attention to detail, there is also his pathological need for closure, not to mention years of sexual repression bubbling to surface like a dormant volcano. Also, have you ever seen him eat an ice cream cone? Good god, ladies, just think about it."

All three women cleared their throats as they stared at an empty void that was their perceived superior sexual relationships. Finally, Bernie spoke up, "Oh my god, have you seen how he moves his hands over those game controllers? Can you imagine?"

"Oh, I have girls. Every night." Amy was looking at Sheldon's spot on the sofa while lightly running her hands over the side of the couch arm.

Emily licked her lips, "God, he is so tall…" She ran her hands up and down the sides of her wine glass unconsciously. Finally she took a large drink and licked the sides of the glass to catch the drips of red wines gliding down the sides. Her slight moan even surprised herself.

"So I will state it again. Sheldon may not be ready for coitus, but it doesn't matter. He is the most romantic man I will ever have the privilege of knowing. I love him more than my own breath, and I will never leave him, no matter if we ever have coitus or not. End of story." Amy took a large drink off her wine and yelled out, "Besides, we have an 8.2 so, suck on that ladies!" Amy raised her glass and let out a woohoo! Penny rolled her eyes and Bernadette and Emily looked confused.

Penny explained, "Sheldon and Amy took this stupid relationship test and scored really high. They think they are the best relationship."

"Well, after all I heard tonight, maybe she's right!"

Even Bernadette looked at Emily and admitted, "I don't know, maybe she is. Amy you sure make a good case for Sheldon, which I have to tell you, was not easy for me."

Penny snapped back sarcastically, "Oh really, Bernadette?"

Bernie sneered at Penny, "He really is romantic, in his own way. In their way. Still… I want to see that relationship test, though."

Penny quickly added, "It's stupid."

"It's not stupid, it's science. After Sheldon's trip, he insisted we take the test. He wanted to prove to me that we have a strong relationship. It's one thing to say it, but it's another thing to have it proven by science." Amy got up and retrieved one of Sheldon's white boards, "Look, the test measures your compatibility as a couple…" Amy outlined the entire test and then on the side of the board did a quick Venn diagram of her relationship with Sheldon and the test. She listed all the items she had outlined earlier. The girls were impressed with the results. "You should have seen his face… He was so proud. We are stronger than ever."

"I want to take this test!"

"Oh, don't worry Bernadette, you and Howard are fine, it's me and Leonard that are at the bottom after me and chardonnay."

Amy giggled and winked at Penny, "Are you cheating on sauvignon blanc?" Penny just shook her head and looked at her glass of red wine. "Well… Maybe… It didn't understand my needs as woman."

Bernadette looked away and whispered, "Oh man, maybe there is something to this relationship test then after all. Damn."

"ANYWAY!...Penny poured the last of the wine in her glass and shook the bottle to get the few drops out before announcing, "We need more wine, ladies!" She moved to the door and swung it open to find guys seated on the boxes of talcum powder boxes; having eaten all the snacks, they all had a look of guilt plastered across their faces Sheldon had moved back, but Penny could tell he had been listening at the door. "Hello Sheldon! Been here long?"

"Oh, no… um. Penny, we just got here… Sorry for the delay…"

"Oh really? Is that why Raj's fingers are orange from the entire bag of Cheetos lying on the floor there. Also, hon, you have an imprint of the 4A on the side of your face." Penny giggled and ran across the hall to get more bottles of wine. Sheldon held his hand to his face, to hide his cheek. He didn't see what Amy was erasing off the white board. He was too busy hiding his embarrassment but he was in for worse when he entered the apartment from his newly formed fan club.

Leonard and the guys carried the boxes in the apartment without fan fair. It was Sheldon who all the girls were waiting to see.

"Well, hello Sheldon! My, my, are you a sight for sore eyes!" Emily raised her brows at Sheldon suggestively. Sheldon had two looks: One soft and kind that was fixed on Amy; the other seething and fuming for the other women.

His blood boiled with a higher viscosity than ever before when he looked at the women who he felt had brutalized his precious Amy with hurtful words. Bernadette was the main object of his rage. The women were oblivious to his anger. Emily and Bernadette were smiling oddly at Sheldon while eyeing him up and down. Penny popped back over with two more bottles of wine just as Bernadette announced to Sheldon, "Yes, Sheldon, we have been hearing what a good boyfriend you are! Amy has told us quite a tale…."

Sheldon glowered at the three ladies, "You should have no doubt. Besides, she has nothing to prove to the likes of _you_, Bernadette."

"Hey, what does that mean?!"

"Sheldon!" Amy, sensing something was wrong, came over to Sheldon and lightly touched his arm. Though she didn't know the source of his anger, she wanted to defuse the situation quickly. Sheldon looked down at his arm and stopped talking immediately. Amy pulled her hand away quickly, but Sheldon grabbed it and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her into his side.

He suddenly realized his actions when the entire room gasped to watch the uncharacteristic display of affection. Sheldon looked at Amy and blinked quickly before stumbling through the words, "I'm… sorry Amy… It was quite a battle at Costco… Forgive me…" He didn't let go of her waist without giving her a slight squeeze on her ribs that garnered a sweet smile over Amy's face.

"Oh my, well. That's fine … I wanted to know… Oh my…I just wanted to know where you wanted the groceries, Sheldon." Amy let out a quick Hoo with side smile and scuttled off to the kitchen. Sheldon snorted like a dragon at Bernadette and turned quickly to help Amy.

Bernadette whispered to Emily, "What's his problem?"

Emily was half crocked and still playing with her wine glass, "I don't know, but god she can rein him in on a dime, huh?"

Bernadette whispered to Emily, "You should have seen her on Thanksgiving. Sheldon was being an ass and Amy said like two words to him, and he apologized. She has serious power over him."

Emily was licking her lips staring at Sheldon, "Well, I wonder how Amy will use that power. I know how I would. But hot damn, he is tall huh?"

In the kitchen, Amy was looking over the empty bags, "Sheldon, do you need help with the snack… Where… where are all the snacks?" Amy looked around, but the snacks were gone. All that was left in the shopping bags were empty foil packages crunched up like broken bones on a battle field. Amy looked at Sheldon for answers, but he just looked at her and swallowed; saying nothing as he threw away his empty box of red vines before she noticed.

Bernadette rushed to the kitchen like a ravenous badger. She was the first to notice the lack of food, and growled at Howard, "Where the hell have you guys been? It's been over 3 hours! I'm starving!"

Howard looked around for some crumbs, but nothing. He knew his wife would be cranky with no food, "Costco was a hell scape. That trip caused deep emotional scars that I can't talk about right now without crying."

"It must have been…" Bernadette was too hungry to care, "Howie, I am about ready to eat Penny's cooking…"

Howard's face lit up, " Let's order a pizza!"

"Make it two! And go get more snacks!"

"Yes dear…"

Sheldon looked at Amy with a soft smile as he watched her unpack the few groceries that weren't sucked down by the eavesdroppers. He moved closer to her and lightly grabbed her hand. He leaned down to her ear and whispered to her, "Amy, would you rather go out to the movie? Alone…"

Amy pulled back and looked to Sheldon's eyes in confusion, "Sheldon, I thought you wanted to see it here? Did you want to see a different movie now?"

"No, I just want…I want… to know what you want." He watched her brush her hair off her face and give him a slight side grin. His eyes were locked to hers and he took a deep breath while lightly brushing the one strand of hair she missed off her smiling face. He licked his lips and moved closer to her, but as he bent his head towards her, Bernadette's giggles and the group's voices kept him from following through. He took a step back and looked away quickly.

Amy smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear, "Sheldon, where ever we see it will be fine. I am just happy to be with you, okay?"

Sheldon looked down at his feet and felt his neck warm. He noticed his pulse was heavy, his stomach was flipping like a flap jacks and his hands felt tingling like they were scorched from a camp fire. He previously thought he had a brain parasite, but now knew better. It was Amy that caused his affliction. She was also the only cure.

Sheldon was extremely quiet after he settled into his spot on the couch. Amy looked concerned, but knew better than to ask him in front of the group if anything was the matter. After a much needed pizza order that absorbed the 3 bottles of wine the girls put away, the gang was finally able to watch the Stephen Hawking movie. Sheldon was thankful for the silence that the movie provided. Before the film, the women's scrutiny was unnerving to Sheldon; especially Emily's strange looks at this hands. Amy sat next to him and silently watched the movie completely unaware that any of her conversation with the girls was overheard, let alone the entire transcript.

At one point, most of the room was crying at a particular poignant scene when Hawking's wife stood by his side during the worst part of his illness. Amy expected Sheldon to get up in disgust, but he watched silently and placed his hand next to Amy's on the couch. Sheldon's finger tips softly glanced over her palm and wrist before he weaved his fingers between hers. Amy smiled at the small gesture and lightly squeezed his hand during some of the most heart wrenching scenes. Amy didn't notice Sheldon stealing glances her way or the deep swallows that followed.

The gang expected Sheldon to stop the movie mid-way and kick the lot out due to the overly emotional nature of the film. They were pleasantly surprised when Sheldon held his tongue even through the credits. Once the movie was over, the gang stayed for another half an hour, finishing off Penny's wine and discussing the movie. Sheldon's only words were to completely agree with Amy's every opinion.

After 9:30, everyone started to leave, including Amy.

Sheldon's eyes drooped down and he gave Amy's hand one last feather touch before he excused himself for bed. He disappeared down the hall but not before giving Amy a melancholy smile.

Amy pulled Leonard aside while she was putting on her coat.

"Leonard, that movie might have upset him. Will you text me if he is not okay tonight. I am worried about him."

"I will Amy, but he probably just upset that a Stephen Hawking movie didn't have more black holes in it or something. Don't worry. You know how he is."

Amy scoffed at the quick dismissal," I do know exactly how he is, and that's why I am worried. Please…"

"Okay. Good Night Amy."

Everyone left, including Penny. Leonard told her he would be by later; he wanted to check on Sheldon. Leonard timidly knocked on Sheldon's door and called out to him, "Hey buddy, everyone is gone. You can come out now, if you want."

"Is Amy gone?"

"Yeah, Sheldon she is."

Leonard waited for reply, but instead Sheldon's door crept open. Sheldon's eyes were blood shot and puffy. His hair was mangled and he had water drops on his shirt. Leonard clearly understood now what caused Amy concern and he suddenly shared her worry, "Buddy, are you okay?"

"No Leonard. I am not." Sheldon walked past Leonard and went to the kitchen to fix a hot beverage. He picked out a lemon zest tea and waited for the kettle. Leonard watched his friend's shoulders slump over and his hands brace his weight against the counter. He pushed back in frustration.

"Sheldon, what's wrong? Was it the movie?"

"No Leonard, well. Maybe a little. No, it's me Leonard. I am the problem." Sheldon turned around and drew in a sharp breath before he voiced his confession, "You heard her tonight, Leonard. Amy thinks I am romantic. She defended me against all the girls' criticisms."

"That's was great, Sheldon! She stood by you. You should be happy!"

"How am I supposed to compete with that?"

"Compete with what? She was talking about you!"

"You and I both know that wasn't me! She was talking about her fantasy of me. Not me. No way."

Leonard slumped down in frustration and rubbed his temples, "Let me get this straight… Your girlfriend thinks you are a romantic God and you are upset?"

Sheldon stood up and looked Leonard in the eye, "You do get me, Leonard, thank you."

Leonard rolled his eyes as he almost fell over in frustration, "No, buddy I don't get you. I think it would be great if Penny thought I was the most romantic man since Fabio. You should be jumping for joy! Amy is elated with you! Through no action on your own, you managed to convince her that you are a romance god. You have no pressure. You're off the hook for all of it! You should be thrilled!"

"Oh Leonard. How can I make you understand? I want to be the man she believes I am, I need to show her more how I feel about her. I don't want her to find out I am fraud and leave me for that guy Bernadette was talking about."

"What guy?"

"The guy that will '_bang'_ Amy."

Leonard smiled, "Oh I get it. You don't think you can prove you are romantic enough for Amy without having sex with her."

Sheldon looked down at the floor, "Yes." He meekly said the response and almost choked on the words.

"Buddy, did you and I listen to same conversation? She ALREADY thinks you are romantic. She says she doesn't need sex to prove you love her. She's happy! Why in god's name aren't you?"

"Leonard, how can possible be the kind of man that Amy deserves without giving her what she really wants? This love stuff will dissipate. She'll all hopped up on funny juice since the prom and that will only last for so long. Soon she will realize that I am not that romantic guy she was defending tonight. I will screw up again and she will have to cover it up with justifications to her friends who will eventually convince her I am not worthy of her. Then she will resent me, and realize I am not that guy she talked about tonight. She will leave me. I'll lose her forever." By the time Sheldon finished his tirade, his words were trembling in his throat.

"Buddy, look, it's like that movie tonight. Hawking's wife loved him when he was broken just the same as when he was well. Amy loves you already, right now, as you are today. Didn't she say in the car when we picked you up from Arizona that she was okay that you weren't perfect? "

"Yes, she did Leonard, and as you well know, I was so upset by that, I wanted to break up with her."

"Cause you're nuts."

"NO! Because I want her think I am perfect! I need her to, don't you get it. Besides, you know I'm not nuts." Sheldon looked away and mumbled to himself, " I am really going to have to get those test results from mama. "

"Well, tests or no, no one is perfect, Sheldon! Not even you."

"Yes, but Leonard…" Sheldon took a deep swallow, "She deserves perfect."

"Well, she sounds like she is happy as a clam to me!"

Sheldon was quiet for a second before his eyes grew wide and a smile crawled across his face, "CLAMS!"

"What?"

"I will take her away for a romantic weekend!"

"That's a great idea!"

"With flowers and chocolates and all that goofy stuff girls like!"

"Okay, but I don't think Amy needs…"

Sheldon was rubbing his hands together like he just crafted the most clever of plots, "At the beach!" or a romantic Island! Girls love that stuff! "

"Good, except you hate the beach… but... Okay, a little over the top…I still don't think you need to..."

"Then I have force myself to be romantic with her! Even if that means the ultimate sacrifice." Sheldon looked away and jutted out his jaw in defiance.

Leonard spit his water across the kitchen, "WHAT?! She already thinks you are romantic… How can you top what she already thinks? Are you going to have sex with Amy?"

"You are finally getting my dilemma." Sheldon stiffened up and sucked in his upper lip, "I must do what's necessary, Leonard. I did say force myself to be romantic. If it comes to that, then I will do what is right. First, I must prove I am the romantic god she thinks I am! Other things, well…. We will see what happens. But I am willing to go the distance."

"You poor thing…"

"I know, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make…Like the brave knights of old, I must don my armor and face the fiery breath of the dragon…"

Leonard shook his head and interrupted Sheldon's rant, "Um, buddy, we better go the drug store and get you some latex armor… ya know? For your quest…"

"Yes, yes.. Leonard. That will be part of my arsenal. Besides, I already had one of those from prom..."

"What? Are you serious? I thought you didn't want to have sex that night?"

"I didn't want the pressure. But I read online a list of all the things a guy should have for prom and that was on the list: A flask of liquor and a condom in your wallet. I am always prepared for battle, Leonard!"

Leonard rolled his eyes, "Amy would be so proud of you using battle analogies to describe sex with her."

"Oh she will be! I am going to be romance god! Like Thor or Mars!"

"Think more God of love, less god of war… Sheldon!"

Sheldon was too busy planning his love strategy in his head to hear any good advice given by his roommate, "Good thing she is always wearing tights, because I am going to knock her socks off!"

"Uh, buddy… A lot more than her tights are going to have to come off before you finish this love quest of yours."

Sheldon looked down at his tea with a renewed interest. "I know that, Leonard! It's not like I have thought about it."

"Really? I find that inconsistent with everything I know about you." Leonard could hide his smirk, but he knew well enough not to tease Sheldon.

"Well, times are a'changin' Leonard. But know this! When I am done with this quest, I will have truly won the heart of the fair Amy Farrah Fowler once and for all!"

"And the fact that you already won her heart, is what?"

"Collateral damage."

"Oh Amy, you lucky girl."

* * *

><p><strong>AN A big thank you again to SHamy4Evr for helping me so much with the chapter. I really struggled with how Sheldon was going to handle it when he came through the door. There was a lot of back and forth on this, but I like this version. Thanks again!**

** And thank you guys for the reviews. I just love getting the notification that you guys have commented on the chapter. Other author's know what i am talking about, it is a thrill that someone is reading your stuff, let alone leaving a comment. Thanks again! You guys made my thanksgiving this year! SO thanks for giving me the reviews!**


	5. Chapter 5

**The Unconventional Romance Paradigm 5**

* * *

><p>Amy met Sheldon at the door just as Leonard, who was a blubbering red eyed mess, was leaving 4A.<p>

"What's with him?"

Sheldon shrugged his shoulders, "Too much estrogen. Anyway, ready to get started?"

"Yes." Amy made her way to the couch and sunk into her spot. She appeared slightly nervous but raised her chin in confidence. "You may begin."

"The annual state of the relationship summit is called into order. Now Amy, do you have your usual extensive list of discussion topics that we need to address. I planned for a long night." Sheldon had his Cost Co size package of Oreos and plenty of tea on hand for the evening. He had been planning all week for his big Valentine's Day announcement to Amy. He hoped he didn't have to put up with hours on end of relationship scrutiny that he usually faced during their summits. Most of her issues with him were confusing at best. He still didn't understand the motivations behind most of them.

"I just have four items to discuss on top of the usual updates."

Sheldon almost dropped his tea on his lap. "Four? Last year you had 26! How could you just have four?"

"Well, there is not much to go over this year that we have not already resolved to our mutual satisfaction. We have decided on a tremendous amount in committee meetings and your apropos groveling after your train trip this summer got you out the dog house. Our date nights are always in agreement lately. We haven't had any family visits to contend with this year and I have given up the argument about the zombie clause and that stupid Skynet thing. So, you're good, cuddles."

"Cuddles? I didn't agree to that nickname! That reminds me; I still don't have one for you. I bet that is one of your items."

Amy tapped her tea mug with her index finger and smirked, "As always. Let me help you out this year, cuddles." Amy tapped her finger to her mug while ignoring Sheldon's blushing at the word cuddles again. "Well you called me "a little lump of wool" when you introduced yourself to my colleagues at work; you could use that one?"

"That's not good enough!" Amy blushed at his response which caused Sheldon to scoff, "Besides, this nickname nonsense is your thing, not mine." Sheldon let out a whine, "Why do I have to be called 'cuddles'?"

Amy lightly tickled his knee, "Because you're so cuddly!" She knew she was crossing a line, but she had been pushing the boundaries of physical contact with Sheldon since before Christmas and he hadn't put up much protest; so long as the action was in private. The mistletoe fiasco at Christmas when he called her public kiss a 'Tijuana Sex show' was still a sore point but it was a great learning experience. Amy never pushed the issue too much, and never in public.

Sheldon blushed and brushed her hand off. He mumbled under his breath, "Vixen!"

"There, just use that!

"Vixen? That's doesn't seem appropriate for casual conversation."

Amy lowered her voice to a seductive tone and raised her brows playfully, "Who said anything about casual conversation…" Sheldon took a deep swallow and looked away with a crimson blush rushing up his cheeks. Amy twitched her nose trying to hide her smile, but it was futile. "Moving on… Item two: Date nights."

Sheldon quickly snapped his head back to Amy, "You just said we were fine! What's wrong with them?"

Amy took a deep breath and let out her idea with a wince, "Nothing! They are great; so much so I would like more. I propose we have them more often than twice a month." They had already increased the date nights before he left on the train trip to bi-weekly, so Amy knew she was pushing it. She held her breath and tensed up waiting for the torrent of complaints she envisioned. She almost crushed the ceramic mug she was clasping for dear life.

Sheldon raised his one eye brow and sipped his tea, "How often?"

Amy let out a short breath, "Maybe once a week?" She bit her lip and waited. She knew to start with the high demand and then negotiate to less. Amy had spent enough times bargaining in bazaars in the Middle East to know how to haggle. She watched carefully as his eyes were darting around like he was calculating some grand unified theory.

Then he gave a shrug and simply answered. "Okay."

"Okay? Really?"

"Sure, we see each other anyway. I knew this would come up since we stopped filming so many Fun with Flag episodes. Brilliant idea to do them once a month by the way. We can really prepare the upcoming one on Germany which has been delayed since the holidays. I was thinking we could get Bernadette to wear the swastika costume because she is so tiny and can fit in the bends. Then you could do the Weimar Republic and I can be Prussia. Then we can..."

After Amy recovered from his suggestion for Fun with Flags, she answered quickly, "First of all, there is no way Howard will let Bernadette wear a swastika outfit. I will explain fully in a few minutes how even the suggestion of that is grossly inappropriate and you should never suggest it again. I told you that was a terrible idea before you when off on your own to pitch the idea to Levar Burton. I will also explain later why that was a bad idea as well." Then Amy looked softer to Sheldon, "Are you really okay with date nights once a week?"

Sheldon answered flatly, "Yes."

Amy spoke with an urgency; almost swallowing her words she spoke so fast, "They don't have to be some elaborate thing ya know. We can just do dinner, maybe see a movie. No pressure. If you don't want to, we can even miss a week occasionally. I just thought…"

"I said it's okay, Amy. Are you backing out already?"

"NO! No.. no..I am… just…"

"Just what?"

Numerous words crossed Amy's mind, like flabbergasted, shocked, amazed but the one that came out was: "Thrilled!"

Sheldon gave a slight smile in exchange for her toothy wide grin, "Good. What day shall it be? Or to be determined?"

Amy blinked several times. He never left something so important, 'to be determined'. She just nodded in agreement. Sheldon smiled and waved her to continue, "Moving on, what's next? I have my own list to go through, ya know!"

Amy had just taken a bite of Oreo cookie with crumbled in her mouth when Sheldon spoke, "You have a list? What do you have?"

Sheldon raised his brows and bit his lip. The action drove Amy wild and he knew it, "You'll see. Now, continue." He brushed the cookie crumbles off the side of her mouth that were driving him crazy. Amy quickly wiped her mouth, blushed and sipped her tea all the while watching Sheldon. He seemed to be wearing a devious smirk.

"Okay, well… the next item it's kinda of a suggestion, and it kinda goes with the first thing, but not really. Well, it does and it doesn't…."

"Spill it, Fowler."

Amy let out her statement with a rapid response worthy of an auctioneer, "I want to have the date night kiss time extended."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"How long?"

"um… 20 seconds?"

"Would this be consecutive or cumulative?"

"I don't understand."

Sheldon let out a rushed sigh, "If I kiss you before the date, say for 3 seconds, then after the date is concluded would I only kiss you for 17 seconds, or would it be still the 20 seconds rule."

"We don't kiss before our dates."

"Well, I haven't gotten to my list, have I?"

Amy choked on her tea, "Oh my… I think I want to hear you list before I go any further."

"Okay… Well..I wasn't going to suggest we increase our date night kiss but it was going to include a pre date kiss in addition. Now your suggestion throws a monkey wrench in the whole thing and I have to rethink my suggestion."

"Well, I like your suggestion. I like it a lot." Amy loved any suggestion that included more kissing. She just couldn't believe it was Sheldon who was suggesting it. She tapped her tea mug and then continued, "How about this… You decide on the length on a case by case basis. Keep your own kissing count, so to speak."

"Me? Don't you want input?"

"As long as it is at least 20 seconds cumulative, then you can kiss me all you want. And whenever. You decide."

"20 seconds, is that maximum or minimum?"

"Minimum."

"Hmm. Okay… but you are giving up a lot of power here miss. Relinquishing the right to vote on critical issues like this. Are you sure?"

"Oh I'm voting. I am voting that you to make the decision for us. I trust you will abide by the minimum requirements. At our semiannual summit, I might suggest that I can kiss you _**whenever**_ I want, so be prepared."

"That's anarchy."

"Nope, that's democracy. Be glad I don't ask for _wherever_ I want…" Sheldon looked confused by her last statement, but Amy didn't want to clarify. Before she could see any back pedaling, she quickly changed the subject, "Now moving on. I know you hate it, but we need to discuss Valentine's Day, and I have the perfect suggestion."

Sheldon cut her off with a wave and impish grin, "Way ahead of you little lady. I have it all planned out."

"What? You do? What do you have planned?"

Sheldon was almost jumping up and down with excitement to tell Amy of the plans he had been working on all week. He left out all the other research he had been doing and concentrated on the less salacious details of their weekend getaway, "We are going to on a romantic weekend away on a romantic island and stay at a romantic hotel with a romantic view across the ocean. Huh? Do I know Romance or what?!" He clinked his tea mug to Amy's with a smug smile.

Amy jaw dropped open and she couldn't speak for a few seconds. Sheldon reached over, "Here, let me close that for ya! How does that sound?"

"Um… Romantic?"

"Exactly! " He raised his eye brows up and down quickly and pulled up his IPad. "See I knew you'd love it! Now, we only have a few days, there aren't many islands nearby but I found a hotel at Catalina. It is only 22 miles off the coast. We arrive Friday on the ferry."

"Hold up… Wait… You want to go to an island?"

"Yes."

"They don't have a bridge to that island. You know you have to get there on a boat?

"Yes… Ferry… Yes. I'm from Galveston, I know how an island works smarty pants. Hey that can be your nickname!"."

"Well, not bad, but off topic. Back on point, you want to stay on this island, in a hotel, with me?"

Sheldon rolled his eyes and shook his head, "Yes, you! You're my girlfriend, who else would I take?"

"Sheldon! You hate boats, islands, water. You get sea sick… Who put you up to this? Is this an early April fool's joke? Did the girls put you up to this?" Amy looked around for a camera or for Penny to jump out of the closet. She also expected a Bazinga, but none was forthcoming.

"No, no one put me up to this! Just me and my brilliant mind! Now, you need pack warm, and I am sorry, but Catalina's famous flying fish are not in season, but we might see whales, so bring your binoculars. Oh, and here is where we are staying…" Sheldon showed Amy the IPad with a breathtaking view from the hotel room he had booked. The room had flowing white curtain framing an azure ocean view. The bed room had balcony with iron rails overlooking the port. It looked like a room on the Italian Rivera. The hotel itself had marble floors and posh decorations. It was everything Sheldon would hate. Amy flipped to another picture of the bedroom and noticed there was only one bed.

"Um.. wait, we are staying in the same room?"

"Um, well. I booked two rooms."

"Oh good, or I would have thought you completely lost your mind." Sheldon looked confused at her dismissal, "Sheldon there is nothing about this trip you would enjoy. How could you possible think you would like this! Look! The Tub is claw footed!"

"Well, I booked it didn't I? I thought you would be happy. Each room has its own tub, and I know it is claw footed, but it also has separate shower." Sheldon looked at Amy's confused face and slumped his shoulders in defeat. He lowered his tone, "There is this other place in Santa Barbara if you like, but it's not an island…"

"Why does it have to be island?"

Sheldon took a deep swallow. He didn't care to admit that he was raising the volume on the romance levels to a deafening tone without revealing his true motivation of proving his worth. He said the first thing he could think of. "I'm home sick for islands." Using his upbringing in the argument was risky as it might lead to discussion of vial hippy feelings, but Amy was too surprised to push the issue. He gave her his best sad face and slumped down again, "I thought you would like it.." That got her. Amy was putty when Sheldon started to look sad.

"No, it's perfect Sheldon, but we don't need all this! I don't think you would like it."

"Would you?"

"Of course I would, are you kidding? It's perfect, but it's not about…"

"Then we are doing it. End of discussion."

"Oh Sheldon, it's all very nice. I really appreciate it, but really…"

"You planned last year, why can't I plan this year?" Sheldon wide blue eyes and child-like whine was enough to get Amy to balk. The extra baby powder he seemed to have been swimming in lately didn't help Amy's resolve.

She lightly tapped his arm, and let out a large sigh, "Okay. You're right. But my offer still stands if you want to change your plans."

"What's your idea?"

Amy almost jumped up with excitement, "Well, I know you _hate_ Valentine's Day, and you were so happy when I cancelled it that one year. So, I found something you would **love. **." Amy pulled a single piece of paper showing the prized ticket. With giddy excitement she announced, "I got you a ticket for Gallifrey One, the Doctor Who convention in LA over Presidents day weekend. I even booked you a hotel at the convention so do you don't have to get a ride from anyone."

Sheldon let out a whimper, "Amy! That's been sold out for months!"

"I know. I bought it in the summer."

"You had the ticket for this for six months? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted it to be a surprise and you don't like gifts. Well, you used to not like gifts. Anyway, Valentine's Day has been different, so I thought you would be pleased."

Sheldon looked down and saw it was only one ticket, "But Amy, Valentine's day is supposed to be spent together. There is only one ticket."

"I know, but it's for you."

"What about you?"

"I love you, that's enough for me." She smiled broadly and lightly tapped Sheldon's arm. She blinked her eyes waiting to hear the reaction he expected. She had told Raj and Howard about her idea and after they shrieked in jealousy, they informed her that Sheldon would love it. However his expression was anything but love for her idea.

Sheldon took a deep swallow to get rid of the taste in his mouth. He hated to hear those words, 'It was enough'. He had heard them twice that night he eavesdropped her conversation with the girls. He didn't want to 'just be enough'. He wanted to be everything. The weekend had to be perfect and he had to prove to her he was more than she thought he was. He looked down at her printed ticket and pushed it back to her with a heavy sigh.

"No Amy, we have to spend Valentines day's together, or it doesn't count."

Amy reached over and held Sheldon's hand, "Answer me honestly and I will go wherever you want: Do you really want to go on this Island weekend trip? Honestly?"

Sheldon placed his hand on hers and tapped it lightly, "Yes. I really do."

Amy narrowed her piercing green eyes at him and lowered her tone, "More than going to a Doctor Who convention?"

"Yes…"He released her hand and quickly rose from the couch before she could see his nervous twitching. He grabbed their tea mugs and headed to the kitchen.

Amy gripped the paper tightly while she thought about the island trip. She forced down any glimmer of hope for coitus. She knew Sheldon wasn't ready for that now or perhaps ever. However, she thought, maybe this was his way to get closer to her. Besides, she thought, how could she possibly pass up on a weekend away with her usually vacation adverse boyfriend. She just couldn't refuse.

"It sounds lovely Sheldon, I'm looking forward to it."

Sheldon demeanor changed in an instant. He was thrilled to be able to put his plan in action.

After a few more cookies, the required notarized signatures on the minutes of the meeting, and customary closing flag ceremony, the relationship summit was complete. Sheldon had to seat through a 30 minute lecture on race relations and holocaust history; and in the end, Sheldon agreed that a Swastika took the fun out of 'Fun with Flags." When the evening was complete, Sheldon walked Amy to the door of 4A with a gentle grin and confident stride.

"Well Sheldon, I must say, you surprised me tonight. I am looking forward to our trip."

Sheldon wasn't listening, instead he was watching Amy's mouth move as she said her good byes.

"Um, Amy… I was thinking maybe we could count this as a date, since we are already at the end of the week and you know I hate to leave things undone."

"Oh, but I figured the new requirements were not in affect till next week."

"That would've been smart to put in, however, we have an oversight and the new requirements start now." He moved closer to her by enough that the temperature between them changed. Amy looked at Sheldon's lips and forced her next words out, "Oh well, then. We should count this as a date. For sure. No doubt. I would hate to have to redo everything."

Sheldon moved a few inches closer to her, "It would be a waste of time. But I promise to make our next date more exciting." Without another word, he grabbed her hips and pulled her into him. Amy tipped her head up to meet his lips. At first, it was like any other kiss with Sheldon moving his lips slightly, and grinning through the kiss. However, slowly he changed the tempo, and while his lips were slightly sucking on Amy's bottom lip, his hands smoothly glided up her the sides of her body to find their final resting place on either side of her face. Sheldon's gentle hands were in contrast to his forceful kiss. He parted his lips and gently ran his tongue over Amy's mouth. Amy parted his lips in surprise and Sheldon took the chance to taste her tongue for the first time. He lightly stroked her cheek and glided his fingers on her jaw to hold up her face with a feather touch.

Amy had never felt a kiss like this one. She couldn't be sure, but she knew the action was much longer than the required 20 seconds. She felt all the oxygen in her lungs leave her and her knees almost crumbled. She fell back to the door bumping the hanging dart board. The sound jarred Sheldon from his action and he slowly pulled away to find Amy's eyes hooded and her mouth breathless. Amy slowly opened her eyes wider to find a smiling Sheldon studying her face, "Thank you for a productive evening, Amy Farrah Fowler."

"Um.. yeah sure.. Great… you too…" Amy blinked a few times to gather some of her composure before she stumbled out the apartment with an irrepressible grin.

Sheldon had his own irrepressible grin but for a different reasons, he thought. Sheldon had planned to increase his romance quotient before the big trip. He had broken down his plan in phases:

Phase one: Announcement was complete. Phase two: Practice. Amy helped with that issue unbeknownst to her. He wanted to increase their dates night kisses to get more practice in before the all-important weekend. Amy's suggestion to increase the number of dates and the duration of the date night kisses fell completely within Sheldon's parameters. He knew that coitus MIGHT have to be a last resort if all his other romantic plans failed, and he needed to be prepared. The last few weeks Sheldon had researched all he could concerning romance, kissing, and all the other girly things that make women go wild.

Earlier that evening:

_Leonard had come home to find Sheldon simultaneously watching Titanic, the English Patient and Somewhere in Time. Leonard was impressed with his devotion but watching three movies at the same time seemed to defeat the purpose of finding romance._

_Sheldon scoffed at the suggestion he couldn't do something, "Please Leonard, I can split my attention between these banal movies easily. Look, the plots are all the same. Boy likes girl, gets girl, blah blah blah... It is easy to keep track because they always put this overly dramatic music anytime something romantic happens. God it's as bad as a horror movie with the musical cues. It's not like a real movie, like sci fi, where you have to hear the interesting details to know what is going on."_

"_Um, Sheldon… There is so much wrong with this… First, you can't understand romance from movies, next you need to feel romance, not study it. Lastly, do you thinking watching a movie about boat sinking is the best choice right before you go on your trip?"_

_Sheldon looked away, and then back, "Fair point. But I challenge the notion I cannot learn how to be romantic from movies." Sheldon paused Titanic before the sinking scene. "But look at this part here.." Sheldon showed numerous scenes of romantic kisses where the man holds the woman's face while he kisses her. "That seems to be an effective method for romantic kissing. Look how the woman looks in this movie with Superman."_

"_That's Christopher Reeve, and he did way more movies than Superman, Sheldon."_

_Sheldon snorted, "Well, not any I've seen. Anyway, Superman here kisses that woman at the tree. Cue music and blamo! Instant romance!"_

_Leonard sat down and grabbed the popcorn, "So, just his hands on her face did that? Really? Hey pass the red vines." Soon the English Patient was forgotten and there was only one movie the men were watching. By the end of 'Somewhere in Time', Sheldon had sheets of notes on romance and Leonard was a blubbering mess._

"_Oh God Leonard! Man up. Do you need me get some Midol from Penny! It's just a movie! Go across the hall! I have important business with Amy tonight and I don't want to be disturbed."_

_Leonard was still blubbering, "I would say you Dawg, but I just can't get over… The look on his face when he found the penny.. Her picture… that old woman was her!" _

"_God's sake man, pull it together!" _

_After Sheldon soothed Leonard's aching heart with a warm beverage, Sheldon sent him across the hall just as Amy arrived. "What's with him?"_

_Sheldon shrugged his shoulders, "Too much estrogen. Anyway, ready to get started?"_

After Amy had left for the evening, Sheldon readied himself for bed. A few hours later he woke up with a start. He'd had a vivid dream of Amy dressed in early 20th century garb. Her hair was up in a loose bun like she had had for the beach scene during the Fun with Flags shoot. Sheldon was trying desperately to remember the dream before it faded from his mind. He remembered that in the dream she was wearing a white dress with a V neck collar that had a straight hem across the bosom. He recognized it as the same dress from the movie. The garb, the dress, and the scene were not what had woken Sheldon in the middle of the night gasping for breath. It was the feeling of kissing her with his hands wrapped around her warm blushing face. When he pulled away in the dream, he saw the same look in her face from earlier; one of awe and breathlessness. He threw the covers off his body and rushed to the bath to get a drink. He looked at himself in the mirror and found that same look of awe in his own face as he struggled for breath.


	6. Chapter 6

**Unconventional Romance Chapter 6**

The next morning Sheldon got more than an earful from Penny over the movie selection last night:

"What the hell Sheldon! You know Leonard can't watch those weepy chick flick movies! I was gluing together shattered pieces of Leonard all night!"

"Don't blame me that your boy-toy has the constitution of a 12 year old teenage girl! I didn't ask him to watch the film with me!" Sheldon had a week and half before the trip and was too busy researching the perfect romantic vacation to be bothered with any caterwauling neighbors. He took no notice of his best friend's red swollen eyes or the fuming blond beside him. For the next week Sheldon spent hours combing through all things romantic from various cultures and throughout history. He tried to write love poetry, but the attempted sonnet caused Leonard to choke on his water.

Sheldon recited his poem, "Okay here's what I got so far… Amy.. Your eyes are the color of peas, which you know is from the family Fabaceae, and if one tries to split them, it would surely make me… " Sheldon looked at Leonard with a lost and confused face, "I just can't the next word…"

"Cry? Sigh? Try?"

"Fly!"

"Sheldon, this is crazy. You have as much talent for writing love poetry as Raj would writing a manual on how to pick up women. Keep to what you know!"

Sheldon leaned back in his chair, and sighed, "That's the problem, Leonard, I know everything!

"Well, except how to write love poetry."

"You're right." Sheldon slumped off to the kitchen, picked up a sharp knife and headed to his bedroom before Leonard stopped him.

"Um, Sheldon, what the hell are you doing with a knife?"

"I'm going to carve Amy a wooden love spoon like they do in Wales." Before Leonard could say anymore Sheldon went to his bed room and closed the door.

"This will not end well."

10 minutes later, as if on cue, Sheldon screamed from the bedroom and came running out.

"Leonard, call an ambulance!" Sheldon looked at the small cut on his finger and collapsed on the floor.

After Sheldon recovered from his perilous accident with the cruel blade, he decided to up his game on their next date night. He saw the movie 'Say Anything'. Leonard and Raj snuck over after work just to watch it with Sheldon on the promise they would not tell the girls and not get too blubbery. Sheldon thought the scene with man holding the boom box to get his girlfriend's attention could work. Amy was on a third floor apartment with a window, so he could play her the song before the date. After he got rid of Leonard and Raj with a box of Kleenex each and suggestion of Prozac, he made his way to Amy's armed for battle.

Sheldon went over to apartment with a few minutes to spare. He didn't have a boom box, but his phone played music so he put on "Hello Again" by Neil Diamond and held it over his head. Nothing happened. He raised the volume, but still nothing, except the nice Armenian lady on the first floor telling him to keep it down. He played the song at least 3 times before he heard his phone go off.

"Sheldon? Are you coming?"

"Look outside your window Amy."

Sheldon played the song again, and held it over his head. He could see Amy look out, but then his phone went off again. It was Amy.

"Sheldon what are you holding up? Is that your phone? Are you okay?"

"Yes.. Listen…" Sheldon hung up on her again and held up the phone. Amy opened her window but couldn't hear a sound over the Glendale traffic and Mrs. Avezian's yelling. Amy called again.

"Do you want me to come down?"

Sheldon slumped his shoulders, "Sure… I'll meet you at your car."

Amy joined Sheldon, but he didn't want to talk about his fiasco with his 'Say Anything' attempt.

"What were you doing Sheldon? Is your phone dying?"

"I was trying something, but it didn't work." He let out a defeated sigh, "Let's just go eat Amy. Our reservations are at 6:00." Sheldon really wasn't looking forward to dinner, but Raj had recommended a romantic restaurant near down town. Sure the dishes were over $100 each, but Raj said it was worth it.

Amy had no idea what Sheldon was up to; like her, he could be odd at times, so it could be anything. She looked at his sad face and melted, "Okay Sheldon. Don't look so glum. Come on, let's forget that fancy restaurant tonight. I'll take you to see the Hobbit again. We can have a hot dog at the place you like on the way and I'll buy you some red vines."

"Oh boy Amy, that's sounds great." Sheldon was elated and instantly perked up. Just as Amy was about to get in the car Sheldon reached out and stopped her, placed his hands on her hips and briefly kissed her for five glorious seconds before pulling away with a huge smile. Amy loved to see that particular face on Sheldon and even more so that he didn't forget their pre-date kiss. She leaped to the car with a giggle and they were on their way.

The couple laughed and joked during dinner and the ride to the movie theater. Sheldon held the door for her while he was explaining the linguistic significance of the Lord of the Rings. During the movie he held her hand without protest and the kiss that Sheldon gave her at the end of the evening was so tender that her knees buckled during the first 3 seconds. Sheldon walked her to the door frame to hold her up. "Are you alright Amy?"

"Oh, my yes… Hoo…"

"Well, I need to go, Leonard is picking me up, but I want to finish something per our new agreement." Sheldon smiled again as he wrapped his hand around her waist to hold her. With the back of his other hand, he rubbed her cheek softly before he moved to her neck and weaved her hair between his fingers. His lips barely touched hers before he dove his lips against hers again as he suddenly leaned her against the door. The shock opened Amy's mouth and she felt Sheldon's tongue dance across her mouth slowly, like he was licking ice cream. Amy let out a soft moan and held onto the sleeves of his jacket for strength. He slowly pulled away with a sweet smile and released her. "Good night, Amy Farrah Fowler."

"Good Night Sheldon." Amy closed the door and let out a squeal. She immediately called Penny.

"Hey Ames, how was your date?

"BEST DATE EVER!" Amy squealed again and told Penny all the details.

Meanwhile in the car, Sheldon and Leonard were discussing the night as well.

"How did your date go? Did your romantic gesture work?"

"No, not at all. Complete bust. Jon Cusack lied to us Leonard."

"So, what did you do?"  
>"Nothing. After the musical fiasco, we were too busy having fun for any romance tonight. I guess the date was ruined." Sheldon looked down at his hand and ran his thumb over his fingers while remembering the feel of her hair. He held his fist to his mouth and tried to breath in her scent.<p>

"You still have your weekend Sheldon. Don't give up."

"Sheldon Cooper never gives up, Leonard."

Finally, the all-important weekend came. Sheldon was beaming with romantic bravado as he and Amy drove to the Long Beach Port. Sheldon had meticulously planned the trip to ensure a whirlwind weekend dripping with romance. They would arrive with plenty of time to spare to catch the ferry for Catalina Island. First, Sheldon wanted to show Amy the museum on the Queen Mary. Amy didn't have the heart to tell him she had been there numerous times as she allowed him to rattle off the history of the Ocean liner while they walked down to Amy's car.

"Now Amy. You need to take the 110 to the harbor."

"Sheldon the 710 is much faster and takes us directly to Long Beach."

Sheldon let out an exasperated sigh, "Yes, but we will be going by all those unsafe freight trucks heading to San Pedro. Trust me, 110 is the best route." Amy rolled her eyes and headed to the route he suggested to avoid any fights.

After an hour and half in thick LA traffic on the 110, Sheldon and Amy had gone 4 miles. There was an early event at the Staples center that made the 110 a virtual parking lot. Finally, after a quick jaunt over the 10 to the 710, the freeways were wide open. Amy tried not smirk as she whizzed down the 710 to harbor. Sheldon was grumbling as he scratched off the Queen Mary from his list.

The couple arrived with just enough time to spare. Amy managed to get her large bag out of the car. Sheldon tried to pull the seemingly rock laden suitcase along, but Amy pointed to the wheels and easily rolled the beast of a bag to the ferry.

As they boarded the ferry, a young porter met the couple to handle the bags. The porter was a statuesque muscular man with piercing green eyes and sun kissed flowing hair. Images of Thor filled Sheldon's head as he moved in front of Amy to block her view of the beef cake. As Amy handed over her bag, the young man's eyes lit up, "Dr. Fowler?"

"Brad! How are you? I had no idea you were working here! Couldn't stay away from the water huh?" Amy handed the man her bag which he took easily with an overly large tooth grin that would make any dentist proud.

"You know me Dr. Fowler."

"Oh really? How _do_ you know him Dr. Fowler?" Sheldon eyed Amy who didn't notice his ire. Sheldon instead turned his glare to Thor's long lost twin with all the malice that Loki himself could muster. "Or maybe I should ask how do YOU know Dr. Fowler?" Sheldon was fuming as the large man took Amy's elbow to help her over the threshold of the boat.

"UCLA. She was working on in the Biology lab while I was finishing my under grad work. Without her help, I don't think I would be grad school now. She is an incredible woman." Brad was beaming with pride at Amy as he helped her onto the boat.

Amy blushed at the sudden attention, "Forgive me, Brad, this is my boyfriend…" Before Amy could finish the introduction, Sheldon moved over to Amy and pulled her roughly to his side, "Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Theoretical Physics. You know, actual science. What is your grad work in Brad? Surfing?"

"I wish, dude." Brad beamed at Amy, "Marine Biology, specifically, behavior of Marine organisms. Dr. Fowler's work is inspirational. I read your latest paper in Neuron "The blushing Star fish: Echinoderm's cognitive response to emotional stimuli as an Antecedent to human emotions." It was… inspiring to say the least." Brad's gushing over Amy was flooding Sheldon with rage.

Sheldon turned to Amy who was blushing again and snapped at her, "I didn't know you finished that study, let alone had another article in Neuron."

Amy turned to Sheldon confused, "Well, I told you over dinner at the Cheesecake factory, but that was right after the Hobbit premier and you were too busy going over the inconsistencies from the book. Don't worry about it Sheldon." Amy didn't want to make fuss over the article and give Sheldon an opportunity to dismiss her again. She could have so many tiaras.

Before Sheldon could answer anymore he heard the horn blow and the boat rocked as it readied to depart. The action caught Amy off guard and she jolted forward. Sheldon held onto her hips but her hands were caught by Brad. Amy beamed at Sheldon but she noticed his gaze was glued on her hands grasping Brad's. "Oh my. Maybe we should sit for the journey."

Sheldon growled at Brad who finally released Amy's hands, "Yes, that would be most welcome."

Sheldon tried to hide his concern about the boat trip from Amy. Before their journey, he had shown her the virtual tour of the ferry's interior and it looked similar to an Amtrak train with forward facing seats. He didn't tell Amy, but as long as they sat in the very middle of the boat, with a minimal view of the water, Sheldon would be able to keep his sickness at bay. Brad, the Thor impersonator, had other ideas.

"Dr. Fowler, let me hook you up with some killer seats up front for you and Dr. Copper…"

Sheldon snorted, "That's Cooper."

"Sorry bro." Brad led the couple to the first class seat with a stunning ocean view and larger seats. The area had guard rails and a personal balcony for sightseeing. Amy was elated, but Sheldon moaned. Brad announced proudly, "Here you go, best seats in the house. Only first class for you Dr. Fowler! You deserve it."

Sheldon looked over the side of the boat and gulped. "Are you sure this is safe? Where are the life jackets? I mean we are closer to side here."

"Oh sure. These are the best seats. Only VIP's sit here. Besides, anything happens, I dive straight in to save you Dr. Fowler." Brad stood up and brushed off his tight fitting uniform, "Sit tight, and I'll get you some Mimosas!"

To Sheldon's delight Brad scuttled off down the corridor. He was just about to make a case for moving back to the interior cabin when he noticed Amy was smiling from ear to ear and gleaming at him. "Oh Sheldon, this is best. Thank you so much!" Sheldon gave her a halfhearted grin and gripped his shoulder bag strap tightly as the ferry slowly pulled away from the port.

"Um, Amy… How closely did you work with Brad?"

"Not too close at the beginning. He was an undergrad and needed use of the lab. I guess we got to be better acquainted after that decontamination shower incident. That was crazy…Here he is!" Brad returned and handed Sheldon and Amy champagne flutes filled with orange liquid. Sheldon took the glass roughly and downed the drink in one gulp. He was still processing the image of Amy in a decontamination shower with the Hunk of Asgard when Brad called out to Amy from the railing. "Look Dr. Fowler, dolphins!"

Amy jumped up and handed Sheldon her glass. Watching Amy jump when another man called was almost too much for Sheldon. He downed the other glass of what he thought was orange soda and walked behind Amy. When he approached the railing he placed his hands on Amy's hips to steady himself. He thought he was feeling the ocean currents more. Thankfully for Sheldon, Brad noticed the finished drinks and left quickly to fetch more. Sheldon didn't take his hands off Amy's hips. His chest was against her back and the wind was causing her brown hair to tickle his nose.

Amy took Sheldon's hands and wrapped them around her waist. Sheldon would normally balk at such a display, but he wanted Brad to know under no uncertain terms that Amy was his. Also he enjoyed the warm feeling of her back against him. Amy held onto the railing and watched the large pod of dolphins dance over the waves. Sheldon was focused on her neck instead of the little white caps and pods of Cetaceans. He let out a chuckle.

"What is it, Sheldon?" Amy didn't want to move from this spot. She tipped her head back on his chest and looked up at him. Sheldon smiled and giggled again. "It's like that movie, Titanic. Gross safety violation by the way. I don't see how those two got away with kind of shenanigans. Didn't they have security then?" Sheldon let out a hiccup.

"You watched Titanic, Sheldon?"

Sheldon let out another hiccup, "Yep… Had to, little lady." Sheldon was feeling the boat move even more. His stomach was riding larger waves than the water.

"That's a very romantic movie Sheldon. Not your usual viewing choice."

Sheldon pushed against Amy as the waves became more choppy. Sheldon was sure they were hitting major swells worth of a category 5 storm. "Careful Amy, I don't think Titanic ended well. I don't want you going over the side." He tightly gripped Amy's ribs as he wrapped his arms further around her like coil. He normally wouldn't do such a display of affection, but after all this was for safety.

Amy's face was burning from wind and the crimson blush caused by Sheldon's touch and his hot breath on her ear. Amy turned her head slightly to see Sheldon face as he looked down at her with blue eyes matching the calm sea they were riding. Sheldon was just about to kiss Amy but unfortunately Brad showed back up before Sheldon could finish what he planned. Sheldon turned quickly to the interloper snatched the two glasses out of his hands and downed the drink in seconds flat. He knew exactly how to get rid of Thor's doppelganger.

Sheldon threw down the plastic goblets while announcing loudly, "I like this drink, bring another!" Then he softened and added quickly, "Oh and Oreos!" Sheldon turned back to Amy with a wobbly twirl and felt the world spin.

Brad knew the reference, "Thor, right? That movie was awesome! Be right back!"

"Amy! Look out, the sea is rising like an untempered serpent! Ready to strike at our hearts and bring us down to Davy Jones locker!" Sheldon hiccupped again, "Where is Thor with those orange sodas! Those are tasty!" Sheldon pulled Amy back into his arms and wound himself around her.

"Sheldon! Those aren't orange sodas! How many of those have you had?"

"I donna know, Lass. THOR! Make haste with that drink. Oh Amy, the sea is cruel temptress. Like you." Sheldon lowered his head to Amy's neck and breathed in her scent. "Be careful, fair Fowler." He hiccupped again with a silly voice called out, "It's so wavy!"

"Sheldon! Those are drinks are alcoholic. Sheldon? You don't look so good." Before Amy could get away from a green faced Sheldon, he leant over the railing and threw up over the side of the boat. Unfortunately, he still had Amy pinned on the rails. Just as he got sick, a gust of wind shot his sickness back onto Amy's clothes. Sheldon was shielded from the mess. Amy squeezed her way out of the second volley just as Brad returned with more drinks and cookies.

"Oh dear Dr. Fowler! Are you okay? Is he?" Putting down the drinks, Brad grabbed a towel for Amy

"I'm fine. He didn't know that your orange sodas were alcoholic."

"Oh man I made them extra strong just for you guys. Oh damn, look at your clothes. Dude, this is just like the decontamination shower huh?" Brad let out a chuckle.

At the mention of the shower, Sheldon groaned loudly and vomited for the third time over the side.

Amy answered flatly, "Yeah Brad, exactly like that." Amy tried to clean herself up as best she could. She peeled off her sweater which had taken the brunt of the assault. When she was as clean as she could get without a change of clothes, she went over and checked on Sheldon. She rubbed his back as he continued to get sick for the rest of the short journey.

By the time the Ferry docked, Sheldon had thrown up most of the alcohol before it hit his system, but he was wracked with guilt at his behavior. Every time he looked at Amy's slightly stained clothes he winced with disgust and embarrassment. At the beginning of the gang plank, Sheldon took his bag from Brad and tried to take Amy's to at least make one attempt to salvage his reputation. However the fake Norse God known as Brad had other ideas.

"It's cool Dr. Copper, I got it."

"It's Cooper, and I've got it." Sheldon pulled the bag away from Brad roughly.

"No dude, no biggy, let me help you with it and yours too, bro. They look heavy." Just as he tried to reach for it again, Sheldon snapped at Brad, "I've got it!" The next thing Sheldon saw was Amy's bag in slow motion hurling over the side of the railing into the deep dark water of the bay. He slowly turned his head toward the last thing he wanted to see at that moment: His girlfriend's face.

Amy was crestfallen and let out a whimper before she growled at Sheldon's direction. Sheldon bowed his head and looked away.

Brad came to the rescue, yet again, "Dr. Fowler! No prob. I'll get something and fetch it out for you. Where are you staying? I'll bring it by."

Sheldon mumbled the hotel to Brad and hung his head down while he rushed past his fuming girlfriend. He let out a weak, "sorry," as he found his feet on solid ground again.

The couple walked in silence to the hotel across from the ferry boarding. The hotel had left out one crucial detail from their description: the revolving door. Sheldon tensed up as soon as he saw the circular beast but Amy held his hand, "Come on Sheldon, I'll help you this time."

Amy and Sheldon entered the round chamber but Sheldon kept going around. Eventually Amy had had enough and tried to lead Sheldon to the opening. He hesitated leaving as the door approached but made a narrow escape. Sheldon heard a yelp of pain behind him. Sheldon had escaped, but Amy on the other hand was pinned between the closing door and the threshold. Sheldon dropped his bag and pushed the door with all his strength so Amy could escape. The Bellman rushed over just as Amy pealed her chest off the door, and pointed out another entrance that could be used in the future. Sheldon was thrilled they would not have to use the door again, but Amy just gave a half smile and held her chest in pain. Once in the hotel room, Sheldon thought his nightmare would be over. However, his detailed plans were missing one more detail:

"What do you mean there is only one room?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: A huge thank you to ShAmy4evr for Beta reading my story. She has been catching all my little mistakes and some big ones too! It's been wonderful!**

**ALso a big shout out to Lady Maca for the suggestion for the Romantic Getaway at Catalina Island. I dont know if this will be exactly what she has in mind, but I can say the same for poor SHeldon.**

**I don't know if you all have seen Thor, but the actor has just been voted Sexiest man alive. Poor Sheldon...**

**THanks for all the good vibes coming my way! I am trying to get updates done for you all. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Unconventional Romance Chapter 7**

"Sir, you booked a two room suite! That is what the confirmation says. Look." Sheldon looked down at the receipt and sure enough, it matched the reservation.

"Well, I wanted two rooms that were suites."

"I'm sorry sir, but that's not what we have."

"Well, fix it!"

"It's Valentine's day weekend sir, you were lucky to get that room. And with the convention in town as well, it is the last one we had. I can try the other hotels in the area sir…"

"I can't stay in a different hotel than my girlfriend! That's crazy."

The innkeeper looked at Amy with a confused look. Amy knew what Innkeeper was thinking, "_Why aren't you staying the same room anyway? That's what's crazy._" She came to the innkeeper's aid just in time before Sheldon had a full melt down.

In a commanding tone Amy ordered, "Pull up the room on the screen please." Amy pointed to screen on the innkeeper's computer.

Sheldon was still pouting while the Innkeeper vain attempt to keep the situation light failed, "As a matter of fact your room has a large sitting room area with a large pull out couch. Usually families with children book this room." The innkeeper glared at Sheldon with eyes that screamed, "_I see a child right now_," but Amy's knowing glare kept his tongue civil. "Umm, I can send extra bedding if needed sir. I will throw in a free spa day for the lady for the inconvenience." Amy looked elated, but Sheldon still pouted. "I'm sorry, but it is the last room."

"Sheldon, look! It is a two room suite with doors. No different than before except we share a bath. We can have separate sleeping arrangements. It will be fine! And look a whirl pool tub, no claw foot tub!"

Amy looked up to Sheldon with pleading eyes, "It _**will**_ be fine, you'll see. We will have different bathroom routine schedules so we won't get too familiar with each other, but I really do need a shower now Sheldon. Please?"

Sheldon looked over to Amy's smiling face and slumped his shoulders, "Fine Amy if you think it will be acceptable." The couple made their way towards the elevator to find their room. "I feel like Baby Jesus."

"What?"

"Put up in the barn because the Inn was full. There better not be a whole bunch of cattle in there and three wise guys visiting us in the middle of the night."

"You are not Jesus Sheldon, so get off the cross. Don't worry. Just because I'm a virgin I doubt we will be having an immaculate conception any time soon..." Amy smirked at Sheldon and turned away from him, "Now come on king of kings, before they give the room to someone less whiny." Amy rushed off to the elevator.

The suite was huge; the innkeeper didn't lie. The large seating room had a big screen TV and small refrigerator with a wet bar. The separate bedroom had an overly large king size bed. Sheldon was trying to find the bright side of the weekend and the room helped. Actually, once he saw the room, he thought it might be better after all. He was not thrilled to stay in a room with a claw foot tub, even if he didn't intend to use it. When he saw the large bed, he imagined he and Amy could sleep in the same bed and hardly notice each other; but he pushed the thought out of his mind and headed toward the large window.

"Well, this isn't what I thought, but this isn't bad. I hope you like the view." Sheldon pulled back the curtains to the balcony to reveal a stunning view of the parking lot. This particular suite was the only one without an ocean view. He was crest fallen.

Amy was too busy finding the bathroom to hear Sheldon's sighs. "Sheldon I will look in a little bit, but I really do need take a shower now." Amy quickly stripped off her clothes and jumped into the welcoming shower. She didn't want any smell on her or she feared her mysophobic boyfriend would never touch her again. She heard the door creak open but paid no attention while she washed her hair. A little while later she finally left the shower, however something was missing: Her clothes. Thankfully she found a long hotel robe hanging on the door. The robe was paper thin, and when she put it on, it clung to her every curve. She was nervous to be so exposed in front of Sheldon but the robe covered every inch of her body.

She tip toed out of the shower to find Sheldon examining the bed for bugs. Sheldon turned as soon as he heard her leave the bath. She didn't spend too much time with her hair which was up in a messy bun with loose spindles hanging down framing her face, like in his dream. Her white robe was almost a copy of the dress he dreamed she wore when he kissed her. He gulped as he continued to stare at her chest peeking through the thin fabric that barely covered her hour glass figure. He had to catch his breath.

"Um, Sheldon… Where are my clothes?"

"I sent them to the hotel laundry. They have a facility on site. I told them to take extra care with your sweater."

"Oh, thank you. But Sheldon… I don't have any other clothes to wear now."

Sheldon smiled dropped. He didn't think of that. "Oh boy…"

"When will they be done?"

"Tomorrow…" Sheldon answered meekly.

Amy raised her voice, "Tomorrow!?"

"Night… Maybe Sunday morning…"

Amy screeched at Sheldon, "Sunday morning? What am I supposed to do? Not all my clothes were dirty, Sheldon!"

"I'm sorry!

"Even my bra? My underwear?"

"Um..." Sheldon's face turned a brilliant shade of red as he remembered seeing her leopard printed unmentionables.

"I can't go out like this!" Amy whirled around and her robe flew open slightly revealing her legs. Sheldon blinked rapidly as he tried to come up with a solution while lacking the necessary oxygen for cognitive processing. He couldn't stop staring at her.

"Umm. I'm sorry! I … I'll go buy you clothes! Right now! I'm sure they have something on this island!"

"Sheldon wait!" Amy called after him, but he was too quick. He rushed out of the room before he had to view anymore of her legs or her exposed neck. He raced down the hall to the elevator and ran to the same smug innkeeper for directions.

"I need some women's clothes! Including like bras and other girly things!"

"Um… For you or…?" The innkeeper smirked at Sheldon.

"What? Of course not for me!"

"Okay, well…. There is a shop down the street. But they close for the weekend in an hour and half so you better hurry!" Sheldon rushed out of the hotel toward the shop. It was a small boutique that carried all sorts of clothes that Penny would love. However, for the refined taste of Amy Farrah Fowler it was not quite up to snuff. Sheldon looked around the racks of skimpy clothes desperate to find something conservative that Amy would like. The shop girl finally got off her cell phone and sauntered over to a frantic Sheldon.

She snapped her gum and asked, "Can I, like, help or something...?"

"Yes…" Sheldon looked down at the shop keeper's chest and tilted his head, "How large are your breasts?

"Excuse me?" The young girl snapped at Sheldon and cocked her head.

Sheldon continued to study the woman's chest while holding up his hands as a measuring tool, "Well, they look about right."

"Security!"

About an hour and 45 minutes later and a call to security from Leonard explaining that Sheldon wasn't crazy, Sheldon returned to the hotel with all sorts of pink girly bags in hand. As he was finding his key in this wallet, he heard low laughter from the room, then the distinct sound of one unwelcome Asguardian prince alone with his half naked girlfriend. Sheldon swung open the door to find Amy and Brad sitting on the couch drinking tea.

"Amy! What is he doing here?"

"He brought my bag, Sheldon! The local fisherman hooked it out of the bay! Isn't it wonderful?"

Sheldon answered flatly while glaring at Brad, "Marvelous." He brought over his bags to Amy and shoved them on her lap to cover her body, "Here, I got you some clothes. Could you please put them on.? Like now… Like right now…."

Sheldon turned to Brad and pointed to his seat, "You're in my spot." Brad was confused and looked to Amy for clarification.

Amy looked seriously at Brad, "I would move if I were you."

Brad rose off the couch and sat on the floor.

Amy turned her attention to the large number of bags Sheldon had shoved on her lap. Amy was thrilled, "Oh my god, Sheldon! You got all of this for me?"

"Yes… Please go on now, see if it fits." Sheldon's voice was lower and he had distinct drawl that made Amy flutter.

"Oh sure! Of course!" Amy grabbed all the bags and rose from the couch. Sheldon rose with her and walked her to the bedroom.

"Get dressed in there, I'll man the door." Sheldon walked her to the bedroom door and stood with arms crossed in front of the door as he glared at Brad.

Brad moved back to the couch but one glower from Sheldon and Brad moved to where Amy had been seated. He plopped his feet on the coffee table and sprawled his bulging arms across the back of couch, "So, Dr. Copper, I mean Cooper… Ha! Funny I can't get the right, huh?"

"Hysterical."

"You're a physicist right? Wow, I mean I thought Neurology was hard, but that's insane, dude."

"It's not insane. In fact it makes perfect sense. It explains everything. But I guess when you are busy poking around dead squishy fishy things, like in the field of marine biology, the inner workings of the universe are too complex to grasp."

Brad wasn't dumb; he knew when he was being insulted, "Hey, bro! I can understand it! Anyway, Dr. Fowler is in biology too, man."

"She is the exception to every rule. She is brilliant enough to understand physics and things at…. Your level." Sheldon called back to Amy, "How's it going in there?"

"Um, Sheldon…I don't think this is… I mean… the size is all wrong."

"Oh good lord, how bad could it be. Are you being picky, woman?" Sheldon opened the door to find Amy wearing one of the outfits he picked out for her. It was an A line beige skirt with flowered blouse and cardigan; just like what Amy wore almost every day. The problem was it was two sizes too small and very revealing. The skirt hugged her hips so tight it looked painted on. When she bent over slightly, he could see the hem of the thigh high tights he bought her. They were the only ones the shop had. The blouse fit, but it was low cut and revealed the grey bra Sheldon had found. The cardigan covered the blouse, but it was so thin, Sheldon could see the hard tips of her nipples through the fabric.

Sheldon gulped, "Oh my! I see what you mean."

"Sheldon, I appreciate it. It is so much like my wardrobe, but…."

"It's like your normal outfit got a skanky Penny make over!"

"Exactly!" Amy covered her chest and tried to pull the skirt from her rounded hips to cover her thigh high stockings, but it was no use. The outfit was too form fitting.

From the other room, Brad called out, "Let me see, Dr Fowler!"

Both Sheldon and Amy screamed in unison, "No!" Amy covered herself quickly as she saw Sheldon blinking rapidly just looking at her.

Amy sat on the bed, knock kneed and defeated. She renewed her hatred for her body. "Oh Sheldon I'm so sorry. I'm too big for these clothes." Sheldon was too busy admiring her figure to take heed of her low esteem.

"You're not too big, you're too curvy. They must be for skinny adolescent girls with no real womanly curves like you have. It's like trying to dress a violin in a piccolo's clothes. Sorry Amy, I knew that shop girl was too young to help me!"

Amy face lit up with a wide smile, "I'll try the others on, Sheldon. I'm sure something will fit."

"Amy it's all the same. I bought the same outfit but different styles. I'm sorry…"

"Oh well, just go exchange them for a new size!"

"They're closed Amy. I can't."

"Oh…. "I guess I'll have to wear this then." Amy moved to the door, but Sheldon held up his hand and shook his head.

"Um.. No… no you're not!" You're not going anywhere like that!"

"Sheldon! What am I supposed to do? I sent my clothes from the suit case down to laundry like you did. Sunday! Sunday is when it will be done! I can't spend the entire weekend in a robe!"

"Well little lady, you're not going out like that! We will just camp here till it's all done."

"What about Valentine's day dinner?"

Sheldon shoulders drooped but he answered with a commanding tone, "We'll order in."

"And all those things you planned?"

Sheldon slumped down further, "We'll figure it out. There is no way I would let you out of this hotel room looking like that. I know you, Amy. You respect yourself too much for that and would hate all those eyes gawking at you! No way."

Amy smiled and uncrossed her arms. "Okay Sheldon. The room it is. A bit of good news.. All your choices for the bra and underwear where spot on correct!"

Sheldon blushed, and swallowed, "Oh.. um.. good..I will go check on Brad, you um…" Sheldon looked at Amy up and down again noticing the grey satin bra he picked out again, "Um, you stay in here…" Sheldon rushed out of the room to find a smiling Brad sitting on the couch.

"Smooth moves, bro! Getting the bra right! You knew just the right size!" Brad winked at Sheldon with the same lurid looks that Wolowitz would give women. Sheldon just glared at him.

Sheldon moved to the hotel door and held it for the unwelcome visitor, "Brad, I think it is time for you to leave. Dr. Fowler needs a rest after the day."

"Sure man, tell Dr. Fowler I'll check on her tomorrow, kay?"

"Try Sunday… Around 6 PM." Sheldon shuffled Brad to the door and closed it while he was giving his last good bye. Sheldon leaned against the door and let out a huge sigh. While he waited for Amy to come out the bedroom, he walked over the balcony and noticed the rest of Amy's suit case contents drying in the late afternoon sun. He smiled when he saw the box set of Counter Factuals and the soggy Scrabble game. He looked out over the view of the parking lot and gray sky and let out a staggered sigh.

Amy came up behind him and lightly tapped his slumped shoulder. "I'm sorry the weekend isn't turning out like you planned Sheldon."

He forced a return smile to Amy. Sheldon Cooper never admits defeat. He still had a few arrows in his quiver of tricks. Before the weekend was over he was going to convince Amy he was a romance god. He would be enough of romance god to make up for all the minor difficulties that had been thrown across his path on his quest to keep the heart of Amy Farrah Fowler. He thought, Sheldon Cooper would become such a romance god that he could defeat the advances of Thor himself!

Just as Sheldon was clenching his fist in defiance he thought he heard Thor's thunder clap. In reality, it was a real thunder clap. Rain started pouring over the balcony. Sheldon and Amy rushed to get all her things inside before they got wet again. When they were done, Amy and Sheldon were drenched. Amy was laughing at the situation as she laid out her belongings on towels strewn on the floor. Sheldon couldn't help but notice her thin robe had turned into a gossamer thin veil covering her body except for his new purchase of lingerie.

One of the things all the romance research suggested was getting your girlfriend lingerie. Sheldon thought it was too personal and dismissed, however, the happenstance of the suitcase had forced his hand. He had looked all over the shop for her favorite colors, dismissing traditional red and lacy black. He was very pleased she had picked the one he thought she would like the best as the first one to put on. It was an odd feeling knowing exactly what she was wearing underneath that robe. He gulped again as he watched her move through the room with her dark grey undergarments and thigh high black hosery.

Amy finished placing the items on the towels and stood up to find Sheldon eyes glazed over her body. He focused on a strange red mark on her chest peeking through the robe. Sheldon slowly reached up to the seam of the robe and pulled it gently to the side to reveal her cleavage further. Amy held her breath as she watched Sheldon's eyes grow wide as dinner plates.

"Amy what is that? IS THAT A HICKEY?"


	8. Chapter 8

**Unconventional Romance Chapter 8**

"What?! A Hickey? NO!" Amy pulled open her robe and saw what caused Sheldon's concern. A large red bruise was forming down the side of Amy's chest. The gray bra was hiding some of the abrasion.

"Well, what does it look like to you then, missy?" Sheldon was still fuming while he remembered Brad on the couch with Amy. He didn't think he'd been gone for that long and he couldn't wrap his head around the notion that Amy would cheat on him. He was utterly curfudled.

Amy turned away from Sheldon's gawking and pulled her bra back slightly, "A bruise. Oh, it's from the revolving door!" As soon as Amy said it, Sheldon's whole demeanor changed. He remembered her grasping her chest in pain. Guilt surged through him as he tried to think what he could do.

"Oh god, that's right! Okay Amy. Sit back on the couch. I'll be right back." Sheldon grabbed the ice bucket and rushed to the door. He looked back at his confused girlfriend and ordered, "Oh, and take off your bra."

Amy called back to him, "Sheldon, wait!" but it was too late; he was off like a jack rabbit determined to cure his girlfriend who literally threw her body in harms way to save him. He had to redeem his honor, as any good Texan would do.

Sheldon rushed down to the lobby to the unhelpful innkeeper who rolled his eyes, "Oh you again, any luck with your bra shopping?"

Sheldon had no time for pleasantries, "Yes, I got all the bras I need and they all fit. Now, I need Arnica montana or Arnica chamissonis."

"Huh? Now you want to buy a chemise? What the heck is that, some underwear thing? Wasn't the bra enough for you?"

"NO! Not chemise, chamissonis." Sheldon glared at the vacant stare he was so used to seeing, "Good god man, FLOWERS! They look like daisies. Or Aloe Vera. Aloe Vera is fine."

"Well, we have some growing outside, but the gardener will have a fit if you pick any his stuff. He is very protective of it."

"I need to smear it on my girlfriend's chest."

"Listen pal, we have all kinds of essential oils that could be used as erotic massage over there in the spa area, but that kinda stuff is not really…"

"Erotic? No! She has a bruise on her breast because of me."

"Playing a little rough, I see. Alrighty then! Listen, you guys need to keep your sex games to a dull roar. I know its Valentine's Day, but still…"

Sheldon just shook his head and walked away toward the damp outside; he was careful not to use the revolving door. In the pouring rain he looked around for the plants he needed. Finally he spotted what he thought was an Aloe Vera plant. Just as he was about to pull the plant out, a large Latino man with a shovel and a scowl appeared behind him and tapped him on the shoulder.

Sheldon heard a husky voice behind him, "Que paso, flaco?" The large man's dark eyes bore into Sheldon. His wide brimmed hat cast a dark shadow over his face, which matched his demeanor.

Sheldon tried his broken Spanish, but between his Texan drawl and his butchering of the language, the man's face scrunched up like he ate a sour berry.

"Perdo me, sen-or. To hardin es mucho Bueno. Quero Aleo Vera.

"Dude, that is like the worst Spanish ever. Are you trying to say, Pardona me, senor, tu jardin es muy bien. Yo quiero Aloe Vera?" The large man dripped Spanish off his tongue like caramel flowing down flan.

"That's what I said!"

"Dude I don't know what you said, but that wasn't it. Also, that's not Aloe Vera. That's poisonous man."

Sheldon pulled his hands away quickly. The rain had completely drenched him and he was at his breaking point. The gardener had pity for the desperate man before him. "You got a sun burn?" He looked up at the sky, "I don't see how given the weather and your ghost white skin, bro."

"My girlfriend's got a bruise on her chest because of me and I want to fix it. I need a flower that looks like a daisy."

"Man, starting the kinky sex games early, huh papi?" The large man slapped Sheldon on his back and smiled widely.

"No! I need Arnica. You wouldn't understand…" Sheldon looked away.

"Oh, you want Arnica montana or chamissonis."

A large grin bloomed across Sheldon's face, "Exactly! They contain helenalin!"

The gardener smirked and leaned on his shovel, "Yes I know… a sesquiterpene lactone."

Sheldon smiled widely, "It is so refreshing not having to explain myself."

"Oh no bro, you still need to do that man. You're not going to stomp through my garden on a tangent. Come over here. I know what you need."

Sheldon followed him through the garden to a shady area after proper introductions; while he explained the perils of the revolving door and the cause of his girlfriend's injury. He also told him why he wanted to have a romantic weekend with Amy and how he so desperate to prove his worth. Sheldon was frantically looking for flowers that would help. He stopped at the first yellow flower he saw.

"No man. You don't want that." He found the species of plant Sheldon was seeking and also some Aloe Vera. The man pulled out a knife and cut off four spikes of the plant. He handed them to Sheldon who was shivering. "Here you go and be careful with your lady, papi.."

"Thank you Javier, I couldn't have found this without you. How do you know so much about plants?"

"I'm a gardener man. Also I'm working on my graduate thesis on native plants of Catalina. Don't judge a book by its cover, bro. Now keep away from that door and don't try so hard. Okay, Sheldon?"

Sheldon rushed off, "Thank you!" He ran back in the hotel and hurried up stairs. He grabbed some ice from the machine and entered the hotel room to find Amy was waiting on the couch. She jumped up when she saw Sheldon's state.

"Sheldon! Oh my god! You're soaked." Amy got a few towels and started patting Sheldon dry. She sat him down on the couch and moved close to him wrapping a towel around his shoulders. The action made her chest brush up against Sheldon's face. He could handle that he thought, but what was more difficult was her rubbing his hair while practically on his lap. Sheldon grabbed the towel and pulled it down. "It's fine Amy. Now. I need to see your bruise."

"Oh, don't worry, I looked at it, it's okay." She rushed to get more towels, but Sheldon stopped her.

"Oh really?" Sheldon pushed slightly on Amy's chest and she let out a yelp. "Thought so" Sheldon stood and exchanged places with Amy.

"Lay back Amy and be a responsible patient for once."

"But Shel…"

"Shh.." Sheldon used both hands and gently pushed her on her back on the couch. He pulled the robe slightly open to survey the damage. "Stay there." He retrieved two hand towels from the back room and the hair dryer. He smashed the flowers up with the Aloe Vera into a makeshift salve then came back with his tools ready cure his uncooperative patient. He also plugged in the air dryer, which completely confused Amy, but she knew better than to question him when he was in full- caretaker mode.

"Amy, first I am going to put some Arnica and Aloe on you, okay?"

"But…" Amy looked at Sheldon's wide determined eyes that screamed _don't test me_. She relaxed and answered softly, "Okay."

Amy shifted the robe to the side just enough to show the bruise but not enough to expose her whole chest. Sheldon squeezed the plant's juices out on his finger tips and lightly rubbed it on the bruise. Amy bit her lip as she watched him concentrate on her chest. He had done this before and the action had driven her wild then, as well.

"Sheldon… I… How.. "

Sheldon smiled at his normal articulate girlfriend, "What is it, Amy?"

"Why would you think this was a hickey?"

Sheldon gulped and avoiding his dance with the green-eyed monster of jealousy, "Um.. well, it looks like one. Duh!"

"I thought you didn't know what a hickey was.."

Sheldon cleared his throat, "Well. Um.. lately with some of the stuff I've been researching, it's come up."

"What have you been researching lately?"

Sheldon blinked rapidly, "Black holes." He continued to smear the concoction over her breast. It was soaking in her soft skin with each pass.

Amy was so lost, "I don't get it...What do hickeys and black holes have in common?"

Sheldon thought quickly, "They both suck."

"You were funny on purpose again Sheldon. You're getting great at telling jokes!" Amy giggled, "Have you been playing Words with Friends again with Stephen Hawking?"

Sheldon bit his lip, "Yes, that's it." He returned his focus to her chest. While they were talking, he didn't notice he had smeared the gooey liquid over much of her breast and had moved the robe exposing part of her stomach. His fingertips dipped underneath the fabric and glided against Amy's nipple. Amy drew in a quick breath and watched his eyes. He seemed fascinated by the texture changes. Sheldon did it again, slightly slower this time. His fingers lightly slid over the curves of her breast well beyond the reddened area. Amy's breath was staggered and she held onto her robe tie for strength while she watched his eyes darken.

Sheldon could feel her pulse rise with every stroke. He was lost in his own actions till he heard Amy's ragged breath. He swallowed deeply and removed his hand. Wanting to change the intensity of the situation quickly, he reached for the ice and without warning, placed a few cubes that were wrapped in a towel on her chest. Amy lurched back.

"That's cold. "

"I know, it can't be helped. Cold compress is the best for bruises." He saw his plant based concoction run between her breast and down her stomach. He used the clean wash cloth to wipe if off, but this action only resulted in his hands again encountering the feel of Amy's breast underneath the thin terry cloth fabric. Sheldon's breath had become rapid and his mouth was dry. He didn't remember being this distracted when he put vabo rub on her before. Of course, during that medical crisis, he never touched her breasts, just her upper chest.

The ice was melting through the cloth making her robe transparent and Sheldon could see her nipples harden with the cold causing an even bigger distraction. Sheldon thought he had the solution. He leaned over and pulled in the hair dryer. Before Amy could protest, he turned it on and pointed at her chest which blew the robe open exposing her whole chest. Sheldon jaw dropped.

"Sheldon! It wasn't that cold!" Amy sat up and pulled her robe over her chest. Her face was crimson, but not as red as Sheldon's.

"I'm sorry, it was on high. It was just supposed to alleviate the chill." He hung his head down. "I'm sorry."

Amy smiled and reached for Sheldon hand, "It's fine Sheldon. I think the Aloe was working. Why don't we just let it be for a while okay?

"Okay.." Sheldon shoulders slumped, "I'm so sorry you got hurt, Amy. It's all my fault."

"Please don't worry…" Amy leaned down so her face could catch Sheldon's crestfallen grimace, "Hey… guess what?'

"What?" Sheldon was barely audible.

"I ordered us room service! It's Friday, so they have a special. And ... It's Chinese."

"Really? Chinese?" Sheldon perked up.

"Yes. And… I found your favorite low sodium soy sauce in packets. They're in my purse, just in case."

"Really Amy?" His shiny blue eyes were glowing.

"And… I ordered you a chocolate shake as well."

"Oh that's sounds great. God, I'm starving Amy." Sheldon helped her off the couch by reaching around her back and pulling her up. She winced slightly, but enough for Sheldon to notice.

"Amy did you hurt your back as well?"

"I don't think so. I am just sore. Please don't worry." She looked at his eyes which told her that he wasn't going to let it go.

"Come on Amy, let me look."

"Fine Dr. Cooper." Amy turned around and let her robe slide off her shoulders exposing her shoulder. He pulled on it further to see more of her back. Sheldon drew in a quick breath as the robe pooled around her hips revealing her hour glass figure. After he caught his gasp, he moved his face closer to her back to inspect her skin. His fingers traced the curve of her shoulder blade to one small red patch near her rib. Amy was quivering with his touch.

"You have a small bruise here, but nothing like the front."

"Well maybe I just need a kiss to make it better. You know, under the new boo boo's and ouchies clause of the agreement?" Amy looked over her shoulder at Sheldon and smiled. He had never kissed her anywhere but on her mouth before and the idea shocked and intrigued him. He lent down and placed a small kiss on her shoulder blade. Then he pulled up her robe while Amy covered her shoulders again.

"I should've asked that for the front too!" Surprised, Amy looked over her shoulder and smiled, but Sheldon's face was ashen. She quickly back peddled and tried to pull the words back. "Oh Sheldon, I was just teasing. The kiss on my back was enough."

Sheldon heard that word again: Enough. She was settling again. He didn't want to be the kind of man she settled for, ever. He swiftly pulled her back on the couch so she was lying prone with Sheldon hovering over her. The action seemed to scare Amy so Sheldon slowed his response. He opened her robe slightly and put his arms on either side of her body while he kept his eyes locked on hers. He took a deep inhale of her aroma before he lent down toward her chest to draw in more of her scent. When he was with an inch of her skin and feeling her body heat, he tilted his head toward her body and placed a soft kiss on her bruise.

He was allowed to kiss under the new clause of the agreement. Never one to let an opportunity pass him by, he decided to finish his kiss on her mouth. He let the tip of his nose rub softly over her soft skin before he pulled away to look at her. Amy was dumbstruck; her breath stolen by his erotic actions, but she couldn't look away from his intense stare. She gasped softly as he moved his mouth up her chest to clavicle and neck. He didn't touch her, except his nose led the trail slowly up to her face. His lips were so close to her skin she could feel his hot breath. He slowly moved to her jaw and toward her mouth. Amy had but a second to take in a short breath before he pressed his lips against hers.

Amy placed her hands on his biceps and felt him flex as he moved closer to her. The kiss was more of series of soft slow kisses rather than one long kiss. With every third kiss, he shifted his head and intensified the pressure and duration. By the ninth kiss their lips were parted and Sheldon's tongue was dancing across Amy's mouth. He molded his mouth around her, tasting every surface. He slowed his kiss and ran his bottom lip over hers before diving into her mouth again. His hands had moved up her neck, pulling her slightly off the couch as she arched her back to him.

Amy felt as if she had moved dimensions. Time seemed irrelevant. She absorbed every tactile sensation and completely concentrated on the kiss that made their last kiss seem like amateur hour. She was just about wrap her arms around Sheldon's neck and pull him into her, when the loud knock at the door jarred Sheldon so completely, he dead dropped Amy on the couch. Her head bounced off the hard couch arm and she let out a yelp. Sheldon jumped off the couch and looked confused. Amy held her head with one hand, her robe with the other, and looked toward the door with eyes of earnest. "Sheldon, room service!"

"Oh, right. Sure..." Sheldon opened the door to find an overly happy short man with a tray of food in his hand. He didn't wait for an invitation but instead barged in, quickly placed the tray, pushed a receipt in Sheldon's hand and rushed off. Amy would have been embarrassed that the man had seen her in her robe, but he didn't even give her a second glance.

After the bellman left the room, Sheldon timidly sat on the couch next to Amy. She was still shocked by the kiss, but starving. To try to help Sheldon feel less uncomfortable, she started dishing out the food. "God, aren't you starving? We didn't have lunch! No wonder we are famished."

Sheldon relaxed slightly, "Yes, I am hungrier than spring bear."

"Well here you go, Yogi. Oh! Let me get the low sodium soy sauce!" Amy bought her purse from behind the couch and found the soy sauce packets.

"Thank you Amy! I had no idea they did these in packets."

"Well I knew they were Korean, so I asked a colleague at work who was Korean. She said there was this grocery in Alhambra that sold them. So, I got them last week. Now you can always have your soy sauce even when you are away from home." Amy beamed at Sheldon while she dished out her food. He didn't know what to say to her kind gesture.

He just felt warm and content as he watched her eat. He had the same feeling when he opened up the box of Christmas cookies she baked him. They felt like Meamaw's hugs, but, by the time he finished the box of cookies, they felt like Amy's. This gesture caused the same reaction and he completely relaxed. Their conversation quickly turned toward Korean politics, then the flag of Korea, then cabbage, then sauerkraut, then sour patch kid candy; the topics were popping up like popcorn.

"Oh, Look! Egg rolls! I love egg rolls."

"You know, Egg rolls were originated in New York, in the 1930's in an attempt to appeal to a western palate. Traditional egg rolls are made with egg and vegetables. What we are eating would be called a spring roll. There are a lot of versions on egg rolls. Some fill them with pork or chicken. There are even dessert ones now."

"This one tastes weird. I am not sure it appeals to my western palate." Amy put the egg roll on her plate and pushed it away. She took a drink of water and slightly choked on the liquid. Sheldon looked down at her his half eaten egg roll and noticed something off. It had avocado in it.

"Amy! It has avocados! Oh god, we have to rush you to hospital. Where is your epi pen! Can you breathe?" Sheldon rushed to purse and dumped the whole contents on the floor. He reached for her epi pen just as Amy snatched it out from his reach with her incredible reflexes.

She snapped at him in a commanding tone, "No epi pen! I just had a bite. I just need some Benadryl. Look it fell over there." Sheldon grabbed the package, popped out 4 pills and practically force feed them down Amy's throat. He pushed back her neck and put the glass of water to her lips forcing the pills down her throat. He sunk on his knees watching her breathe as he held his own breath.

Amy was still in shock over the action. She sat up on the couch and leaned back with her arm over her eyes. "Sheldon, you'll be the death of me."

"Quite the opposite my little lump of wool. Quite the opposite." Sheldon returned Amy's smile and rose to sit next to her on the couch. Their shoulders were touching slightly and Sheldon could feel her sway a little. He thought the least he could do was let her cuddle with him since she loved it so much. Also, she was officially sick with avocado, so it was a sanctioned contact per relationship agreement guidelines. To her delight, he held out his arms and let her sink in his chest.

"Thank you for this Sheldon. This is the best." The couple sat quietly together mingling their warmth for at least 15 minutes. Sheldon placed his hand on her hand and the other on her shoulder holding her close to his chest.

Amy yawned, "Who ever heard of avocado egg rolls? What fusion cuisine hell have we found ourselves in, Sheldon?"'

"I don't know, but I intend to find out. It's like that terrible Asian fusion restaurant I took you to when you lied to be about going out with Bernadette."

"Yeah, thanks for that, Sheldon!" The sarcasm was lost on Sheldon. "Well, I guess I deserved it for lying to you."

"You did. I don't know what was worse, the spanking I gave you or the dinner."

Amy smirked remembering their spanking episode, "The dinner, definitely."

"Right now you just lie here. The Benadryl's will make you sleepy I wager."

"Well, one pill won't put me out." Amy wrapped her arms around Sheldon's body further and nestled into his shoulder. She imagined herself drifting on a talc pillows a land of bliss.

"I gave you four."

"FOUR! I'll be out for weeks!"

"Oh now don't exaggerate. I mean, come on. There is no way… Amy? Amy….?" Amy was breathing heavy in his chest. She was out.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I had to up the rating here, folks. I think all this talk of nipples and the like would garner a Rated M. Also... It's Valentines day! **

**Big**** thank you to ShAmy4evr for Beta reading all my scribbles. She tries to catch them all, but there are so many! It's been a thrill to have another set of eyes. **

**You**** guys have been so nice with all your reviews and support. It's wonderful, really. You guys know I am a review junkie. Just love them. I also love all the follows I get as well. I can't write back those as easily, so I will say thank you here for following this story. Chapter 9 very soon. I have a few chapters in the bank. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Unconventional Romance Chapter 9**

Sheldon sat on the couch with Amy in his arms while he plotted his next move. He had to get her to bed, but she was sleeping so soundly there was no way he could wake her so that she could make her own way there without risking a collapse. He could just let her sleep on the couch, but he hadn't checked it for bed bugs and he couldn't risk her sleeping there. He briefly remembered her words, "All Snow White needs is one little kiss to wake up…"

He was so glad he didn't kiss her then. If he had, he would rewarding bad behaviour of dressing up with far too much war paint for his taste. Although, her lips did look non-slippery at the moment. He put it out his mind to kiss her and instead planned his path to the bedroom. He hooked his arm around her waist and legs and hoisted her off the couch. He easily navigated through the maze of purse contents on the floor to the bedroom and gently placed her on the bed. He thought about taking off her robe, but he knew she wouldn't want to sleep naked. He carefully pulled back the covers and tucked her in. One soft kiss on her forehead was all he allowed himself. Her sleepy smile rewarded him.

He went to the sitting area to clean up the carnage from his freak out. As he gathered all her things, two items stood out. One was a folded piece of paper that looked like it had been handled many times. The fold line had almost torn through the document. Sheldon opened it and read the contents. It was the printout from the dating site Raj and Howard had used to find Amy for him. The paper told her where to meet her match: Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper with a small bio and picture. She had written his contact information from the first time they met.

He also found a picture tucked into the folds. It was a wallet size picture from Prom. Sheldon didn't have a copy of the photo; he had given her the only one. She must have had a wallet one made and never told him. He took the picture and placing it in his wallet, sat back on the couch thinking of that night after they left his apartment for the Prom:

"_Sheldon that had better not be Rum!" Amy was looking around the roof to see if any of their friends noticed Sheldon dumping a whole flask of an unknown substance in the punch bowl. "Sheldon, this is my first prom with a date and even though there were no chaperones I don't want to be kicked out before it starts."_

"_SHH! Its pomegranate juice but they don't know that! Well, Leonard does. But still…. Shh!"_

_Amy whispered loudly, "Oh good, I've already had two glasses of the stuff, it needs a little something!" Sheldon raised his eyes brows at her with a devilish smirk. "What do you think of dating the bad boy Amy?"_

"_It's pretty hot Sheldon." Sheldon noticed that Amy ogled his appealing posterior as he bent over the drinks table. "And you were right about those tux pants._

_Sheldon stood up quickly and turned around to face Amy cheeky grin, "Alright Ms. Fowler, no more punch!" _

"_Fine, I want my slow dance anyway! Let's go." The song, The Search is Over by Survivor was playing over the speakers. All the couples were on the floor lost in each other's eyes and conversations. Sheldon put his palms on her hips and wrapped his fingers around the small of her back. _

"_Wait! When do we get to the Prom King and Queen?" Sheldon looked around for a crown he felt he was due. _

"_Well, I don't think we are going to elect any Prom King and Queen. Besides it would be tough competition with Leonard and Penny."_

"_Oh there is no way I would lose to Leonard."_

"_Well, I would lose to Penny. So unless you want to be Prom King with Penny, I would suggest you…"_

"_Why would you lose to Penny? Clearly you're the smartest here."_

"_I think it's based on looks, not intelligence."_

"_Well, no contest there either."_

_Amy felt the air leave her lungs again and she tried to draw in a breath, "Really?"_

_Sheldon held out both her hands as his eyes roamed over her pale blue dress. "Of course Amy, I already told you were pretty. Pretty enough to give me a panic attack. Additionally, look around you. You had the good sense to choose a color to match the theme and not another red dress. I mean really, don't you women coordinate everything? Why are Penny AND Emily both wearing red?"_

"_Don't be catty Sheldon."_

"_Anyway, everyone knows we are the best couple. There is no way we could lose. Besides Amy…" Sheldon held her hips and rocked to the slow music that had started to play. Amy put her arms on his shoulders and moved closer to him._

_She looked up at his smiling blue eyes and asked, "What?"_

"_You'll always be my queen." _

_Before Amy could melt into a puddle on the floor Sheldon quickly added, "Now, we need to determine the strategy for our reign. As future benevolent overlords, we need maintain the illusion that we respect our subjects, yet not so much that they get out of line. We need to crush independent thought that will lead to revolution. That's what the problem was the 1789. Not enough discipline to keep the peasants in check..."_

_Amy smirked and whispered to Sheldon, "With this lot, I think being benevolent will be a challenge. But more importantly Sheldon, I hate to tell you this, but being Prom King and Queen doesn't mean we get to rule anything. In fact, I think all we get is a crown and a tiara. But we do get to lord it over our friends."_

"_Drats. Well, you have a tiara."_

"_Yes, the most beautiful one I could have ever received. So I'm good. But if you want that crown, say the word Sheldon. Thy will be done." Amy cracked her knuckles and glared at the rest of the group. _

_Sheldon smirked at her hands and pulled her closer to dance. "Well I do love lording my superiority over people. But after, do I get tell them they are all suckers for electing us? Electing a King and Queen! Who ever heard of a democratically elected King?"_

_Amy raised her brow at Sheldon telling him he wouldn't get away with anything, "Democratically elected King? Holy Roman Empire, Macedon, the list goes on."_

"_Keep that little fact to yourself Ms. Smarty pants. Now, what else do we do for Prom?" The song had ended and the couple moved to one of the tables to watch the others dance. _

"_Well I think you have it covered: Spiking the punch, making catty remarks on the other girl's dresses and plotting our inevitable royal reign. No more obligations! Just relax now. No pressure." When she told him no pressure, Amy reached over and squeezed his hand briefly before letting it go. Sheldon acknowledge her nonverbal reassurance with a smile. Amy beamed and turned her head to watch the crowd frolic to the melodious sound of the 'Bare Naked Ladies." Sheldon's eyes were however still fixed on her. _

_His gaze absorbed every feature as if it was his first time seeing her. He memorized her green eyes dazzling like cut emeralds; just like when she watched old French movies. Her curled brown locks cascading down her pale neck. It was almost like a spinner wood frame for her exposed pale chest. Her dress was extremely tight by Amy's standards; more than he had ever seen on her before. Additionally, it was also low cut and revealed her once hidden cleavage. _

_Earlier he wished he had just told her he was having a panic attack because she was so pretty? He had felt an enormous amount of pressure from all his friends to spend the evening with Amy. It was a chorus in his head telling him give in and make love to Amy. If he was honest with himself, the loudest voice was his own. _

_After he told her that he loved her too, she had her own panic attack. When she had bounced into his room during her own panic attack, he couldn't help but focus on her chest when she bent over with her hands on his bed. It was like she was taunting him with her body. She had been in his room before; many times in fact, and he never had a problem then but at that moment when she looked at him confused and bent across his bed it had quickly resulted in a growing problem in his so called "alluring" tuxedo pants. She didn't fight him or mock about it when he told her to leave the room. She did what made him comfortable. _

Looking at her sleeping now reminded him of that night of Prom. She was always making him feel better and more comfortable in his own skin. Since that night, her demeanour with him had relaxed. She was less nervous during their dates, she didn't remind him for the date night kiss. Truth was, she hardly needed to, Sheldon remembered on his own, every date.

His Christmas gift to her was a huge hit and he rode the wave of her appreciation for weeks. He found himself thinking of her often; her smile, what she would like, what she was thinking. Every text from her reminded him of her lips as he imagined her whispering every word. It was a distraction, but one he welcomed. Every time he thought of her, he felt warm waves of comfort and relief flood him. She didn't pressure him for coitus anymore; it was like she had given up completely. He mentioned it again at the end of prom, testing to see if she still was hoping. She told him not to worry about it and she had the best time. He gave her a tender kiss at end of the evening, even though it wasn't a date night. He reasoned it was sanctioned because of prom. Her eyes told him he did something right. She told him they didn't need coitus, but it was his own insecurities drowning out her voice of reason_. _

He readied himself for bed with his quicken routine. He had to make sure she was safe sleeping with all that medicine coursing through her system. After the long exhausting day he would fall asleep as soon as his face hit the pillow. However, he looked over at the sleeper couch and cringed. Hotel beds were bad enough, but sleeper couches in a room normally reserved for families with children? Potty accidents and thoughts of all sorts of childish germs caused him to shutter.

He looked at the enormous bed with his comatose girlfriend. She was curled up on the side of the bed, out like a light. Sheldon never moved when he slept, and Amy would never cross the line. Besides, he thought, she was so hopped up on Benadryl, she couldn't make a move on him even she wanted to. There was no way in a bed this size they would even touch each other

He took a deep breath and slipped into the other side of the bed. He looked over at her brown locks still tied up in a bun. His droopy eyes drifted down the curve of her side. He didn't want to cover his eyes with his sleeping mask that night. He was worried that maybe he had given her too much medication and he wanted to see her as much as he could before he slept, so he lay down on his side and watched her body move slightly up and down with the gentle rhythm of sleep. Soon he matched her cadence, and within a minute he was out.

His strange dream seemed more like a premonition than a dream. He was imagining what it would be like to make love to Amy. He was kissing her and suddenly her blouse blew open. Sheldon nuzzled in her chest and continued to kiss her in places he never thought he ever could. Just as he was about to go further, he was paralyzed. He couldn't move a muscle. Dream Amy looked confused. She poked at his face, but he couldn't respond. He next found himself in his spot on the couch at home. He was still frozen. The world around him was whizzing by at warp speed but he was stationary, unable to interact with his surroundings or affect them in any way. He was powerless. Everyone else ignored him, treated him like part of the furniture. Finally Amy placed her hand on his, and he was able to move his head. Her actions were slow and soon it was all he could focus upon. She placed a light kiss on his cheek and the rubbed the mark. Each of her actions caused his muscles to move. His emotional and physical atrophy was cured, but only through her actions. She was his link to the world. He wanted the dream to last forever, but reality was seeping in:

Next thing he heard was Amy's voice. It seemed to be in a muffled chamber.

"Sheldon. Are you awake?'

Sheldon muttered and curled back up with his pillow, "Mmm. I don't want to get up yet. It's a vacation. More sleeping. Shhh." He was still exhausted from his strange tasting orange soda called mimosas and the hellish day.

"Okay Sheldon, but I am going to get up now."

Sheldon mumbled, but quickly got annoyed, "Amy, quit taking my pillow, you pillow hog!" He pulled his soft pillow back under his face and hugged it tighter. The pillow was so warm and soft, he never wanted to get up.

"Sorry." Amy giggled. "Cuddles."

Sheldon nuzzled his head in the pillow and took a deep breath. It smelled of cherries and Aloe Vera with a hint of Arnica. The pillow was also moving up and down in a rhythmic motion and had a low thumping sound was echoing in his ear. Sheldon forced his eyes open to find he was face first in a whole mess of Amy Farrah Fowler's breasts. He was twisted around her like taffy; his legs were wrapped around hers, and his arms had completely enveloped her. He should be upset at her, except he was the one completely on her side of the bed. He must have traversed the four feet over night. He was mortified and didn't know what to say.

The last thing he wanted to admit was that he enjoyed it.

"Enjoy your sleep Sheldon?"

_Drats_!

"Um… Sorry. I don't.. I wouldn't.. I guess…" Sheldon was turning a lovely shade of red that matched beets. Amy had an irrepressible grin. Though he was shocked by his actions, he still hadn't moved an inch.

"Sheldon, don't worry. I enjoyed sleeping with you. You kept me warm all night. But I have to use the facilities, so if you don't mind?"

Sheldon jumped back like a snake had bit him and recoiled to his own side of the bed. He pulled the covers up to shield his modesty. Amy smiled and toddled off to the bath.

While she was gone, Sheldon sat up in bed while holding his pillow to his chest. He had no idea why he moved across the bed like that. He normally didn't move when he slept. He was so perplexed, he stayed in bed until Amy returned from the bath. She immediately jumped back into bed and pulled the covers over her body.

"I usually don't jump back in bed but I am freezing." Amy started shivering with her teeth chattering.

Sheldon snapped his fingers, " Now I get it! That's probably why I moved over to your side of the bed! It was cold and I unconsciously found a heat source."

"Oh really Sheldon… No other reason you would want to cuddle with me?" Amy leered at him with wink.

Sheldon looked confused, "I'm certain. I would never consciously touch you that much."

All the color drained out of Amy's face along with her smile in a puddle on the floor. Sheldon was confused why his girlfriend suddenly snatched the blanket, leapt out of bed and moved to the other room with a rush and a swift door slam. Sheldon gathered his clothes to dress for the day and made his way to the bathroom. He hurried his routine and left the bath to find Amy curled up on the couch watching the rain fall.

He wondered if she had gone out on the balcony because she had water on her cheeks, but clueless as he usually was, he soon realized that she had been crying. He sat next to her silently and thought, _crying was not romantic, unless it was tears of joy, which were confusing to say the least_. Crying on the ultimate romantic weekend was definitely a bad sign. He must have hit a trip switch in the mine field that is female emotions. He shouldn't be surprised, however, as the weekend was quickly turning out to be a disaster.


	10. Chapter 10

**Unconventional Romance Chapter 10**

He looked sheepishly at Amy and murmured, "Amy, I am certain I have done something wrong. Please do me a favor and tell me. You know it will take me weeks to figure it out on my own, if ever."

Amy sat up and gritted her teeth, "I am not sure how you could possibly be confused. You just stated you wouldn't consciously want to touch me. Dig in that deep dark pit of your mind where you hide your empathy and imagine why that might upset me. Just think about it."She turned away and stared out the window watching the rain.

Sheldon looked at his hands instead of his girlfriend's face. He remembered all the mean things Bernadette had said about Amy not being desirable and they were all wrong. Amy was desirable to him; too much so. That was exactly the problem. He didn't know how he could explain it her without sounding like a sex maniac. He clenched his jaw in anger, but Amy thought he was mad at her for being upset.

"I know you hate it when I get emotional. But right now I am. So if you don't want to deal with it, just leave."

"I don't want to leave Amy. I want to understand how I can fix this." Amy turned around to face him but refused to look him in the eye. Sheldon took what he could, "Amy you misunderstood. Remember, I said would never touch you THAT much. I mean, I was covering every inch of you. I have never done that before and it was not something I would do **IF** I had to think about it. I would have been frozen in fear."

Sheldon moved closer to her. "Look at me Amy, please?"

Amy leered up at Sheldon with red swollen eyes, "I just really don't understand how you can kiss me so easily, but everything else is so abhorrent. I wonder if the ONLY reason you kiss me is out of obligation. If that's the case, please stop. I don't want your pity." She looked away again unable to see him without crying.

"Amy, I don't kiss you from obligation. Believe me."

Amy let out a sigh and looked down at her hands. Sheldon continued to speak as he pulled the barrier of the blanket slowly off her, "I do want to touch you, but, to touch you **that** much… it's not something I could do if I thought about it." Sheldon took a deep swallow and closed his eyes while he said, "I don't care what you may have been told by your so-called friends, or what you think; but you are very desirable Amy. It's not you. It's me."

"What do you mean, Sheldon? What have you heard?"

Sheldon twitched slightly, "Um… nothing. I just know you wonder about stuff like that."

He remembered the conversation he had overheard when she wondered why he touched Penny and not her. He wanted to let her know without revealing his blatant snooping.

"You might even wonder…" He cleared his throat, "why is it that I can easily touch others but not you." He moved closer to Amy and gently placing a hand under her chin he raised her face to make her look at him.

"The reason is that when I casually touch them, it doesn't drown me like it does with you. Every touch from you is amplified through my system to a deafening tone. It's overwhelming. A slight touch from say, Penny, means nothing; it's a murmur. From you? It's a chorus." Sheldon moved closer to her and as his fingers moved to touch her face as he placed his other hand on her neck.

Amy gave a slight smile, "I know that Sheldon. Why do you think I try not to touch you when we kiss? I don't want to overwhelm you. It's been difficult to censor my actions, but I don't want to scare you off."

Sheldon let out a light chuckle, "I thought you were just shy."

Amy raised her one eye brow, "I'm not that shy Sheldon." He moved closer to her and stared at her lips. Amy started to stutter, "Well… mmm… Mmayybee a little shy..I guess." Amy licked her lips and drew in a breath, "Sheldon you are not the only one who gets overwhelmed. I do as well."

"You do? Oh Amy. I am so glad to hear that." Sheldon relaxed in an instant.

"You forget, this is also new to me. We had matching panic attacks at Prom did we not?"

Sheldon couldn't hold back his smirk, "Yes we did."

"That was so romantic." Amy let out a huge sigh.

Sheldon looked dreamy-eyed. "It was, wasn't it?"

Amy blushed and batted her eyes at Sheldon. "You know Sheldon… Kissing you.. it's sometimes, it's…"

"Yes?"

Amy let out a huge sigh, "It's all I can do not to collapse. It's like when you put your tongue on a 9 volt battery. The shock is slight, and you should be repelled, but you can't stop. It's exhilarating."

Sheldon just beamed at his girlfriend, "That's exactly how I feel! My god Amy. You know just what to say." Amy tried to suppress her smile, but she couldn't. Sheldon inched even closer to her, "Well, just to clarify. I do enjoy kissing you. That is why I asked to add it to the agreement."

"You seemed to, um enjoy it more lately… I noticed…" Amy looked down at her hands as a wave of reticence rolled over her.

Sheldon scooted even closer to her, "I hope you do as well, and, I no longer want you to have to censor your actions so much with me. I'm not a child."

Amy smirked at Sheldon's childlike pouting face. He was happy to see even a slight smile from her, "Next time I kiss you, maybe you could, hmm, not hold back? Let's see how I do."

"Really? I would like that!"

"Well I think I would as well."

All the talk of kissing had caused a growing desire in Sheldon which he could no longer ignore. He moved within a millimeter of her mouth and whispered so softly she could feel his lips move over hers.

"Because sometimes Amy… Your touch may deafen me, but it is the only thing I want to hear."

His slow kiss started off softly until he felt Amy's hands on the sides of his face. She lightly ran her fingers over his hair line to his ear. She outlined the folds of his ears to his ear lobe. Sheldon was quivering under her feather touch. With every touch Sheldon's kiss was intensified and amplified. By the time she reached his neck and the top of his shoulders Sheldon was practically on top of Amy drowning her in one of the most powerful kisses she had ever experienced. His hands weren't idle. He held onto the nape of her neck and face at first, but motivated by her touch he moved his hands to her shoulders. He was gripping her so tightly, when he moved his hands, the robe went with them. Just as he was about to move his mouth to her freshly exposed neck and rip off her robe, a loud knock was at the door.

"ROOM SERVICE!"

Sheldon jumped off the couch again. This time he was surprised and angry at the interruption. "Why on earth are they here again?"

Amy pulled her robe closed and covered herself with the blanket, "I'm sorry Sheldon. I took the liberty to order breakfast from Room service. I didn't want to disrupt your routine."

Sheldon was torn between jumping back on the couch and answering the door. The second knock helped him to decide.

The same uninterested man rushed in the room, placed the food quickly on the table, pushed a receipt in Sheldon's hand and was gone before Sheldon could get a word out.

He looked over the feast that included cereal and 2% milk and smiled at Amy, "Even though you were angry with me you still ordered my usual breakfast?"

Amy grinned and pushed her hair back behind her ears, "Well, don't get a big head Sheldon. It was for self-preservation; you get grumpy when you don't eat." Amy handed him his bowl and milk. She had ordered a larger than normal breakfast because she knew Sheldon would be stealing her bacon and toast before long. He was always stealing her food. She found it adorable that a man who hated anyone touching his food, had no problem stealing hers.

Sheldon was still uneasy during breakfast. He watched Amy drink her tea and smile into the cup and wondered what she was thinking. She raised her smile to him as he snatched another slice of her bacon, "So, am I still in trouble?" He blinked his big blue eyes at her in such a sparkling way it would have made an anime character proud.

"No Sheldon. You're good. Very, very good." Amy sat back on the couch and tapped her tea mug, "Now, what to do today? Hmm…" Amy's eyes lit up, "Hey! We can play the hot boiled beans game, like from Christmas!"

Sheldon shook his head, "Why do you hate me?"

"I don't hate you, I love you.." Amy grinned at him. He had found so many times to use that phrase since Christmas. He said it about everything: She would say, he had to go to work, "why do you hate me…" She told them they had to buy more tea, "Why do you hate me…?" They had to get gas before going to the comic store, "Why do you hate me..?" Amy knew exactly what he was playing at. He loved to hear her say the inevitable line, "I don't hate you… I love you." It was his way of hearing it as often as he could.

"Well you call it love, but I hate hidden objects. Koothrapali better not have lied to me about that sock."

"What sock?"

"Don't worry. I wouldn't want to upset you." Sheldon moved over to her plate and grabbed her last piece of toast, "Well, I had planned to show you around Catalina, maybe take you on a tour. There is even a haunting tour of Avalon. Unfortunately like I said, the flying fish are out of season and anyway you would have had to take a small boat to see them."

"A small boat? Ha! No way would we've done that."

"Yeah, it would be unsafe, and one boat ride was enough for me for a while." Sheldon looked over at his bag, "I have an inordinate amount of research on my lap top. I guess it's all for nothing now." Sheldon looked sadly down at his knees.

"Sheldon, look outside, even if I did have clothes, we wouldn't want to go out. Besides, your knowledge would be better than any tour guide and you know it. So, what's up with these fish, anyway?"

That was all he needed, he went over to his lap top and pulled up all the research he had done for their trip.

"The flying fish don't really fly. That's a misnomer. However, they do glide across the water. They have large fins and can glide for almost a mile. It's amazing, but best viewed at night or by helicopter."

"There is no way you'd do that!"

Sheldon held his chin up, "You don't know. I am getting much braver lately."

"Yes, you are. Much more…" Amy was thinking back to the kiss she'd experienced before breakfast and had a dreamy smile on her face. Sheldon continued on his lecture unaware of his zoned out audience member.

Throughout the morning, Sheldon showed Amy virtual tours, videos of the flying fish, helicopter rides over the island, all the while the rain was pouring out side. After a few hours, if there was anything Amy didn't know about Catalina, she didn't need to know it.

"I knew you would be the best tour guide! Now, I am going to take a quick shower." Amy got up and headed to the bath. She stopped at the pamphlet on the counter, "Oh I forgot about that free spa day."

"Would you want to do that Amy? Have strangers touch your body like that?" Sheldon could not bear the thought of anyone touching him in that way, let alone touching Amy's naked form. He shuddered at that the thought and rushed over to make sure there were no pictures of Brad types on the pamphlet.

"It's nicer than you think, but I can understand how you would hate it. I would like to do the facial though, but I don't want to leave you alone."

"By all means, I wanted to run out and get something anyway."

"What?"

"You'll see. Now, hmmm… How to get you down stairs to the spa without anyone seeing your…." He took a swallow, "Body..."

"Oh Sheldon it's ok this robe covers everything."

Sheldon let out a chuckle, "Ha! Amy, that robe is a thin as gnat's whisker. Or the evidence for big foot, or thin as a Depression era soup. Or thin as…"

"I get it Sheldon!" She tried to cover herself now painfully aware of her exposure, "Why didn't you say anything? I sat here like an idiot in front of Brad in this paper thin garment thinking I was safe. Oh man…."

Sheldon looked down at her almost see-through robe and swallowed. He did not want to admit he was enjoying his own Amy Farrah Fowler show, so he just blinked in response. Amy smirked at him and crossed her arms, "Well, I'll wear what you bought me."

"Amy that's far too tight for public consumption! Everyone will see your curves, and your…" He was looking over her body and gulping loudly. Amy couldn't help be pleased that Sheldon was looking at her in such a lurid fashion. However she quickly dismissed his concerns.

"What about if I wear this robe over it."

"Oh, that's different." He shrugged and let her pass. A short while later Amy emerged from the bedroom area with her new outfit on, but also with the robe as a cover. Sheldon could still see her chest was exposed so he went over and tied it more securely.

Amy held out her legs showing off her new hosiery, "I love these tights, by the way! So much easier to get on! I am only going to buy this kind from now on!"

Sheldon had difficulty shaking off the image of her legs in the thigh highs and nothing else. He led her out of the room and guarded her like she was pop-star and he was her own personal security. He laughed, "It's like the movie, the Body Guard."

Amy stopped dead in her tracks, "You.. You Sheldon Cooper… Watched the Body Guard, with Whitney Houston?"

"Yes, and that Water World guy, but Raj ruined it with his crying fit during the Dolly Parton song."

"Wait, hold up. You know that song?"

"Yes. I grew up in Texas. It was required listening. That other woman didn't do it justice. Now, come quickly, I don't want those men to share the elevator with you." Sheldon glared at the group of men down the hall who were calling for Sheldon to hold the elevator. They were all wearing plaid shirts and jeans, like some evil farmer triad. Sheldon was sure they were up to no good.

Amy had an hour to wait for her appointment. Still recovering from the knowledge that Sheldon had watched the Body guard, she told him to go and have fun and leave her to read glossy girly magazines.

The rain had finally let up so he went to the flower shop down the street. Unfortunately, Sheldon didn't realize that buying flowers on Valentine's Day on an island would be like a black Friday sale at Best Buy. By the time he got the counter, they were out of flowers. Disappointed he made his way back to the hotel and ran into his new Gardner friend, Javier.

"Hola, Papi, how'd it go with the medicine?"

"Hi Javier. Very well, but I will have to check her chest again this evening."

"I bet you will papi, Ha!" He slapped Sheldon on the back and winked at him.

Sheldon grimaced, "Well, thank you for your help. She is recovering nicely." Sheldon looked over at the garden and had a brilliant thought, "Do **you** have roses?"

"No man. I am converting all the plants here to natives. I just pulled out all the Gardenias today."

Sheldon slumped. Roses were the ultimate in romance and were a must have on his romance list. Then a new idea blossomed in his head, "Hey, can I have the petals?"

Javier smiled and hit Sheldon on the back again, "Ha! You are a genius, ay, Dr. Cooper?"

"Yes and a romantic god! She won't know what hit her! Blamo! Instant romance!"

Sheldon returned to their room with the plastic bag filled with gardenia petals that Javier had given him. He noticed the time and realized that Amy would only have been in the spa for about 10 minutes, so he decided to wait for her down stairs but not before making a strongly worded complaint to the management about their food choices.

The innkeeper tried to rush to the back when he approached, but Sheldon caught him just in time, "Excuse me. I need to speak with you about your menu choices."

"Of course sir. What can we do for you? Some chocolate covered strawberries and champagne for your beloved?" The Innkeepers flat delivery and monotone response was lost on Sheldon.

"Oh, that's a good idea." Sheldon preordered their chocolate covered strawberries to be delivered at 7:00pm. He was so pleased with his choice he almost forgot to complain about the food. He quickly turned around much to the dismay of the Innkeeper who had hoped this high-maintenance guest was satisfied. " But I must discuss a grave concern I have over your culinary ethnic smorgasbord?"

"HUH?"

"First of all, in what world does one put avocado in egg rolls? I mean are you running a hotel or a culinary island of Dr Moreau?"

"Sir, that was a special for our honored quests. The annual Southern Californian Avocado grower's convention. I'm sure you've seen the signs." Sheldon turned ghost white and looked around him. He was surrounded by glossy pictures of avocados, stuffed avocado based dolls and cook book displays. Sheldon had landed his allergic girlfriend in avocado hell. There was even a fluffy large avocado mascot greeting guests at the café.

Sheldon turned back to the inn keeper. "My god, it's like avocado hall of horrors!"

"I know! Frankly I thought it was little much to change the facial cream to avocado base, but the farmer's wives seem to love it… I think the seed scrub is the most popular." The innkeeper rambled on about how many things had avocado in it. He didn't notice his ghost white patron hyperventilating. Sheldon's eyes couldn't have gotten wider. He rushed down the hall to the spa.

Amy heard a commotion from the lobby.

"_Sir, you can't go back there!"_

"_Unhand me, you purveyor of poison_!" Sheldon burst into the room screaming, "_Where is Amy Farrah Fowler? What have you done to her_?" The other women in the spa screamed and tried to cover themselves. Amy yelled out to him. She tried to get the mask off her face before Sheldon came in, but she only was able to get half of it off before he saw her.

"Sheldon! What's wrong?"

Sheldon took one look at Amy and almost fainted. "Oh God, they got to you! Your face is melting! This is worse than Raiders of the Lost Arc. You monsters! You've destroyed her perfect face!"

Sheldon rushed over to Amy and shouted at her, "Where is your purse?" Sheldon didn't wait for any answer. He found her bag, dumped it out on the floor again and found her epi pen. Amy jumped off the table to avoid Sheldon stabbing at her. "Sheldon! Stop! What the hell?" Sheldon chased her around the table, stabbing at her with each pass. Amy screamed and the spa ladies called security.

"I've brought you to the viper pit of Hass Hell! Amy… Stand still!" He lunged at her again. "Avocados Amy! Everywhere!"

"Sheldon! I didn't eat any avocados!"

"They put it in the scrubs Amy, in the very acid base concoction melting your face!"

Amy stopped, held up her hand and snapped at him. She glared at him with icy green eyes. Sheldon stopped dead in his tracks as she bellowed at him, "Stop! I told them not to use it. I am fine. Stand down, Sheldon! Now!"

Sheldon was hyperventilating, "Are you sure?"

Amy held her hand for the Epi Pen, "Yes, now hand it over." Sheldon handed her the Epi pen, but then he saw small stream of blood running down his hand. He had engaged the pen and clipped his finger on the needle. Next thing he remembered was own scream rattling in his ears and blackness.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Big thank you to ShAmy4vr for Beta reading again. I really should go to the UK and thank her in person. I will go tell my husband right now to book tickets!**

**I don't know if you all have been keeping up with the TBBT Forum Holiday Challenge, but there are some great stories out there I have to tell you about. **

**One**** is by AJoyForever: Santa Stimulation. Just read it, and loved every line. If you like good writing, you have to read it. Just a must!**

**Then there is one my Madamocho. Really well written. Just what you want in a SHamy story.**

**Then there is Sciencegeekmom story. It will be a multi-chapter based on a Christmas Carol. I cant wait for more chapters for that one.**

**There are others, and I know I forgot some, but these pop out to me right now. Most are rated M. **

**Speaking of Rated M, I really want to to thank all the followers of this story. I was worried that once I changed to rated M, the story wouldnt hit the filters for people. Following the story bypasses that, so thank you and I really appreciate all your feedback, reviews and support. I am still learning here folks, and you guys have been wonderful and patient with me. I really truly appreciate it. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Unconventional Romance Chapter 11**

Sheldon woke up half an hour later. His neck and face felt embraced by a soft warm cloud. As his eyes opened he saw Amy's smiling and, more importantly, perfect face staring down at him. She had his head cradled in her lap while he laid across the couch. She was caressing his face and combing his hair with her fingers. Sheldon had only felt this level of comfort from his mother when she would hold him as a child. He had never experienced this with Amy, and at the moment he wondered why ever not.

"Amy… What happened, are you okay? Your beautiful face is back to normal!"

Amy smiled, "Yes silly. I'm fine. You, on the other hand, fainted. I was really worried that you had shot yourself with the epi pen, but you only nicked your finger. I had to get this nice gardener to help me haul you up stairs. He said his name was Javier. Do you know him?"

Sheldon held up his hand and surveyed the fresh bandage on his index finger, "Yes. He's my new friend." Sheldon quickly looked around the room to insure his hidden bag of petals had not been disturbed; he was safe. He also made sure she was dressed and Javier had not seen his woman clothed only in the thin robe. Amy, though still wearing her revealing Pennyesque outfit, did have the robe on top. Happy with the scene, Sheldon resumed his position on his own Amy shaped pillow.

"Oh good. But he isn't into trains is he? There is only one of those type of friends I can cope with on our Valentine's Day trips."

Sheldon shook his head with a laugh, "No trains. Botany. He's quite knowledgeable." Sheldon held his head. "Oh Amy. What a disaster. I had no idea there was an avocado growers convention here. I could have killed you just with a romantic weekend!"

"Well, it would have been a nice way to go Sheldon." Amy was enjoying the novel sensation of Sheldon's head in her lap. She traced his hair line unconsciously before she remembered there was nothing in the relationship agreement about nurturing your boyfriend on one's lap. Now that he was awake, Amy thought he would balk at the unsanctioned contact. But as she pulled her hand back Sheldon moved his head as if he missed her touch. She continued timidly just waiting for a fervent protest. None came.

"Sheldon… You do realize that my allergy is not that bad, and I keep the Epi Pen for Penicillin rather than avocados, right?"

Sheldon marginalized her dismissal summarily, "Well you can never be too careful."

"Actually you can. You do go a little over board with protecting me."

"Over board? I think not, my dear." He scoffed at the implication that he, Sheldon Cooper would do ANYTHING without a measured response.

"It's very sweet… You know that?" Amy almost singed the response to him.

"Umph." Sheldon looked away, "Well I don't want you to become an invalid, I would have to take care of you, and I do have a schedule to keep."

Amy lightly brushed his dark hair with her fingers, "Well, if I ever did become deathly ill, I know you would take good care of me."

"Of course Amy, it's in the relationship agreement."

"That was pretty smart of you to put the clause in there. It seems I have been the beneficiary of it more you."

"Of course it was smart. I do nothing without careful planning. Besides, you need protecting…" Sheldon gulped and looked at her softly, "Cause you're a female and weaker. That's all…"

"I see…There's that feminist upbringing of yours coming out again, huh Tex?" The sarcasm was lost on Sheldon. Amy smiled and continued to outline his features with her hand. She could not believe he was allowing this much contact. "Sheldon you really are a marvelous caretaker, you know that?"

"Yes, I wish others would listen to my sage advice. I am still waiting for Leonard to sneeze out a web from the barn spider the surgeon no doubt left in there. I mean to go under the knife without it being necessary seemed such a foolhardy risk."

"You really worry about your friends. It's very sweet. "Amy was still stroking his hair gently. Thinking he would hate it by now, she stopped and smiled at Sheldon.

"As you know I don't like change, and dying is a big change. Speaking of change, don't stop doing that…" Sheldon snuggled back onto Amy's lap and let out a sigh when she continued caressing him.

Amy continued to speak in a lower tone, "You know, I do know why you worry so much and I'm sorry if I have added to your concerns."

Sheldon sat up and placed his hands on either side of Amy to face her. "Really? You know why?"

"Yes. It's hard for you to let people in, let them become close to you, because of the pain you have felt in the past when those important to you have gone. Their passing created a vacuum that hurt you terribly, and the only way you can deal with this is not to get involved, to try to keep people at a distance. It's the reason you only have 9 friends."

Sheldon looked away at some unknown space on the opposite white wall. He was lost in thought, talking more to himself than Amy, "You are right. I hate to admit it, but I don't know what I would do if something happened to Leonard. He is my best friend." Sheldon looked pale and scared. He spoke so softly Amy could barely hear him, "I couldn't deal with it if something happened to you...if you left."

Sheldon placed his head back on her lap and curled up on his side, facing away from her. Amy continued to comb through his hair with her fingers. Sheldon sustained his hushed tone, "It was easier when I didn't care. Lately,being with you blew all the bad feelings away and filled up the spaces with something else. If something happened to you or to us, all those feelings would go away, and I don't know what would fill them again. The hole would be too big."

Amy's breath caught in her throat as she placed the back of her fingers on his cheek lightly, "I'm not going anywhere and also, I'm fit as a fiddle Dr. Cooper. I try to listen to all your safety tips. But sometimes Sheldon, you can't plan for everything. Like Avocado growers."

"OK, I'll try and not chase you around with an Epi pen again. But who knows what witches brew those cretins put on your face in that girly torture chamber. Honestly Amy, do you really enjoy all that fusing on your face?"

"It helps me become beautiful."

"How is that even possible?"

Amy glared at Sheldon and he turned back to face her. She was none too pleased with him until he added, "You're already beautiful."

Amy's brilliant smile lit up the room, "You sir, have earned valuable boyfriend points. That's the second time today you called me beautiful."

"Oh Amy, how could I have possible won valuable boyfriend points just by stating the obvious? I mean come on." He tried to get up, but Amy pulled him back down gently.

"You should rest for a while. It's only 2:00 PM. You could take a nap. I ordered lunch, and yes, before you ask, there are no avocados anywhere near the food."

Sheldon let out a sigh and nestled back onto Amy's lap. "Well I guess I could rest, but I can't sleep. I need to make sure there are no avocado based products in here as well. I have too much to do." He took her hand and placed it back on his cheek. Amy was drowning in elation at being able to touch him so easily.

"Don't worry, I've made sure everything is avocado free. I don't use the hotel soap anyway. This is a safe zone. No worries. No pressure. Just relax. You don't have to do anything."

Sheldon briefly felt all the tension trapped in his muscles dissipate. He closed his eyes for a few minutes then his lips twitched as a smile slowly spread across his face. He seemed to have something devilish on his mind. "So Amy…"

"Yes Sheldon?"

"What can I redeem valuable boyfriend points for?"

Amy wasn't expecting to come up with a list. She quickly rattled off anything she could, "Well… Get out of trouble for free cards. Being able to choose the restaurant on date night." Amy cleared her throat, "Released from the requirements to kiss me on Date night. Um… Release from watching chick flicks…"

Sheldon sat up and placed his hands on either side of Amy's body while he leaned across her. "Release from the requirements of our date night kiss? I don't want to give up our date night kiss. How is that a benefit?"

Amy darted her eyes around. She did not expect him to pick up on that little slip up so quickly, "No, not take away. I mean to add… one…Um, well. We are only allowed to kiss on date nights. You might, I don't know.. Want to kiss me… Um… Other times… You know… not on date nights."

"Oh really?" Sheldon's devilish grin reemerged, "Like under mistletoe, Dr. Fowler?"

Amy misread his implication, "Never mind. Just a thought." Amy became nervous and tried to bolt off the couch. Sheldon caught her hand and pulled her back before she was able to get far. She was pinned under him. His darkened hungry stare made the feeling in her bones less akin to that of the 9 volt battery and more like a lightning strike.

Sheldon moved closer to her like a cat trapping its prey. "You know, this weekend is like a long date. That is why I have been able to kiss you."

Amy stuttered a timid response, "Rreally?"

He spoke while he watched her bite her bottom lip, "Yes, our new agreement specifies that I can kiss you before our date with no time restrictions. That was your suggestion Amy. You really left yourself wide open there."

"Oh, I probably should've thought that through…"

"So, kissing you… say at this exact moment… would only be an extension of our date night kiss obligation. I wouldn't have to use my valuable boyfriend's points."

Amy wrapped her hands around his neck and pulled him closer to her. "It seems not."

"Good…" The feeling of Amy's hand on his neck sent electric bolts through every surface of his skin like lightening riding on water. Sheldon didn't waste time being timorous with his lips. His kiss didn't start off slow and build up; he was forceful, adroit and brimming with a feeling he was quickly recognizing as desire. He felt every touch of hers pulsate through him like never before. His hands quickly pulled off her robe and felt her warm body through the thin blouse. Her skintight skirt was pushed up around the top of her thigh revealing the purple panty set Sheldon had bought for her. He pushed himself up against her, wanting to capture every sensation of her warm welcoming form. Amy gripped his shoulder blades to pull him closer into her as his mouth dared to move off her lips to her neck.

He knew kissing her like this wasn't romantic, it wasn't gentle or tender and he didn't care. For brief moments Sheldon's mind was blank; a feeling he rarely if ever experienced. Her unique smell, the feeling of her chest against his, and her moans clouded his every thought. He thought he could hear his heart beat thump through his chest like a drum. He continued to kiss her, but he heard it again. It was Amy who jumped from underneath Sheldon this time and he almost face planted on the couch arm. Amy staggered in her rush to get the door, pulling down her skirt and adjusting her blouse. Then Sheldon heard his least favorite phrase from the weekend.

"ROOM SERVICE!"

Amy tried to straighten her hair and answer the door with some semblance of dignity. The man took no notice of her; he rushed in dropped off the lunch, shoved a receipt in Amy hand and left without so much as 'how d'ya do'. Amy looked over at her boyfriend, his hair disheveled, his face flushed and tried to stifle a laugh but failed. Sheldon was just happy that she was the one standing and not him. He had an embarrassing problem throbbing in his pants and he wasn't intent on sharing news of that development, even with the uninterested bellman.

"Oh Sheldon, I am sorry. I guess we have the worst timing."

"I blame you, you green eyed minx. I hope I have now resolved this question, once and for all, about whether or not I want to touch you. You can tell your hen party next time you get to chuckling."

Amy nearly fainted, "You want me to tell the girls about you kissing me like that?"

Sheldon eyes went wide and he back pedaled quicker than cyclist downhill, "Um, no. I just know how you and your gossipy gerties are. I just… Well. I …. Never mind. Let's eat. But first, I have to inspect for avocado."

Sheldon pulled the lids off to reveal two hamburgers with everything on the side (sans the sinful green fruit) and an extra order of French fries. Amy noticed there was one errant curly fry in the mix just as Sheldon looked suspiciously around the room.

"No one is trying to slip you a mickey Sheldon. Just eat!" He was too famished to worry about fry etiquette and dove in right away. Amy sat on the couch next to him and tried to eat, but her tight skirt kept creeping up her legs revealing the band of her thigh high tights.

"Oh Amy, just wear your robe. You must hate that skirt." Sheldon had finished off his fries, the extra order, and was now pilfering hers as well. "You should give it to Bernadette or Penny."

Amy was not happy being compared to either of the other girls, "Because they have the figure for it, right?" Amy was seething.

"Exactly, they don't have womanly hips or an ample posterior, like yours. Emily is built like a 14 year old boy, so give it to her." Amy wasn't sure, but she just might have received a compliment on her bum from Sheldon Cooper. He didn't notice Amy wide smile as he reached across her to get his drink." Oooh, you ordered another chocolate shake and a soda! Yummy!"

"Okay, you eat while I'll change. I am so uncomfortable." Amy went into the other room, took off her blouse and skirt and returned wearing only her bra, underwear and tights under her robe. She came back to find Sheldon smiling at her, then blush and look down at his burger. She sat next to him and let out a huge sigh.

"Purple huh?" Sheldon didn't look at her when he said it and took a large bite out of his burger.

Amy blushed, "Yes. I find it slightly unnerving that you know what I am wearing under this robe."

"Well, I bought it." Sheldon stole another French fry and took a drink of his soda to hide his lecherous leer. His mind wandering to thoughts he had only heard Wolowitz express.

"Well, I think I need a thicker robe."

"Nah, this one is fine." Sheldon looked at Amy and blushed quickly as she caught him staring at her chest again. Sheldon was shocked by his thought patterns and quickly changed the subject. "Um… what do you want to do after lunch?"

It was Valentine's Day afternoon. He had planned to take her to the pier and look for otters or seals while listing all the marine mammals native to the Channel Islands; because, as Sheldon knew, nothing is more romantic than knowledge. The constant drizzle of cold rain and lack of appropriate clothes shot down that idea but Sheldon had a backup plan. He had downloaded an old French movie, Le Quai des Brumes or Port of Shadows. It was a French love story set in a port city which Sheldon thought would perfect for their romantic weekend at Catalina.

"I'm up for anything Sheldon except Klingon Bogle. You choose."

"I have a movie we could see, Le Quai Des Brumes." Sheldon's butchering of French was laughable at best.

"Oh Sheldon, I don't want to see a movie about a cage of brooms. What is that, some Lord of the Rings thing? I thought that series was over."

"No, Le Quai des Brumes, the Port of Shadows." He handed her the DVD case.

"Oh! A French movie? Oh Sheldon you hate those.."

"Well, I like to watch you watch them. Let me load it up." Sheldon set up the movie while Amy cleared away all the lunch, giggling when she noticed he had finished off all her fries. Amy curled up on the couch with the brown blanket from the bed. Sheldon's plan had been to watch the romantic movie just to see her eyes sparkle. However the blanket covering Amy like a shroud was blocking his view of her sparkling green obs. She looked like one of the Jawa, the desert sand loving creatures from Star Wars and it was not a romantic look.

"Um, Amy? Are you going remain cloaked up like Bedouin?"

"I'm freezing Sheldon. I miss my sweaters. I love the ones you got me, but they are so thin and this robe is no help." Amy was shivering. He could see the brown hood shake vigorously.

Sheldon knew the solution to his freezing girlfriend's problem and it involved her favorite activity, "Okay, come here." Sheldon opened his arms inviting her to cuddle and Amy practically jumped on him. She wrapped the blanket around the both of them like an egg roll wrapper, snuggled into his chest and looked up at him with green hued scintillation. _Perfection_, he thought, and he yet had to start the movie. He couldn't wait to see her eyes during the film.

The slow paced movie was the typical European romance that Sheldon abhorred. Additionally, it was difficult for him to follow along with the subtitles and still try to watch Amy. She seemed relaxed in his arms and warm as a mug of tea. Sheldon glanced down, but her face was pointed toward the screen. Sheldon waited to see her eyes, but Amy's head then angled toward his lap. Sheldon wondered what she could be looking at, so he softly called her name, "Amy, what do you think of this part?" He hoped he would see her eyes as she looked up to answer him. Instead, his query was answered in another way: Amy slowly slid down like melting chocolate into Sheldon's lap. Her face planted directly between his legs.

Paralyzed and completely unsure of the protocol, Sheldon could do nothing but look down at the back of her head and prayed no one had a camera to the capture the image. Thankfully, Amy moved her face from between his legs where her hot breath was heating up untamed areas that Sheldon was desperate to ignore. She turned to the side, let out a huge sigh and wrapped her hand around his thigh like a pillow. He debated if he should wake her or try to move her again to the bed. Instead he looked longingly at the laptop just out of reach and regretted not bringing a remote control for his computer.

As the movie droned on for a further hour, Sheldon went through his list of failed romantic gestures during the trip. Having your girlfriend's face planted in your lap and thinking the kind of thoughts Sheldon had could not be qualified as romantic. Additionally, sleeping during his romantic movie was a definite fail in his opinion. He had a few more tricks in his quiver, but he was quickly running out of Cupid's arrows. If the few gestures he had left didn't prove he was romantic, he would have to go nuclear. The possibility of coitus was peaking its head over the horizon like a Leviathan. Sheldon didn't think he was ready for the ultimate option, but if his other schemes failed, he had to be ready.

He was determined not to lose her because of his lack of romantic insight. He feared losing her more than he could process. All he knew was the thought of being without her long term caused a dull ache in his stomach and chest. When he would edit the relationship agreement, he thought about removing the clause for termination completely. Contract chicanery and cheap tricks were no way to keep her and he knew it. He had to ensure there would no changes in the status of their relationship by any means necessary. As he ran through the few remaining items on his list, he didn't notice his hand was combing through Amy's hair or see the dreamy smile etched on her sleeping face. All he could focus on at the moment was the closed bedroom door taunting him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Unconventional Romance Chapter 12**

Amy's nap time haze must have played tricks with her mind. She couldn't fathom any plausible explanation for her present state: Snuggled on Sheldon's lap with his hand draped on her ribs dangerously close to her chest. Not only was his hand on her ribs, her hair was weaved between his fingers. She didn't dare disturb the lovely scene; it was as rare as Penny understanding a quantum loop gravity joke.

Amy was euphoric. Valentine's Day wasn't even over and already it was the best she'd ever had. Sheldon had shown her more affection in one afternoon than he had all year. Amy started to catalog all the little gestures that Sheldon had done for her and she almost wept:

Sheldon Cooper had boarded a boat for her. Stood by the railings even though he gets sea-sick. He kept her away from Brad, which she had yet to explain to Sheldon was a joy in its own right. He had wrapped his arms around her waist during the boat ride, bought her clothes and lingerie, showed concern over her health, and told her she was beautiful; twice. He carried her to the bed last night, took care of her, and snuggled her as they slept. Despite the fact that he never allows anyone in his room, let alone his bed, he had slept with her, and that was the most romantic thing she had ever heard of in her life. Then, if all of that was not enough, Sheldon had kissed her not once, or twice, but three times, and with enough passion to make Penny blush. She couldn't think it could get any better, but then, she woke up on his lap. Amy half expected to blink her eyes open and find she was dreaming or Sheldon had been replaced with a pod person. She laughed when she remembered there was a clause in the agreement for just such an occurrence.

Amy forced her eyes toward the window and adjusted her vision to the twilight glow of evening seeping through the sheer curtains. The rain had stopped and the room had a perfect view of the now clear sky. It was late; the clock on the computer showed 6:27 PM. Amy pivoted her head toward her lanky pillow to capture the sweetest image of all: Sheldon sleeping with his hand holding up his face. Amy slowly lifted her head off his thigh to sit next to him. Though still asleep, Sheldon felt her move and pulled her into his shoulder to nuzzle in her hair. Amy's deep sighs and her warm hand on his knee finally broke his stupor.

He pulled his hands back in alarm, "Oh, Amy. I fell asleep!"

Amy sat back and flashed a broad grin, "I did as well Sheldon. I think all the running around caught up with us. It was a much needed and welcome nap." Amy arched her back causing her robe to gape open. She stretched out her arms unaware of her enrapt audience.

"I'll be right back." Sheldon rushed to the restroom and washed his face. He was disappointed that the romantic gesture of the movie was ruined by their mutual exhaustion. He cleaned himself up the best he could and changed into his grey suit which he had planned to wear to the dinner. No reason not to keep with the plans, he thought.

He emerged from the bedroom to greet Amy's stunned face.

"Sheldon! You changed!" Amy pulled at her robe and was confused, "Are we going out?"

"No, I just thought I should get dressed. You know. It's Valentine's Day."

"Oh, Sheldon. That's just… That's… Oh wow. " Amy couldn't believe he would put on his suit to sit in a hotel room, just for her. "You look… Amazing."

Sheldon did a slight bow, "Of course I do! Besides it's a grey suit so you're biased." Sheldon straightened his tie and sat on the couch. Amy felt self-conscious about her robe. She pulled at the tie and tried to straighten it out as she rose to go the restroom.

"I wish I had a dress Sheldon. I feel like a hippy."

Sheldon looked at her in the robe and smiled. "You don't need one Amy. That robe is like a dress and it's what underneath that counts." Sheldon blushed up like a cherry when Amy arched her eye brow at him, "Oh, I didn't mean your purple stuff, I meant your curvy body. Um. No… I mean.. you look dressed, but not a hippy… I mean..oh boy..."

Amy grinned at her beet red boyfriend, "Well, thank you Sheldon. I will be right back."

Amy toddled off to the restroom in a giddy mood till she saw herself in the unforgiving mirror. She hadn't had a chance to reapply her makeup since the spa, and her hair looked a fright. The self-critical inner voice told her she had no business being around a man looking in such a state. That little voice had the same accent as her mother: Acerbic and dripping with contempt.

Amy thought to herself, _He kissed me like that, while I am looking like this_? She smiled, "_Yeah. He kissed me looking like this! Suck it mom_!" She was dying for a long bath, but she brushed her teeth and washed her face quickly and returned to find Sheldon playing with his phone.

"Amy, are you hungry?"

"Honestly, no. That burger did me in. We ate so late I couldn't eat a bit. Are you?"

Sheldon's butterfly filled stomach prevented any thoughts of food, "Not in the least." He shook his head, "Not like I could take you to the restaurant I had prearranged anyway…" Sheldon had planned a fabulous meal at the best restaurant on the island. Instead, it seemed their Valentines meal was to be a subpar hamburger and hotel room tea. "However, if you give me a moment, I have something else in mind."

Sheldon was busily working something on his phone. As the minutes ticked by, he frowned as he moved around the room with his phone held in the air. Finally he walked to the coffee table and moved it out of the way with no explanation. He held out his hand for Amy. "It isn't exactly what I had planned, but it will have to do."

Amy took his hand and was led to the middle of the room. Sheldon hit a button on his phone and placed it on the counter. Within a second Amy's face lit up with delight when she heard her favorite Neil Diamond song, "Hello Again" crackling through the small speakers.

Sheldon bowed to Amy like he had done on prom for their first slow dance, "May I have this dance my dear?"

"Of course!"

Sheldon wrapped his hand around the small of her back and held her hand with the other. He moved her around the room slowly as he gazed into her eyes. Through the window, the stars were just starting to tinkle and the deep blue glow of early evening matched Sheldon's eyes. She didn't think she could fall in love in with him more, but she was wrong. It was all she could do not to swoon. In fact, when Sheldon dipped her suddenly with a devilish grin, she did.

"Did you know this is one of my favorite songs you cunning genius?"

Sheldon grinned at her, "Maybe… A little bird named Wolowitz might have left a few bread crumbs."

Before the song ended, Sheldon bent his head down and placed a soft kiss on Amy's forehead. Just as she raised her chin to capture his lips, the next song blared through the speakers. Unfortunately, it was the sound track to the Lord of the Rings. Specifically, the Sauron theme with its heavy horns and ominous base tones. That killed the mood as much as the noxious fumes of Mordor.

Amy laughed, "One ring to rule them all huh?"

Sheldon rushed to the phone to stop the mood killing symphony, "Not the ring I had in mind frankly. I had a whole playlist but I can't access the internet. These are the only songs I have on my phone." He had stored in the 'cloud' an entire play list based off the romantic movies he had watched over the last few weeks. None of them were on his phone, just Neil Diamond. _Not good enough_ he thought. But then he realized something that jarred him from his self-pity. He turned back to Amy with a smile, "Did you just quote Lord of the Rings?"

"And in the darkness bind them…" She did a curtsey, "I sure did. Do I get valuable girlfriend points?"

Sheldon grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into his chest, "Oh you get much more than that!" Sheldon bent down to kiss Amy with a smile still on his face. When he felt her hands on the back of his neck, his thin smile was replaced with desire filled lips matching Amy's.

As he kissed her he was slowly walking her back to the bathroom door. He didn't know what he had planned, but he wanted a solid surface to brace her against. He had only one thought as his mindless hands moved over her body to find her robe tie. He wanted to feel her skin. As the thin white garment became loose, his hands crept beneath the fabric to her body and moved to her tender belly and waist. Her skin felt as soft as a cat's ear. He moved his hand up the sides of her body to her shoulders. Sheldon's touch felt like lava and ice at the same time. Amy's throaty moans caused Sheldon's mind to go blank. His kiss never wavered as he slowly started to pull the robe off her shoulders. Just before he could undress his willing vixen he heard it again, the worst call of the weekend. Like the screeching of the Nazgûl Ringwraiths in Lord of the Rings, the sound attacked his ear drums like sharp blades.

"**Room Service."**

Amy and Sheldon looked at each other in shock and mutual agitation.

"Did you order something Amy?"

"No! Maybe it's a mistake. Come here…" Amy pulled Sheldon back into her mouth and held onto his shoulders for dear life. She pulled off his suit jacket while she spoke through her kisses, "He'll… Go… Away.. Soon…"

"_**ROOM SERVICE!" KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.**_

Sheldon pulled back from her heated kiss enough to ask, "What could it be?"

Amy was not about to have her first disrobing by Sheldon interrupted by a mistaken dinner order. "UG! I'll get rid of him." Amy re-tied her robe and headed to the door. Just before she reached it, Sheldon remembered. _STRAWBERRIES_! He reached for her hand and twisted her back to him like a Fred Astaire dance move. Amy twirled in delight.

"Oh, Sheldon! You're right. Ignore him!" Amy tried to kiss him again but he pulled her toward the bathroom door. Amy thought he was going to push her up against the door and take her right then and there. "Oh my! Hoo! Okay!"

Amy pulled off her robe and revealed her almost naked body to Sheldon. She was wearing her purple bra and panty set with the black thigh high tights and looked like the women Sheldon had seen at the strip club with James Earl Jones. This time however, he_** did**_ have a reaction. Sheldon let out a whimper. "You'll be the death of me woman." He reached behind her back.

Amy expected Sheldon to slam her up against the door and ravage her. Instead he opened the bathroom door causing Amy to almost fall back into the room. "I'll get the door. You go… clean yourself up."

"What?!"

"Take a bath or something." Sheldon reached down and picked up her robe and threw at her shocked face. Then he slammed the bathroom door shut and rushed to the main door just as the man called out, **"**

**"ROOM SERVICE, IT'S YOUR STR…"**

Sheldon caught him just in time before he spilled the beans. "Shh! I got it." Sheldon grabbed the tray and the receipt and slammed the door in the face of the room service man. Sheldon heard the man through the door, "_How rude, he could at least have said something_."

"Phew…" Sheldon thought, finally he did something right! He could give Amy her surprise chocolate covered strawberries and a glass of champagne. Girls love surprises, chocolate and bubbly liquids. Weekend saved! He was a romance God!

Behind the bathroom door however, Amy was not feeling the love. As she filled the tub with hot water and tons of bubbles, her mother's voice crept in her mind.

"_Well, dear, what did you expect? I mean look at you, all dressed up like a harlot. Can't put lipstick on a pig and expect a kosher man to like it. I told you to concentrate on studies, and not boys. _

_Shut up mother…_

She shook off the self-doubt and undressed quickly. Amy let out a huge sigh as she sank beneath the blanket of bubbles and into the soothing hot water. A relaxing bath was just what she needed; maybe Sheldon knew that. She was getting better at not jumping to the wrong conclusions about his actions. A year ago Sheldon throwing her in a bathroom and slamming a door in her face would have sent her playing her harp for days in a haze of defeatism and doubt. Now that she knew him better, she figured Sheldon had his reasons that only he could know but it didn't mean he didn't want her. Her mind wandered to a few minutes ago when she had taken off her robe and Sheldon had eyed her body like a prized pig.

_Kosher man, my ass, mother…_

Meanwhile, Sheldon was preparing his Valentine's Day surprise. He reorganized the room, put the strawberries on the center table and found his bag of petals. He swallowed his OCD distain for the mess and started scattering the petals around the room careful not to get any near the food. The bag Javier had given him was surprisingly full and soon the room looked like a snow fall of petals. He dismissed the thought of putting some on the bed. If they did go in that room Sheldon would not want the petals on her back. He couldn't believe he was actually thinking about going into the bedroom with Amy and not sleep. He figured the petals were affecting his brain and shook his head. He opened the bottle of Champagne with large pop!

Sheldon spoke to himself, "Yep, knew it was coming, still scary!" He poured Amy a glass and timidly knocked on the bathroom door.

"Come in!"

Sheldon opened the door to find Amy Farrah Fowler's lovely face poking out of a thick layer of bubbles. Her hair was up like his dream of her in "Somewhere in Time' showing off her swan neck and bare white shoulders. Sheldon drew in a breath and smiled as he soaked in the image of her in the tub.

"What do you have there, Sheldon?"

"Well, it's Valentine's Day, so I thought you would like a glass of champagne because girls like that stuff. So here you are." Sheldon brought Amy the fluted glass with sparkling gold liquid. She pulled her soapy arm out of the bath and took the flute with a huge smile. "How thoughtful, thank you."

Sheldon chest puffed out like a peacock, "See? Romance!"

"Definitely!" Amy sipped her drink and remembered the last Valentine's Day with a chuckle. "Want to have a staring contest and gaze into each other's eyes?" Amy giggled, but noticed Sheldon was not laughing. He sat on the side of the tub and looked at her with the most intense gaze she had seen from him. He had a small smile on his lips but his powerful blue eyes stole the show. If this was eye coitus Amy thought, she would popping out ocular babies in nine months. His gaze was so penetrating she had look away for a moment to catch her breath.

He rolled up his sleeves, found a wash cloth near the tub, moved to the edge behind Amy's head and pushed his hand into the water precariously close to Amy's body. He pulled out the wet washcloth and rubbed the back of her neck. He hadn't planned on giving Amy a bath but at least it was something he knew how to do. Seeing her in the tub again reminded him of taking care of her flu ravaged body. In fact, he realized, that he was wearing the same suit as that night.

As Sheldon was washing Amy's neck with the cloth, he would dip it in the water and pull it out to massage her neck and shoulders. Each time his hand would inch closer and closer to her body under the water. Amy held her breath and arched her neck forward to welcome his touch. She noticed he had a white petal or a blotch of mayonnaise, she wasn't sure, on his dry shirt sleeve.

Sheldon noticed her stare and looked down, "Oh, missed one."

"What is that?"

"You'll see." He plucked the petal off his shirt and handed to Amy. She rubbed the velvety petal in between her fingers and held it to her nose. _Ah, Gardenia_; her favorite scent. Sheldon couldn't see her face, but he hoped she was smiling. She was, except she had some of the bubbles near her nose. She let out a small sneeze and rubbed her nose.

Sheldon froze in fear, "Oh my god. You sneezed!"

"Just a little one, I'm not sick Sheldon, don't worry... Do that to my neck again…" Amy leaned back against Sheldon, but he had already moved. She almost sunk in the tub when her new pillow leapt off the side.

Sheldon paced around the bath, "Of course! What else could go wrong! Stay here! Whatever you do, don't leave this room!"

"But.."

He held his body against the bathroom door like was the only barrier between them and Hell. He yelled at her, "Promise me!"

"Okay…I will. I don't understa…"

Sheldon shook his head, yelled at himself and threw up his hands in disgust, "Of courses she's allergic to gardenia! I need Javier! "Sheldon slammed out the bathroom before Amy could say another word.

Amy yelled back to Sheldon, "I'm not allergic to flowers Sheldon." But her calls were ignored; he was already out the door.

Sheldon didn't even bother with the elevator. He rushed down the stairs skipping every other one. He slammed the door open to the garden frantically looking for Javier. Luckily he caught him just as he was getting into his truck to leave for the day.

"Javier, I need you!"

"Didn't work out with your lady, ay Papi. Listen, I like you bro but I'm not ready for a long-term relationship. I'd go for a one night stand though. HA! " Javier flashed Sheldon a toothy grin and slapped him on the back again but Sheldon was too panicky to pick up on any humor.

"I need your blower."

Javier looked horrified and held his hand out to Sheldon, "Dude! I was kidding. I'm really not gay! Did you say you need me to do what?"

"I need your leaf blower. Do you have one?" Sheldon voice was screechy and frantic.

Javier let out a huge breath of relief, "I don't like to use those man. They're bad for the environment. What do you need that for?"

"The blasted Petals! She's allergic!"

"Damn bro, what the hell isn't that girl allergic to? What, did you guys meet in a clinic or something?"

"Javier please!"

"Okay, papi, calm down. I'll get it." Sheldon followed Javier to the small shed and found the leaf blower. Sheldon didn't wait to hear how to use it he just grabbed the machine and ran back to the hotel with Javier behind him. He rushed upstairs and flew open the door spraying petals with the rush of wind. He noticed some were floating dangerously close to the bathroom door. He couldn't take a chance.

He called out to her from the other side of the door, "Amy stay in there till I tell you, okay? They are… hmmm… working on the.. carpets…"

He threw the strap over his shoulder and pulled the starter string. A loud rumble filled the room along with gas fumes from the machine. He couldn't hear Amy calling out to him behind the bathroom door asking why they were working on carpets on Valentine's Day at night.

Javier tapped him on the shoulder and pointed to the screen door. Sheldon opened the door, came back to the front of the room and blew as much as he could towards it. All the petals were flying around the room like a white wind tunnel. Not knowing how to control the machine he pointed the nozzle at the table. The chocolate covered strawberries rolled forward off the table, over the carpet and landed on the balcony.

Javier tapped Sheldon again to indicate he would take over the task and before long all the petals were gone from the room. The last thing Sheldon saw on the balcony was a happy sea gull flying off with a chocolate covered strawberry hanging from its beak.

Javier gave Sheldon a sympathetic smile and left with the noisy machine. Sheldon dropped onto the couch with his face in his hands. Everything had gone wrong. The boat ride, getting sick, the suitcase, the egg roll, the clothes, the spa, the dinner, the movie, the music, the dance, the champagne and now his chocolate strawberries were being enjoyed not by his girlfriend but the rats of the sea. There was nothing romantic left to do. His quiver was empty.

He looked to the closed bathroom door while rubbing his forehead in disgust. Life would have been a lot easier if he had never fallen in love or had just fallen in love with some stupid woman who worshiped him blindly instead of the formidable vixen waiting for him on the other side of the door. Amy Farrah Fowler could see through all his tricks and schemes. She knew him better than he did himself. He had to prove he loved her and more importantly that he would do anything to keep her. Coitus was the only option left. He knew she wanted it; it was important to her.

His obsessing thought pattern was broken by the repetitive taps from the bathroom door. Amy spoke to him from behind the door.

"_Sheldon, are they done with the carpets_?"

"Yes… everything is done… Nothing left to do, Amy…" His uncharacteristic defeatist tone was troubling to Amy.

"_Sheldon, can I come out now_?"

"Sure, why not. There's nothing here anyway…"

Amy emerged from the bath to find Sheldon slumped on the couch with his hands over his face. She looked around the room completely confused by the last 10 minutes of noisy activity. She tip toed to Sheldon and stood in front of him while her eyes filled with worry.

"Sheldon, are you okay? What happened?"

"Valentine's Day is ruined Amy. There is nothing to do except..."

Amy cut him off and gently pushed his shoulder with a closed fist, "Oh phooey. We had a wonderful dance and I had marvelous bath and champagne! All that stuff you did here, it's enough."

There it was again. Sheldon's least favorite word off her lips lately. Enough. He didn't want to be enough. He wanted to be everything and more. Sheldon Cooper never settles for second best.

"No Amy is it not enough." Sheldon let out a huge sigh and whispered, "_Let's get this over with…_"

He shot up in front of Amy, and roughly grabbed Amy around the waist. With no warning he lifted her off her feet and carried her bridal style to the bedroom.

"Oof, SHELDON! What are you doing?"

Last time Sheldon carried Amy through the hotel room, it was a breeze. There were no objects in the way this time, but Sheldon almost dropped her twice before reaching the door. Amy's squirming and squawking didn't help nor did Sheldon's nervous shaking hands.

"Let's get what over with, what are you doing?"

"We are going to have coitus Amy. Now."

"What? Like hell we are! Let me down! Ouch. Sheldon!" Amy let out a yelp when Sheldon clumsily smacked her head against the door frame in some vain effort to carry her to the bedroom bridal style. Once in the room Sheldon tripped and dead dropped Amy. Thankfully he was by the bed. The bounce off the mattress sent Amy a foot in the air and her robe flashing open. Amy was mortified because she was naked under the robe but Sheldon didn't even notice. He was too busy taking off his grey shirt with his back turned to her. His fingers were so shaky, he couldn't get the buttons undone. In frustration he just pulled his shirt and undershirt off in one fell swoop.

"Sheldon. Stop this! What's up with you?"

"Coitus Amy." Sheldon thought about Amy's last statement. That was the problem, now nothing was _**up**_ with him. He had been "practicing" coitus in the shower for 3 weeks trying to prepare himself. He never had difficulty. Now that he had to perform, his body had abandoned his will. _Just perfect,_ he thought.

Amy recovered from his rash throwing of her on the bed, closed her robe and sat calmly on the edge her hands folded delicately in her lap. With a strong and firm voice she commanded Sheldon to face her.

"Sheldon. Look at me. Now."

Sheldon timidly turned around and swallowed the last moisture left in his dry mouth. Amy narrowed her icy green eyes at him.

"Sheldon. I will not have coitus with you tonight." And just in case he hadn't heard her the first time, "No way in hell."


	13. Chapter 13

**Unconventional Romance Chapter 13**

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><p>Sheldon Cooper meticulously plans for every possible contingency. He can envision every conceivable scenario and has a strategy for each one. He has a plan when his milk is stolen by Penny. He planned his Nobel speech, his retirement speech, his second Nobel speech and the suit he will wear at the street naming ceremony in his honor. He has a plan if zombies take over the earth and he has to fight for his life. But what he didn't have a plan for was what his girlfriend of 3 years, who has practically begged him for more intimacy, just said to him. She would not have coitus with him. He must have heard her wrong. If he had hearing problems, he had a plan for that.<p>

Sheldon cocked his head in complete confusion. It was as if Amy had said it in Norwegian and OP language, "What do you mean, you won't have coitus with me?"

"Just what I said. What is it you fail to understand?"

Sheldon slumped on the bed next to Amy. With almost a childlike whine, he bemoaned, "But why? I thought you wanted coitus…"

Amy scolded him, "Not this way, I don't. What were you thinking, picking me up, and declaring we would have coitus? I think you forgot to ask someone if they _wanted_ it."

"I thought you wanted it! I was trying to do what you wanted, Amy."

"Not me. You!"

"Now you've lost me. Don't you want to have coitus with me?"

"Oh, I want to. Believe me. I want to." Amy looked over Sheldon's bare chest showing off his once hidden muscles and let out a longing whimper.

"Oh good. You better take off that robe then…" Sheldon took take off his pants with his back turned to Amy. He was just about to take off his underwear when he realized Amy hadn't moved. Amy sat there and sucked her teeth before she responded, "If you try and take off those briefs right now, Sheldon, I'll make sure the next time you put them on, it will be over a cast."

Sheldon yanked his hands away from his waistband and whined, "Amy, you just said…"

"I want to make love to you, Sheldon. Sure. The problem, dear Sheldon, is you don't. So, back off."

"You've got to walk me through this, Amy…" Sheldon looked as confused as Zack would at a Feynman lecture. His eyes roamed Amy's face for an explanation, "I don't understand, you want to have coitus with me, but you won't. Amy… I just…" Sheldon slumped on the side of the bed next to Amy. It was everything in her power not to give in to him, but she knew something was amiss.

Amy shook her head, "Sheldon, look. What is this all about? Why on earth would you want to have coitus with me now? I heard what you said, Sheldon. "_You might as well get this over with.."_ You really don't want to have sex with me. You have not wanted to do so in the past and I believed it was possible that you may never want to, so what has changed?"

Sheldon was silent and felt his throat close up. He looked over at Amy and all he saw was concern. She reached out and grasped his hand. "Sheldon, please, tell me. What's going on?"

Sheldon fell back on the bed and released a rippled sigh, "I'm not romantic enough."

Amy looked back at her languished boyfriend and was still confused, "What do you mean? For this? For us?"

"For you."

Amy wanted to laugh, but Sheldon's sad face held back her giggles, "Sheldon, you are more than romantic enough for me; this weekend proved it." She shifted to a seated position facing Sheldon. She folded her legs to the side and tried her best to cover as much of her body as she could. She was too busy ogling Sheldon almost naked form to do much was better. He was built better that she imagined, and she imagined plenty. He was lying down with his arm over his face. Amy's eyes followed his flexed bicep to his shoulder and exposed chest. She would do anything to run her hands down the sides of his slender frame, but she had to find out what was in his head.

"This weekend was an unmitigated disaster and you know it."

Amy scoffed, "I've had one of the best weekends of my life."

"How much champagne did you drink, Amy? Do you think I look like a sexy praying mantis? That is clear sign of your intoxication."

"I'm not drunk, Sheldon. Are you?"

"I don't drink, alcohol, Amy. You know that." Sheldon sat up on his forearms and faced her. Amy laughed at his delusional self-righteous response.

"Ha! Says the man I had to carry to his bedroom when he matched drinks with Penny."

Sheldon shifted on his side to face Amy. He held his weight up with his forearm. Amy tried to keep her eyes fixed on his face, but she stole glances over his almost naked lanky body. Sheldon continued, "Anyway, back on topic! This weekend was supposed to prove I could be romantic if I tried." Sheldon took a deep swallow and bowed his head to Amy. He then timidly told her, "I heard everything you said the night we went to Costco when we were going to watch the Hawking movie."

Amy darted her eyes around as she tried to access her memory banks. "You mean, that whole conversation with the girls… "

She prayed she didn't say anything about Gerard that night. She wasn't too tipsy to remember she didn't say a word about her favorite stress reliever. However she did realized she spoke quite candidly about her attraction to Sheldon. Then she remembered all she said that night and turned to Sheldon with a worried stare, "You heard all of that?"

"Yes. At first I was upset that you would speak so openly about our relationship, but after hearing their words, I understood why. I heard it all, Amy. Including the mean things that Bernadette said about you. It took everything I had not to rip her to shreds, but you took care of that." Sheldon beamed a proud smile at her but Amy was still horrified.

Amy held her robe closed, "Um… even the D&D part… ?" Sheldon nodded. Amy voiced her panic, "I'm sorry, Sheldon! They were laughing at us and I just couldn't stand it anymore. I shouldn't have said… I mean…"

Sheldon sat up straight and reached for her hand, "No Amy, you were wonderful. I mean the pure evisceration of the girls was poetry. I love that you set them straight about our relationship. It's just… I realized all those things you said, that wasn't me."

"What do you mean? Of course it was you!"

"Amy, I'm not romantic! I'm anything but. I find the idea impractical at best. It seems… such… a.. I don't know…"

"A waste of time."

"Exactly."

"Hold on, you must have missed the first part of the conversation where I said romance was the expression of love for a person."

"I heard that part too."

Amy crossed her arms and declared flatly, "Then you're an idiot."

"What?"

"Sheldon… You heard everything I said, right? I know you remember it all. So, yeah… My statement stands. How can you possibly have heard everything I said, and not think you are romantic? I went through all the little things you've done for me, and all of them showed me you loved me. THAT is romance my sweet babboo, in a nutshell. Doing things for a person just because you love them and not for some perceived social convention is romance in my book, Sheldon. I will also add, it is not a waste of time."

"You mean, all those things I did, that I didn't know I was doing, really does count?"

"That was a little hard to follow, but yes! Of course they count!"

"Girls are crazy."

"Now, you answer me this and I won't punish you for blatant eavesdropping."

Sheldon swallowed nervously and answered meekly, "Yes…"

"Why were you going to have coitus with me?" Amy bent her head down to see his blue eyes hiding from her accusatory gaze, "Did you want to have sex with me?"

"Well… I … I had to…"

Amy closed her eyes trying not to be offended, "Did you think you had something to prove?" Amy crossed her arms and glared at him. "Answer me Sheldon…"

Sheldon shift toward the back of the bed and leaned against the head board. "Yes. This whole weekend was supposed to be that I could be romantic, and if not... then…"

"But Sheldon, what does that have to do with having coitus? I mean, sex is not the ultimate sentiment of romance. You know that right?"

"Well, it seems it is. I mean, in all those romantic movies, the couple are dancing around each other the whole time. Then when they finally get together, they have coitus. It seems it is the end of the line."

Amy held her forehead exasperated over her boyfriend's lack of romantic knowledge, "Oh Sheldon. Sex can be a wonderful expression of love, but it's not the ultimate, or the only way. I don't understand why after 4 years you felt you had to have sex with me to prove you love me."

"Well, I wanted to show I could be romantic intentionally and not by happenstance. I planned this weekend so I could show I could do it. I didn't want you to realize I wasn't really romantic, then and you leave me for that banging guy."

"Whoa, what banging guy?"

"The guy Bernadette said you would find to "Bang"" Sheldon did quote marks then finished, " or Brad or Bert or any other man with a B sounding name who would give you want you really want…"

Amy looked away to wrap her head around Sheldon's warped logic. It was a strain, "You think I would leave you for a some guy.."

"Yes, with a B sounding name… to bang, like Bernadette said."

"Okay, some guy with a B sounding name… Just so I could have sex?"

"Well, it's what you want, and I haven't been willing to deliver."

Amy could only see crimson, "You mean to tell me, you think I NEED coitus SO much, that I WOULD LEAVE YOU, THE MAN I LOVE, JUST TO HAVE SEX!? IS THAT WHAT YOU ARE SAYING?!" Amy was furious, her voice getting louder by the second. She looked about 100 feet tall, growing scales and breathing fire. Sheldon suddenly understood the quote about not poking the dragon.

Sheldon cringed at her shouting. He hated when she yelled at him, but sometimes it was the only way he knew he screwed up. Sheldon winced when he responded, "Not that you would leave me just to have sex. That you would leave me because you think I don't love you enough to have sex..."

Amy let out a huge breath and tried to calm her nerves, "But I know that you not having coitus isn't because you don't love me. I know you love me. You've already proved it! Did you not understand anything I said to the girls? I know you love me, because you said it and you cannot lie…"

Sheldon smiled as she continued, "I also know you love me because your romantic gestures proved it."

"You know we don't have a romantic relationship, Amy. I had to show you we could."

"You've said that before Sheldon, that our relationship is not romantic. I don't know why you ever say that. It's kind of insulting, because it dismisses our love for each other."

"No, no, Amy. I means we don't have to show each other what we feel all the time like a bunch of hippies. We just know it."

"Well, I think you are wrong. Romance is merely showing the person you love them. You showed me that without even trying and that, my sweet baboo, is the best kind!"

"How can it be the best if I didn't plan it?"

"Seriously?" Amy dropped her eyes in disbelief, but she was well aware of Sheldon's ego and this was not different.

"I am serious, I didn't try and do those on my own, Amy. I wanted to show you on my own! So, I planned this weekend to show you I could do romance. It turned into a disaster so I had to… Use the last arrow in my quiver.. So to speak. By any means necessary."

"Are you using Malcolm X quotes as reference to having sex with me?"

"Actually I was thinking of Jean-Paul Sartre, but okay. I just don't want you to leave me for the B- boys so to speak."

"Let me get this straight, you planned this whole weekend because you are afraid of losing me?"

"Well, I guess when you put it that way… yes…"

"Lose me to Brad? Or Bert?" Amy couldn't hold in her giggles in any longer. She collapsed back on the bed and laughed till she was breathless. "Brad? That's hysterical! Bert? Oh god. Sheldon, you really are clueless, aren't you?"

Sheldon growled at her, "Well then give me some clues, smarty pants!"

Catching her breath, Amy sat up again and continued, "Okay.. Look. Where do I begin… Brad is a non- starter, Sheldon. So is Bert. So is any man that's not you."

"But Brad is so much… like Thor. You love Thor."

"The comic! Not that stupid movie which was a disgrace to the comic, I might add. However, I did love that dashing Loki. Oh boy. What a dream boat!"

"Loki? He's a villain!"

"NO! He's just misunderstood! Besides, who can resist that dark hair, pale skin, thin beckoning lips and piercing blue eyes that make you just want to submit to his every whim? Oh, and that devious smirk of his when he knows he smarter than every other person in the room. Hoo!" Amy was gripping her robe tightly. Sheldon could see her mouth part as she ran her tongue over lips. He always wondered why Thor and the Avenger movie was the only superhero movie she ever wanted to see.

"I thought you loved Thor?"

"No way. I mean sure, he's a beef cake, but who could stand him after the coitus, having to listen hours on end about his stupid Hammer. I mean talk about compensating. Really..." Amy frank language shocked Sheldon, but he loved it when she talked about superheroes, "Now Loki.. There's a man with whom you could rule Empires…" Amy licked her lips again, " with pleasure… Mmmm… I just love the bad boys!"

Sheldon watched his girlfriend become visually aroused before him and he didn't like the source, "I don't think I like you watching Thor anymore."

Amy snorted, "HA! Try and stop me. Besides, doesn't Loki's looks remind you of anyone? Any one…?"

"Um… "

"Blue eyes…"

"Umm.. No…"

"Dark hair… thin lips…?

"No.."

"Smarter than everyone in the room?

"Not reall…" Finally it clicked, "Oh! ME!" Sheldon sat up straighter and impish grin spread across his face. "He is smart, isn't he?"

"Oh yes.." Amy licked her lips again, "But quit distracting me! Brad may look like Thor, but didn't you notice how uninterested I was in him? God, he is so annoying!

"Amy, you were laughing with him! You seemed happy to be with him. You had a huge grin when you saw him."

"Oh hell no. Didn't you recognize my fake smile? I never smile that widely. There is so much wrong with Brad. First of all he was idiot in the lab. I almost lost a year's worth of research due to his darn hippy lab procedures. He released the monkeys to play with them and tried to teach them yoga. That's when they started flinging poo. We had take decontamination showers and it ruined my favorite cardigan. And to top it all off, I got pulled off my project. Bureaucratic balderdash!"

Sheldon remembered the incident long ago when Amy complained about some idiot under-grad who screwed up her lab. Sheldon suddenly realized it must have been Brad.

Amy continued, "Then he interrupts our perfect Titanic moment on the boat, which is **unforgivable**!" Amy growled with all the rage of lioness. Sheldon gulped while she continued, "Next, he never should have tried to take my bag when you **clearly** were getting it for me. Idiot. Didn't you see me glaring at him?"

"I thought that glare was at me"

"No, him! It's his fault I am sitting in a robe all weekend and you had to spend god knows how much on clothes, which was the sweetest thing ever!" Amy beamed at Sheldon so much that it caused him to blush. She finished off her rant, "I could never like Brad, and besides, I think he is a bi-sexual cad."

"A bi-sexual cad?"

"Well, he doesn't like labels, because they suppress his free spirit." Amy rolled her eyes while she explained, "He broke the heart of the other lab assistant, Jacob, by cheating on him with his own sister. He's a cad and a klutzy hippy."

"Oh god, what a combo!"

"I know. Brad's stupid antics have almost cost us our weekend. I could kill him it wasn't for you rescuing me! You were brilliant! The way you kept him busy with all those drink orders? Wonderful! Also you got rid of him when you came back from shopping. If you hadn't told him not to come back till Sunday, we would have to deal with him the whole weekend! You're my hero, Sheldon!"

Sheldon blushed, "Well. I don't know… okay…. Yeah! I'm a hero!"

Amy nudged him slightly with a wink, "Yes you are! And you saved me from falling when the boat was unsteady by holding onto me. I know you hate touching me in public, but you did it anyway. You attempted to clad me clothes when the evil villain ruined my luggage. Then you got all the wrong size! Just the best!"

"Getting you the wrong size was good?

"Sheldon, you think I am thinner than I am. That's boyfriend golden ticket right there pal..."

"Really? Do I get valuable boyfriend points?"

"Yes! You hit the jackpot this weekend, Sheldon. I don't know what you were doing with the carpet thing, but I can guess and am sure it was sweet."

Sheldon looked away, "Well, I just…"

Amy didn't stop, "To top it all, you nursed my wounds and you tried to rescue me from the evil poison with your sword of potion!"

"Sword?"

"The epi pen. You have been great this weekend. For every mishap and pitfall, you have been there trying to make it better. Everything I said about you being romantic, well this weekend surpasses it all. You are my knight in shining amour, Sheldon. The most romantic man I've ever met." Amy leaned over and placed her hands on either side of Sheldon's blushing face gently rubbing her thumb over his stubble cheek, "And you have nothing, I mean nothing, to prove to me."

Amy risked the backlash and placed a soft kiss on Sheldon's forehead. Before she could pull away, Sheldon grabbed her hands and held them. He stared at her smiling green eyes while he felt her pulse rise in her wrists. He pulled her hands around his neck and bent his head to kiss her.

Amy's lips were warm and inviting with a lingering hint of the champagne. Sheldon lightly ran his tongue over her upper lip, then sucked on it. A familiar taste flooded his senses: Chocolate. As his lips fell into the rapture of the taste, his mind floated a new question. Why would Amy taste like chocolate? He pulled back with a quizzical stare, "Uh, Amy…"

"Yes… Sheldon?" Amy was half gone with his breathtaking kiss.

"Why do you taste like chocolate?"

Amy blinked awake from her kiss induced stupor. "Um, well, you see… oh damn.. Please don't be mad."

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><p><strong>AN Bonus points for recognizing the references to my old stories. Sheldon getting crazy over movie quotes is from which story? Also, plastic sheets? Anyone? ehehehe. All they need is some Lemon Zest tea and we are complete.**

** I will post the next chapter soon for an Early Christmas/holiday present for you guys! **

**Hope you have a great Holiday!**


	14. Chapter 14

**The Unconventional Romance Paradigm 14**

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><p>"Amy, why would I be mad that you taste like chocolate?" Then he thought about it and narrowed his eyes, "Where did you get it, Amy?"<p>

Amy slumped away from Sheldon, knowing she would have to admit something that would make him furious. She let a huge sigh which rumbled her lips. "Okay...I know you told me to stay in the bathroom, I did try to catch you before you left to tell you I wasn't allergic to flowers. I came out of the room…"

Sheldon eyes bugged out, "AMY! I told you to stay in the bathroom! Why didn't you listen to me, you could have died!"

Amy was losing her patience, "No I wouldn't have died…BECAUSE I'm NOT ALLERGIC TO FLOWERS!"

"But you didn't know why I told you stay there!"

"Before you ran off on a tangent you were babbling that I was allergic to flowers. I know you told me to stay Sheldon, but I'm **not** allergic, so you were over reacting for nothing!"

Sheldon sat up in anger, "Amy! You promised!"

Amy sat up as well and crossed her arms defiantly over her chest, "Well, I'm sorry I came out and saw all the beautiful petals and the gorgeous strawberries. I'm sorry I was so overwhelmed I had to take a picture on my phone just so I would remember it forever. I'm sorry that that was the best strawberry I've ever had and the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me. And I am sorry I fell in love with you all over again for doing it! Sorry!" She looked away and snorted in the air. He knew she wasn't sorry at all, but it didn't matter.

Sheldon conceded, drawing circles on her knee while she scowled at him, "Well… You should be sorry… Still… You tasting like chocolate on Valentine's Day seems completely appropriate." He pulled her back onto his chest and smiled at her, "I still might have to give you a strike."

"Can I use some of my valuable girlfriend points to get out of trouble?" Amy played with his chest hair and looked up at him with huge doe eyes. The extra blinking helped her case.

"Okay… Oh, and I fibbed. It wasn't a carpet cleaner. It was a leaf blower."

"Well thank you for saving me from my non-existent allergy from flowers and blowing all the romantic gesture out of the room. I don't know which is more romantic, the petals or the thought of you using a leaf blower to get rid of them."

Sheldon coughed, "Let's say the leaf blower." He grinned at Amy, "And you're welcome." Sheldon looked down at Amy's shiny hair laying on his chest. He let out a deep held in sigh, "Amy I would have had coitus with you, if that was what you wanted."

Amy smiled against his chest. "Ask me again when it's something **you** want. Until then, no. I never want you have coitus with me to fulfil some perceived obligation or to prove a point. I am not going to emotionally blackmail you into coitus. It will happen when you're ready and want to, not a minute before. I won't allow it." Amy wrapped her arms around Sheldon's bare chest and felt his back beneath her hands. "However…."

"Uh oh…What is it, you Vixen?" Sheldon looked down at Amy wrapped around him like a snake. At first he was feeling constricted but after a moment the snake began to feel like a warm scarf. He placed his hands on her shoulders and lightly tapped her before settling down and basking in the warmth.

Amy smiled at her new nickname, "There is something that we could do… that would be like we did have coitus, but not. Think of it as all the benefits of coitus but without the pressure."

"Oh boy if this is some kinky thing, I have to tell you I limited my research to just normal coitus, nothing weird like that Japanese stuff I found. I thought yuri hentai was some noodle dish, boy was I wrong."

"Sheldon, I don't ever want to know what you researched before this weekend, but my idea is nothing weird." Amy snuggled into Sheldon's bare chest and rested her head on his shoulder, "This is it Sheldon. Cuddling. Post coital bliss… It's called after glow."

"After glow?"

Amy nuzzled further in his chest, "Yes, didn't you research what would happen after the sex?"

"Honestly it was all I could do to research what I had."

Amy bent her head toward his neck and breathed deep, taking in as much Sheldon's talc laden smell that she could, "I still can't imagine you doing that. This is much simpler. If we had had coitus tonight we would be swimming in dopamine and our reward centers would be on fire. Also, our brains would be flooded with oxytocin, the good feeling hormone, which leads to bonding and trust. We can simulate this response by just cuddling."

Sheldon was getting more comfortable with Amy on his chest though he was still a little uneasy with the constant contact on his bare skin. "No wonder you love cuddling so much, you sex fiend. Seems like a lot of unnecessary touching if you ask me."

Amy tilted her head to Sheldon and snapped, "What did you think sex was going to be like Sheldon? There wouldn't be any touching or kissing? I bet you would even put down plastic sheet or some nonsense."

Sheldon snorted, "Ha! I would never! But now that you mention it…"

"Forget it pal. Anyway, back to business. By cuddling, we get all the good hormones without the fuss and you are a master cuddler Sheldon! Why do you think I call you cuddles?"

"Cause you're a girl who loves to give juvenile labels to people based off activities you wish to strong arm them into doing?"

"Well your "**vixen**" says right back at ya, pal." Sheldon swallowed hard and said nothing.

Amy grinned and continued, "Now, hush. You're harshing my buzz." Amy nuzzled her nose into Sheldon's neck and drank in his aroma like it was the stolen bottle of elixir from the gods.

Sheldon moved his arms further around Amy but the angle seemed strained. "What would I do with my hands after coitus?"

"Wherever you want to put them that is most comfortable for you."

Sheldon placed one hand on Amy's rump and wrapped the other on the curve of her waist. "There."

"Sheldon! Are you…"

Sheldon snapped back defensively, "What!? If we just had coitus my hands would have been all over that part of you anyway!" He would never admit that he had been waiting years to touch her there again. It was after all simple genetics, the biological imperative of males to be attracted to large bottomed females.

Amy sat up with perked ears and wide eyes, "Oh really? All over huh?"

Sheldon blushed at his confession, "Yes. Now let's get back to all these hormones we are supposed to be swimming in Dr. Fowler." He drew Amy back on his chest and resumed his hand positions.

"Well, I read that coitus can also stimulate brain cell regrowth in the hippocampus. Maybe through the release of our mock hormones we can see if this is the case. Not so unnecessary after all, huh?"

"So sex can make you recover brain cells? Maybe with our mock afterglow, I can get some of the grey matter back that I wasted on all those romantic movies I watched for research over the past few weeks."

Amy snapped her fingers, "That's why you watched the Body Guard!"

"Yes. I even had a whole playlist of songs based off all those girly movies, too." Sheldon grumbled, "Stupid internet."

"That's the just sweetest thing ever Sheldon. You really are a romance god aren't you?"

"I guess I am!"

Amy ran her hand over his chest lightly with her finger tips, "I know you tried very hard this weekend and I appreciate it. You've done your duty, Sheldon. No more girly movies for you."

"Ever?"

"Ever."

"I think I just fell in love with you all over again." He squeezed her tighter and ran his hand lightly over her back side. He made small strokes, but it was enough Amy's noticed and smiled.

"Well I can't believe that you watched those films for me, so right back at ya. But you know the best part of this weekend…the best part is being able to hold you like this, just lying here with you. I feel happier than I have ever been." Amy looked up at him, "Are you liking this?"

"It's not terrible." Though Sheldon couldn't say he loved it, there had been times this weekend when he had been more relaxed than he had been in weeks. Especially when he kissed her and his fear and anxiety were pushed away and replaced with a new feeling, an enticing one. "Are you sure this is how one feels after coitus?"

"Well, I have never had it, but the same brain chemistry is at play."

"Didn't you have all those experiments where you had orgasms?"

"Yes, but those were so clinical. It was like an ultimate release of a building tension. Haven't you ever felt that, Sheldon? Where something builds up in you and then you finally get satisfaction?" She was hinting, and hoping that Sheldon would admit some type of sexual interest. Amy knew Sheldon well enough not to push it. Also, she was too much a lady to come out and ask him.

Sheldon thought back to their experiments on closure. He didn't want to admit he undid all her experiments, but the incredible feeling of watching those dominoes go down that she denied him did excite him. His personal experiments with self abuse over the last few weeks involved more elaborate fantasies; all of which invoived Amy. Some with her in a Star Trek Uniform, but most, she was in her prom dress. The entire conversation made Sheldon uncomfortable and Amy knew it.

She tapped his shoulder with her hand, "Don't worry about it, Sheldon." Amy sat up slightly and looked at him, "I can't imagine coitus making me love you more and I want to be crystal clear Sheldon: I don't _**need**_ coitus." Amy rested her head on Sheldon's chest and lightly ran her hands over his clavicle. "Don't you remember what I said to girls that night? I love you more than my own breath, and I will never leave you whether we have coitus or not. You won, Sheldon. There's no more to do."

"I won?"

Amy spoke in a whisper, "You've won my heart. Forever. Now just relax. There is nothing left to do or prove." Amy gently ran her hands over Sheldon's short dark chest hair and outlined his pectoral muscles with her index finger. She was elated to be this close to him and to touch his skin without his repulsion. She didn't think it could get any better.

She was hoping he would sleep like this with her. She knew it would probably be her only chance to be with him so intimately. He started to shiver slightly and Amy figured he was cold. He wasn't wearing a stitch other than his briefs so, much as she wanted to be with him almost naked she didn't want him being cold.

SHeldon was not cold. In fact, her body next his was the warmest feeling he had ever felt. His shivering was from nerves alone, but even that was clearing away with her touch.

"Sheldon maybe you want to put on your pajamas. But can I ask a favor?" Amy sat up off Sheldon's chest. He was instantly cold and missed the contact.

"What is it Amy."

She bit her lip and nervously played with her robe tie, "I know it's a lot to ask…"

"Tell me."

"Do you think I could wear you pajama top? You could still wear your pants I just need something to sleep in. This robe keeps coming undone." Amy pulled at the robe tie and trying to straighten it out. Sheldon smiled at her struggle as he begrudgingly rose off the bed and went to retrieve his folded set of pajamas from his suit case. Amy got up from the bed and waited with a slight smile forming on the side of her mouth. Sheldon thought back on the day's events as he watched her adjust her hair and straighten her robe.

He remembered washing her neck and feeling her delicate skin under the cloth. He remembered the feeling of his mind going blank when he kissed her against the door. The urge to feel her skin had not dissipated, it had grown stronger. In the past, if he thought too much about it he would tense up, but now he was anything but tense. He wasn't planning on coitus, he only had one objective for the next few minutes. He wanted her out of that robe.

He brought his pajamas over and put them on the corner of the bed. He sat in front of Amy, gently placing his hands on her hips as he pulled her closer to him. He put his head on her chest and held her close to him.

He could hear her heartbeat thrum in his ear as her rising chest acted as a pillow. Slowly he wrapped his arms around her waist and nuzzled his nose onto her chest. The gap in her robe was large enough that his cheek was in contact with her bare skin.

Amy moved her hands slowly from the nape of his neck to lightly run her finger tips down Sheldon's spine. Sheldon shifted his face slightly using his nose to open up her robe so that he could feel more of her skin on his cheek. He was almost overpowered with her scent as he felt a wave of contentment flow over him. The only thing he knew was that he wanted more.

He pulled is face back from her chest as he watched the assent of his hands. Amy watched his intense gaze while holding her breath. His stubbled face and fervent stare matured his features. His masculine scent flooded her. All she could do was watch his eyes move over her body like he had just discovered the grand unified theory. Slowly the strong hands moved up from her waist, around her shoulders to her neck and cupped her face like he was holding stardust in his hands. Amy had only a moment to catch her breath before Sheldon drew her face toward his and gently brushed his lips over her mouth. He was touching her with his lips; wanting to transfer his sense of touch to his mouth alone. He lightly sucked on her bottom lip and held her face as his kiss grew more intense. Amy wrapped her arms around his neck and moved closer to him to help support herself on her suddenly weak legs.

The gentle kiss spoke more to her than his words ever could. He was comfortable, relaxed, and free from the anxiety of touching her. The pressure had been lifted and he felt lighter than ever before. He was not required to do anything to prove he was a good boyfriend. He didn't _**have**_ to kiss her or touch her but he wanted to, more than any time before. He was almost angry that he had been denied this feeling for so long. He was even more angry that it was all his own doing.

Sheldon's hands glided to her shoulders and slid under the fabric. Amy's bottom lip quivered as she watched his intense stare boring into her. Part of her wanted to run yet part of her also wanted him to hurry up. He slowly pushed the cloth off her shoulders and down her arms to form a puddle on the floor around Amy's feet. Suddenly shy, she immediately crossed her arms in front of herself and bit her lip. Sheldon was having none of it. He pulled her arms open and put his hands on the small of her waist. Finally he let his eyes move off her face and started to memorize every bare inch of her. She was quivering at the scrutiny. He stood up and traced his hands around her curves to her face.

With a huge smile he said, "Amy you really are beautiful, and I am not just saying that to get valuable boyfriend points."

Before she could respond he gently pulled her face to his with just his finger tips and lightly kissed her. His hands moved around her body as he slowly turned toward the bed while keeping his lips glued to hers. He lowered her to the mattress, and his hands continued their exploration of Amy's body. Amy tried to mirror Sheldon's movements, but she couldn't keep up; he had his own agenda

Her own voice was echoing in her head when she foresaw how Sheldon would be in bed: "_he is patient, loves repetition and hates to lose. Do you think for one second that if he ever does decide to have sex, that man will be anything less than sex god? I have already mentioned his attention to detail, there is also his pathological need for closure, not to mention years of sexual repression bubbling to surface like a dormant volcano._"

Amy must have been psychic because all her predictions of Sheldon were coming true. He was fascinated by how her body reacted to his touch. His hands transversed the curve of her breast, to her waist and then to her hips. Every soft inch of her back was touched while he continued to kiss with a growing intensity. When his deep kiss grew stronger, he gripped her hips and pulled her flush with his body. Amy loved the feeling of his chest pushed against hers, but his hands limited the contact. Every time he slid his hand over her nipples she almost bucked off the bed. Through his research he had learned that about 29% of women could organism from nipple simulation alone. He intended to use his extreme manual dexterity he honed after years of video game play to see if Amy was one of the 29%.

Amy had no idea why Sheldon was so captivated with her chest, but stifled her query. She was still kissing him as his hands did things to her nipples she had only dreamed of. When he moved his mouth to her breast she lost all sense of reason. She felt her breath stagger with every rise and twist of pleasure till she almost cracked. Slow, patient and curious was how she would describe her lover. Intense was not strong enough a word.

Sheldon was relentless, every time Amy bucked away from him because the sensation was overwhelming he pulled her back and continued his onslaught. Finally the twisting heat forming in her would not be ignored. She dug her nails into his back and stiffened up while she let out a high pitched moan. Sheldon looked up to her face to see her reaction. He had never seen her so vulnerable, so strong, so completely beautiful. He pulled her close and held her while she quivered beneath him. He had to see that look again; at least two more times he reasoned. Then he remembered: Amy said no coitus tonight.

Sheldon Cooper never breaks the rules. However, he always finds ways around them.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:Would it be too much to beg for reviews for Christmas?! I better not I don't want to get in trouble with Santa! anyway thank you very much for reading it and I hope you liked getting two chapters. I will try to get you another chapter after Christmas. I know you want to know what's going on with Sheldon's plot for coitus**


	15. Chapter 15

**The Unconventional Romance Paradigm 15**

Sheldon Cooper was never one for useless emotions or feelings. To his mind, most emotions were useless. He had cataloged each of his feelings and the degrees to which he had experienced them over the years. There were the feelings he avoided, like anger and fear. He felt a slave to fear; never knowing how to truly control it or become released from its crippling grip.

However with the emotion of anger, he felt somewhat justified. He dealing with a patience-inducing society he had the misfortune to be born into, he had too many memories of anger.

There were also more pleasant emotions, he knew like elation, happiness, and lately around Amy, love.

There was a new feeling building inside him as he watched Amy breathe heavily next to him. He couldn't quantify it as yet, but he did know he needed to feel it again and as often as he could. The feeling came in waves, like a mix of elation, a touch of pride, a smattering of fear and a tsunami of love.

He still had his worries of what to do concerning coitus. What would it mean for them as couple and would there be expectations he couldn't foresee? Would he lose himself in the animalistic drive of his hind brain and fail to utilize superior intellect forever? And also, even his pride couldn't ignore the sinking feeling that most men experience that he might not do it right. However, one look from Amy and the drops of fear were blown away. None of those cerebral concerns mattered at the moment. The only thing he could think about was his Amy and her loving look that he knew was only for him.

Sheldon watched in awe as she recovered from the first orgasm. Her hair was in tussled in waves and splayed across the pillow case. Her glinting green eyes were glowing under the moon light peeking through the hotel curtains. She was flush, breathless and completely exposed to him, but he knew she trusted him completely. Her expression told him that anything and everything they decided would be okay. He believed her more than anyone, even himself.

Amy encircled his face with her hands and pulled him into an embrace. She kissed him through her staggered breaths. Sheldon wasn't done with his survey of her body, and she wasn't done with him. She wanted to feel every inch of his skin that she longed to touch for years. As she kissed his pale neck, she remembered watching the veins pulsate and flex whenever he was angry or got a brilliant idea. Amy wanted to take his pulse rate with her tongue alone. His neck had tempted her for years.

She felt his strong bare shoulders that she had only imagined touching through his tux shirt while they danced at prom. The rounded biceps he always hid under long t-shirts were exposed and revealed his taunt muscles and hidden strength. His slender waist, exposed ribs and sharp hips that were once forbidden under his tame demeanor, were thrusting and grinding against her body. Amy shivered just being allowed to touch his hips, let alone to hold on for dear life as Sheldon continued his exploration of her body.

Amy become bolder and reached for the last barrier between them. She lightly traced the outline of Sheldon through his white cotton underwear. The simple touch caused him to buck like a bronco. She thought it was grossly unfair that she was naked, and he wasn't. However, she also thought the idea of seeing him completely naked would overwhelm her. At the moment, she was ready to be overcome. She pulled at the waist band of his brief and blinked at him. He didn't forget the threat that if he took them off he would be in a cast, but the threat seemed to be forgotten the instant Amy grabbed him again through the fabric.

He pulled away from a deep kiss long enough to rip off his briefs and resume his prone position before Amy could take a breath. His hands were already grabbing her hips and pulling her flush with him so he could feel her naked body fused to his. She felt like a silken warm sheet wrapped around him. The overwhelming feeling ignited something in his mind and he could only focus on how well they fit together. Amy felt his hand move down her thighs and lightly ask permission before moving between them. Before his hand could find Amy's swollen flesh, she let out a preemptive whimper and she moved her hand to mirror his actions.

Their novice exploration of each other's most private of areas did nothing to hinder their dance of their tongues against each other. Sheldon's nimble hands and fingers against her nerve center were no match for Amy's timid caress of his silken clad throbbing shaft. Amy became distracted with every stroke of his hand and probing fingers. Soon, Amy was arching and bounding under his control again, just as he planned. Their heated kiss was forgotten; Amy needed all her breath. She tried to evoke the same feeling from Sheldon, but he pulled away from her, and concentrated his action on her alone. She held one large breath, while the twisting building feeling consumed her. She let a lung filled, passion fueled moan as she stiffen against Sheldon once again. Sheldon watched her eyes float back and then glisten against her glowing face. Amy melted underneath his touch.

Amy's heart was pounding at such a feverous beat, she felt it would burst out of her chest. She was still in shock as she recovered underneath her once touch averse boyfriend. Amy wasn't about to complain. When she asked him to cuddle with her long ago when she craved human contact, she had hoped the action might drive him to find second base. He didn't just find second base, he picked it up off the field and hurled it into the stands. Third base was set afire and he was hinting at home plate. She was almost embarrassed over her reaction to his touch, but what did he expect playing with her nerve centers like that. She wanted to see him react that way and see his face in reckless abandon. If she was patient, she just might get her chance. Little did she know that Sheldon had his own plans for the evening.

There was a feeling building inside Sheldon that he had never experienced and he couldn't verbalize. "Amy… I know you said… but…"

Sheldon could barely contain growing need. His cognitive functions were working at half capacity and feeling Amy curl up under him while she seductively bit her lip wasn't helping him form full sentences. It was all he could do to look at the clock. 12:01 AM. It was the next day.

"Sheldon tell me, what is it?" Amy leaned up on her arm and brushed her hair off her face. She was concerned by his uncharacteristic incoherent thought processes.

Sheldon took a deep breath as his hands moved to hold her face, "I know you said…before… you know when I carried you, I mean picked you up…" Sheldon took a deep swallow to find his voice, but it was still a murmur, "You said, 'I will not have coitus with you _**tonight**_. No way in hell'"

"I did say that Sheldon, but…" Amy smiled, but Sheldon cut her off and continued to ramble.

"Well, I just wanted to point out… You know the time. Because, um…. It's just that… what I am trying to say is… Um … but it's … It is…after 12 and um I …" Sheldon shook his head dumbstruck by his own fumbling. He entered this conversation at a complete disadvantage. He never dreamed that he would have to use trickery or time zone changes to convince his girlfriend to have coitus with him. Nor did he ever think he would be in a position that he would asking in the first place. He also, for some unknown reason to him, couldn't think clearly at that the moment. Amy's smiling face calmed his nerves but did nothing for his verbal prowess.

"Sheldon… That rule is moot. I have no rules against you and I making love tonight. If that is what you want and for no other reason than simply you want it. Not to prove a point or because you think I need it. You have to want it. Do you want that, Sheldon? Because if you want to make love, then I'm yours Sheldon." Amy smiled, traced her fingers down the side of his face and lightly kissed his cheek. Sheldon pulled her hand to his mouth, and kissed the tender skin of her inner wrist.

It was a whisper, a mere breath on wind, but Amy heard every syllable. "I do want to, Amy. I want you."

Amy gave Sheldon a soft smile and said with a kind resolve, "Then, I'm yours."

In the few minutes it took for Sheldon to find his protection and put it on, he tried to reason with himself how this could be a bad idea. He remembered all the things he had ever said to the other guys about coitus and the quips he gave them over the years. The memories were fading with every passing second. By the time he held Amy in his arms again, he couldn't remember why he ever was against it.

Amy's timid yet patient nature was comforting to him. She was as nervous as he and yet, willing to accept him. Once he moved his body between her, he realized she was more than ready. The initial sensation of merging with Amy inundated every nerve of his body with a shuddering euphoria. He couldn't fathom getting better, but then he moved again. Amy stiffened up at first contact, but soon eased against his touch. He wanted to ask her if she was okay, but her actions answered him. She was the one who pulled him quickly into her, burying him fully. The sensation was like a deluge of pulsing pleasure. He stayed stationary for moment, soaking in the feeling. He never imagined he could feel better than that moment, but then he pulled back and did it again.

He tried to remember all his research concerning coitus, but it was all for naught. His mind couldn't focus on remembering anything. He wanted to exist only the instant he was experiencing and nothing more. He angled his thrust to push up against her nerve center again. Amy responded immediately with a tightening her grip around his hips and with a hard breath into his shoulders. He was slow, and relished every unique feeling. He twisted and turned his body to mold to hers. He changed rhythm and intensity to experience every sensation. Amy loved it all. She arched off the bed and held onto his neck as he pushed himself deeper with in her. Sheldon changed the position to hold her upright as he jutted his hips against her. His hands were roving over her bottom as he was promised they would be. Amy fell back against his arms, feeling like molten metal under his magnetic control.

Sheldon laid Amy back down, and wrapped his arms around her shoulders to hold on to her. Amy buried her head in his collar bone and almost bit down with every forceful thrust. The twisting pulsating tension built up with every jutting motion. Every time he thought of coitus before, he felt he was wrapped up in chains, holding him back. As he finally felt the sensation of his own orgasm overtake him, a shuddering feeling overran Sheldon as if all his tension was suddenly emancipated. He manumit his own fears and doubts and collapsed on Amy with a liberated sigh.

Sheldon pushed his weight on his forearms, and wrapped his hands around Amy face. He had a face she had never seen before: A cross between his Koala face, his 'Amy's know me so well' face and something new. "I want to say something to you, Amy, but not because I want to prove something, or because social convention dictates you say it.. But.."

Amy smiled and kissed him after saying, "I love you too, Sheldon."

After a silent moment between them, Sheldon rushed off the bed and ran to the bathroom door, slamming it with a loud bang. He didn't want to explain the details to Amy, but he had to clean himself up at that moment or he would have caused a huge mess. Clean and clad in his robe, he emerged from the bathroom to find a clothed Amy seated on the side of the bed with her hands folded in her lap and biting her lip. She was quiet and pensive as old fears were creeping into her mind.

"Amy, I'm sorry I rushed off like that. I just… Well… Are you alright?" Sheldon sat next to her brushed her hair toward the back of her neck so he could see her face.

"Yes, are you? I mean, are you okay with everything? I shouldn't have asked that. What I mean is… I just… What I am trying to say is…" Amy shook her head dumbstruck by her own fumbling. Amy entered this conversation at a complete disadvantage. She never dreamed thought she would have to have a post coitus conversation with Sheldon. Sheldon's smiling face calmed her nerves.

"Amy. I am great with everything."

"Really, Sheldon? No uncontrollable need to run away screaming in the middle of the night?"

"Are you kidding? You're not getting rid of me, little lady, sorry." Sheldon wrapped his arms around Amy and tugged at her robe. He quickly took off his robe and climbed into bed, "You make the concept of running away so repellant, I couldn't even think of it now. The only place i would run to would be to you."

"Really?" Amy took off her robe and curled up against Sheldon's warm body.

"Yes, really..." Sheldon yawned, "Now tell me again about all these hormones of yours. I think real coitus is dramatic better for accessing them then mock coitus, Amy."

"I know. Frankly, I was just trying to make you feel better about it and get more cuddling out of you, if you want to know the truth."

"You little minx! I fell for your sorcery!" Sheldon nuzzled into her, "Anyway, this is better."

"So much better, Sheldon."

Sheldon couldn't argue, "Correct as usual, Dr. Fowler. Reward centers, activated. I can feel my brain cells re-growing as we speak." Sheldon curled up onto her chest and twisted his arms around her waist and gripped her posterior to secure her position next to his body. Amy scent had changed, and Sheldon basked in the new aroma. He had his Amy scented pillow and he was content. The pajamas on the corner of the bed were forgotten. Amy combed his hair back and lightly kissed him on the forehead. "Good night, cuddles."

"Umm.. night… vixen…" It took less than 2 minutes for Amy to feel his rhythmic hot breath on her chest. She fell asleep a short time later, after the excitement of the day had finished tumbling through her mind. Amy knew no other religion, but she stood by her prophecy: Sheldon was a sex god.

The next morning, Amy woke to lovely sight of Sheldon wearing his plaid robe, standing over the bed smiling. "Good morning, Sheldon. What do you have there?" Amy sat up against the head board and pulled the sheet over her chest. She smiled as Sheldon handed her a steaming cup of citrus flavored liquid.

"Tea. Well, it's the best I can do. I shudder to think what hotel coffee tastes like and I deplore the call to room service."

"Don't you dare! I'll starve before I care to hear that knock again."

"Agreed."

Sheldon sat on the edge of the bed and watched Amy blow the steam off her tea. She smiled into the cup as she watched his eyes roam over her bare shoulders. "I guess we go home today. I hope my clothes will be done soon."

"Yeah. I guess so." Sheldon let out a sigh and let his mind wander to the afternoon when he would be back home. He would have his spot and his own bed with his favorite sheets. At the moment, he was looking at the sheet covering Amy, and not too keen on leaving just yet.

Amy could tell his mood was somewhat melancholy and she thought it stemmed from his plans gone awry, "Would you like to look around before we catch the ferry? You could show me the shop you found, or the port? I would like that, if you're up for it."

"Yes, we could do that, if you want. We have to check out at 11 and the ferry leaves at 11:30. We could leave early, and look around. It's already 8:30. I must have slept in." Sheldon slumped his shoulders over and let out a sigh.

Amy smirked, "Well, you had an exhausting day yesterday, with leaf blowers and avocado adventures and …" Amy let her voice drop off as she took another sip of her tea. Sheldon knew exactly what she hinting.

"Yes, Amy, an exhausting day. The night was much better."

Amy looked down at her cup, "I bet you will be thrilled to back to your routine, Sheldon. This weekend has been quiet a disruption."

"Yes, but I have found some things I would like to include in my routine."

Amy almost jumped up, "Like cuddling during movies!?" She almost spilled her tea bouncing off the bed.

"Look out Amy, you could get burned." Sheldon took her tea cup and placed it on the bed side table. "Cuddling? That's your take away from this weekend, Amy?"

"Well, baby steps I figured." Amy gnawed at her inner lip and held back a smirk, "

I would like other things… Maybe lots of things."

Sheldon's hooded eyes bore into her as he spoke, "We have to have another relationship meeting, I think."

"I look forward to it, Dr. Cooper. Now, I look forward to a shower."

"HEY! I was going to take a shower!" Sheldon was shaken from his lust filled stupor.

"Not if I get there first!" Amy threw off the sheet over Sheldon's head and rushed to the shower with a squeal. Sheldon almost caught her before she got the shower door. She barricade herself in the small glass room as she watch Sheldon's eyes narrow at her. He formed a devilish side smirk and reached down for his robe tie. Amy's eyes bobbed out of her head when he dropped his robe and braced his hands against the glass walls while he eyed her up and down like a prime steak. She couldn't open the door fast enough.

Sheldon stepped into the shower and looked at Amy with an impatient glare.

"Oh, the water… Yes… Um…" Amy fumbled with the faucet before Sheldon came up behind her and turned the handle. He stayed behind her as the hot water rushed over their fused bodies in streams. Sheldon reached his long arm and grabbed the shampoo. Amy thought he missed his calling as hair dresser. His strong fingers massaged her scalp like a pro. As the lather created a lubricant between them, Sheldon moved his hands down her sides, around her ribs to her chest as Amy reached around and slid her hand around his erection. Sheldon moved his hand around her body and soon they were grinding against each other as they repeated their action from the previous night. The water washed almost all the soap away, but Sheldon wasn't done.

He flipped Amy around and pushed her against the side of the shower wall. His hand reached down and held onto her bent knee as his body pushed her legs apart. As he dove his tongue into her mouth, he drove himself into her. Amy held onto his neck with one hand and his shoulders with the other. The loud moans from Amy, and the banging of glass almost masked the sound of knocking on the hotel door. Sheldon thought he was hearing a phantom call of the unwelcome visitor, but he heard it again. Sheldon ignored the call, "_Room Service_," and dove into a passionate kiss which numbed Amy's already hampered cognitive abilities.

Unfortunately, Sheldon did not have the forethought to close the bathroom door. As Sheldon continued ravage his willing vixen, the room service man came in the room, dropped off the dry cleaning bags on the couch and left, but not before Sheldon saw his smirk in the reflection of the bathroom mirror. Sheldon couldn't be bothered with embarrassment. He had one of the most important physics problems of his life facing him: How to keep his rhythm and not fall victim to the distinct lack of adhesive ducks.

Thankfully, Sheldon is physics genius and according to Amy, a sex god, so no injures occurred. As his own name was echoed through the steam filled room, Sheldon heard the sound mixing with his own guttural moans. The couple slumped against each other as the last pulses surged through them. Sheldon held onto Amy as they kissed and enjoyed the rest of their shower. When Amy started to shiver, Sheldon finally let her go and retrieved a towel.

"They make these things as small as wash clothes. It barely covers me. And it is as thin as that blasted robe."

Sheldon coquettish grin peeked through the towel over his head, "I know. I guess they didn't account for your appealing womanly hips when they designed them."

"Well, these hips are good for something, huh?"

"Oh, much more than…" Sheldon's voice trailed off and he grew pale as he remembered a man's biological imperative to be attracted to women with large hips for child bearing. He also remembered something critical that he should have thought about during the shower. Why did he only pack one condom?


	16. Chapter 16

**The Unconventional Romance Paradigm 16**

Sheldon's mind flashed through possible scenarios of their shower dalliance like a pulsar. He could have kicked himself for being so careless but he wasn't surprised in the least. Thoughts raced through his mind. His hind brain was in control in that small steamy room, no doubt about it._ Could she be pregnant? Oh lord, we just had sex twice and already everything would stop. God lord, I'm already looking forward to sex again. Focus, Cooper! Being a father? I always knew our genetic material would make superior progeny, but so soon? Why am I thinking about progeny, I don't want to have children? Or do I? Would it be so bad? It would bad for Amy, but her hips could carry a soccer team and she wouldn't notice. It would be with her, his Amy. A little homo Novus conceived on Catalina Island. Catalina Cooper, everyone will call her. Her? Could it be girl? _His mind calculated his checking account balance, fears for Amy's health, what would he tell his mother and how to get Leonard out of his room to make a nursery.

He was exploding with fears, doubts, trepidation but with a hint of excitement. The torrent of emotions flashed through his mind in an instant before Amy was able to turn around. She could see his fear filled face looked toward the shower then back at her. She saw his drawn expression and saved him from further worry.

"3 years." Amy said categorically with soft side smile.

"3 years?" Sheldon gulped.

"That's how long I've been on birth control. Oh, and I'm not ovulating anyway. Don't worry."

Amy tapped Sheldon's slack jawed face and looked at the couch, "Oh look! My clothes! When did they come?" Amy rushed past Sheldon as he held onto the counter for strength and released a hefty exhale. He was had a mix of 73% relief and 27% regret, but he figured those numbers were preliminary estimates. Of course Amy would have stopped him if there was any question. He should have had no doubts.

Amy was thrilled to have her own clothes and wanted to get dressed right away. Sheldon seemed less than thrilled with the delivery but a new feeling was brewing in him. He was starving.

"Sheldon, why don't we get all packed, dressed and then get some breakfast? I'm starving!"

"Amy, because I know it is impossible, I won't state it outright, but you have all the trappings of being a mind reader."

Amy did a slight bow in her skimpy towel, "Why thank you Dr. Cooper. Now, which cardigan to wear? Oh my green one! Oh my jean skirt! And this blouse…" Amy was thrilled. She still had one more of Sheldon's bra and panty set left. This one was dove grey with blue trim. As she put on her clothes she didn't notice her drooling audience. Sheldon watched awestruck as she reached around her back like a contortionist and closed the clasp of her bra. Working the panties over her womanly hips, and pulling on her thigh high tights, she didn't hear him whimper. It was like she was doing a reverse striptease. Tease was the apropos word. He was so distracted he was still wearing only his robe.

Sheldon couldn't take it anymore. He sat on the side of the bed and pulled Amy onto his lap with a new hungry stare, but it wasn't for food. Amy straddled Sheldon and pushed him back on the bed as she ground her hips against him. "Now Sheldon, you are distracting me from my task."

"I'm distracting you? Do you hear yourself, woman?" Amy narrowed her gaze on his darken blue eyes and tilted her hips against Sheldon in a circular pattern, "Oh, that's what a lap dance is… Oh lordy…"

Amy arched her back and braced herself on his knees with her hands. She wanted to continue this torturous dance but she knew it wasn't the time. Amy did one more gyration against a simpering Sheldon and started to get off his lap but Sheldon refused to release her hips.

"Sheldon, I don't want to stop, but we should get going." She bent down and placed a sweet kiss on the tip of his nose. Sheldon brushed it off like a child.

"But Amy…"

"Aren't you hungry?"

"Yes… but not for…"

"And we have to get the ferry?"

"Yes… but…"

Sheldon looked like a little kid that was just told they were going to leave Disneyland three hours early. Crestfallen he still couldn't let go of her hips. Amy knew something was amiss.

She pulled him up and wrapped her arms around his neck, "What is it Sheldon?"

Sheldon let out a regret filled sigh, "Well… Once this weekend is over, then I don't know how to act around you."

"Sheldon you can act around me the same as you always do. Sex shouldn't change us."

"No, I mean… This was our romantic weekend. Like a long special date. When we get back home our next date night isn't for 2 weeks. I can't kiss you without it being a date night and there is nothing in the agreement about all this… touching."

Amy smiled, "Well in two weeks, we will renegotiate our status and restrictions. But in the meantime, I will remind of one crucial detail you might not be aware of."

Sheldon was still pouting but managed to blurt out a reply, "What?"

"You have earned enough valuable boyfriend points you can do whatever you want for the next month without rejoinder."

Sheldon perked up slightly and queried, "Are valuable boyfriend points only for kissing?"

Amy moved to kiss his neck and nibble on his ear lobe, "Whatever you want. No restrictions."

"Oh goody! Let's go eat!" Sheldon jumped off the bed and in his excitement, almost dropped Amy to the floor. He rushed to get packed, dressed and leave the avocado filled hell hole of a hotel post haste. Just as they were about to leave the room, Sheldon pulled Amy into his arms and gave her one more passion filled kiss before public scrutiny would take away his nerve. Amy dropped her purse and wrapped her arms around his neck. Just as the kiss heated up to boiling levels, the couple heard a new cry from the other side of the door, "HOUSE KEEPING!"

"Oh lordy, Amy. Let's get out of this place!"

"Agreed!"

After the couple checked out of the hotel and dropped their luggage off at the ferry, they found a local restaurant and had a gut busting breakfast. Amy was so hungry she almost didn't want to share her food with her thieving boyfriend, but she acquiesced when she saw his pleading blue eyes locked on her pancakes.

Following breakfast, they had enough time to tour the port and some shops before they had to catch the ferry. The clothing store was open, and Amy was able to exchange some of the clothes for larger sizes. She smiled when she saw Sheldon eyes a new bra and panty set, but he quickly moved toward the exit. Amy put the set on the counter to purchase and quickly joined Sheldon by the door.

"I really do love my clothes, Sheldon. All of them."

Sheldon gulped, looked down at her bag and looked away, "Good."

On the way to the ferry, Sheldon pointed out some of the things he showed her on the virtual tour. The storm had blown off from the island, and the sky was brilliant pale blue with only a smattering of cirrus clouds. The hungry sea gulls waddled behind the couple as they strolled on the wooden planks of the port. Sheldon glimpsed back to check if any of birds had chocolate around the thieving little beaks.

"You know, Sheldon… Your tour was just as good as the original. This is amazing. Thanks so much for everything. This really was perfect romantic weekend."

"Of course it was, I planned it!"

"Hey pal, a train trip wasn't a bad idea either, you know!"

"Well, you set the bar pretty high, Amy. Also, it was hard to top matching panic attacks."

Amy smiled, "True. Well…" Amy grew a devilish grin across her face. "I can't wait to see what you come up with next year!"

Sheldon turned white as talc, "Oh lordy!"

"I'm kidding! Let's go, Dr. Romance, before you start to serenade me." Amy grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the ferry.

"I didn't think of that!"

On the way to the ferry, Sheldon looked out for Thor's evil twin. Luckily Brad wasn't working the mid-morning shift. In fact, they heard from the other crew he had changed to the late shift so he could talk to his former "lab partner from UCLA" at 6:00 PM.

Sheldon was incensed, "Lab partner! She is the head of the department! Not a flackie of some undergrad surfer fish monger!"

"Now, now Sheldon. Calm down." Amy felt almost guilty about the farce, till she heard from Brad's current colleagues how he had saved the lab at UCLA from the antics of a monkey obsessed neurobiologist.

Amy clenched her jaw and almost bent the railing of the ferry. "Monkey obsessed? That no good, lying, egomaniac! Oh he is going to pay dearly. He wants to take me on? Then it's on! He is playing with forces beyond his ken. I will bury him!"

Sheldon was almost too afraid of his girlfriend's wrath to interfere with her rant. But he still had one more thing to do on his romantic list and it wasn't going to get ruined this time with too many funny tasting orange sodas. Sheldon came up behind Amy, held onto her waist. The instant she felt his contact, she quieted her rage. Sheldon bent down and with a warm breath, whispered in her ear, "Do you have a rather large and expensive piece of jewelry you would like to throw into the water Amy?"

Amy melted back against Sheldon's chest, "There is no way I am throwing my tiara in the water pal. However if the boat goes down, unlike Rose in Titanic, I promise I will pull you onto the wooden board so you don't drown."

"How magnanimous of you, Dr. Fowler." Sheldon looked around and seeing no one about, he planted a small kiss on Amy's cheek. She turned her head and nuzzled into his talc scented neck. Amy got her Titanic moment after all.

After the ferry landed Sheldon almost kissed the ground. He was thankful to give up his sea legs. The couple headed to Amy's car and started off through the Long Beach streets to the freeway.

"Amy, where are you going? The 710 freeway off-ramp was right there." Sheldon gave up his fight for the 110 freeway. He knew she was right, but was loath to admit it.

"We aren't going to Pasadena Sheldon. We are going to El Segundo."

"Amy! Why are we going to the airport? We aren't going on another trip are we? I didn't pack my airplane pants!"

"No Sheldon. I have something else in mind." Amy drove Sheldon straight to the hotel hosting the Doctor Who convention. It was 2:00 PM and the last day. A lot of the merchandise was gone, but the closing ceremony was at 6:00 so Sheldon would still have four uninterrupted hours of Whovian fun.

"Really Amy? You are going to take me to the convention after all?"

"Well, it's what you would love, isn't it?" Amy glimpsed over to see Sheldon's giddy face.

"More than anything!"

"Then, that's what we are going to do!"

"That's the most romantic thing ever, Amy!"

Amy smiled and continued down the road. Sheldon wasn't the only romance god in the car.

The hotel for the convention was packed with all kinds of cosplay clad Whovians. Sheldon was thrilled the instant he saw the large blue box in the lobby. Sheldon had to go beyond the ticket counter to get to the convention floor, without Amy.

"Oh Amy. Are you sure? I mean, what will you do? You can't come in with me there's only one ticket." Sheldon was itching to get through the door and get to one of the last panels. Amy hadn't seen him so excited since he talked her into a book signing by Nathan Fillion.

"I will be on the third floor. They have a lounge there and I have new book. I will be fine. Now go! You'll miss your panel… Go..!" Amy shooed him off with a smile. He was so excited he came back and kissed her on the cheek before rushing through the door. "Tijuana sex show indeed Dr. Cooper…" Amy found her way to the lounge and settled in with an iced tea and a freshly edited copy of Canterbury Tales.

A little while later Amy was joined by an older man. She tried to ignore him but his bugged eyes and curly unkempt white hair was quite the distraction. His clothes seemed out of place but Amy figured he was just eccentric with his long multi colored scarf. However the most distracting bit was his constant eyeing of her book with obvious keen interest.

With a comforting English accent, he excused himself and asked Amy, "Pardon the intrusion but is that the latest edition by Fisher. I nearly picked that volume up before my trip. Tell me, how did you find the introduction. That is what I am really interested in, you see."

Amy smiled. That was her favorite as well. "I found it intriguing, especially the explanation of how the editor translated from the original." Amy continued to converse with gentleman about a variety of topics including her work in Neurobiology and her love of medieval literature. It was almost time for Sheldon's 30 minute break before the closing ceremony, and though they had conversed for such a long period of time, she realized she had found out little about this man. Only his name.

"Please forgive me, I so rarely get to converse with someone so well versed in medieval literature."

"What is it you do, sir?"

"Well, I was in entertainment but now I am retired. You say you are in Neurobiology? Fascinating. Why are you here? Is there another convention in the hotel?"

"I am waiting for my boyfriend. He is attending the Doctor Who convention."

The man's eyes lit up with hidden knowledge, "Ah I see. Are you the smart one in the relationship then, Dr. Fowler?"

"Actually he is a Dr. as well. He is a theoretical physicist at Cal-Tech. One of the top minds in the field."

"Oh I would love to speak with him. I am fascinated by the latest study in Dark Matter."

"Well, sir, he'll talk your ear off then, let me warn you."

"I am used to that, my dear. It's a wonder I have ears at all. So, he is physicist and he watches Doctor Who?"

"Yes, I don't understand it, but he says that by watching science fiction, he can see some of his visions come to pass. I think it is more than just fantasy or an escape for him. He really connects with the characters of this show in particular. He has been watching since he was a kid."

"I have as well. Doctor Who is almost synonymous with being British you see. Truth is I have always loved the show."

"Are you here for the convention then as well?"

The quirky older man formed a coy smile, "You could say that."

Just as Amy was going to ask more, she saw Sheldon walking toward her. "Oh you will get your chance to meet him. "Amy and her new friend stood up to greet Sheldon. "Sheldon I'm so glad you here, let me introduce you to my new friend, Tom…"

Sheldon held his chest and almost fell over the seat, "Tom Baker. You're Tom Baker! You're the fourth Doctor!"

Mr. Baker seemed to take Sheldon's almost fainting in his stride as if he had the experienced it hundreds of times before, "Yes sir, I am. And you, I hear, are a theoretical Physicist. Tell me sir there is one thing that has fascinated me of late, can we know the baryonic content of Dark matter and if so, how would that help bully up the theory, so to speak." Mr. Baker looked over to Amy, tapped the side of his nose and winked at her.

Sheldon took a three quick blinks and a deep swallow. It was as if the Doctor himself was asking him a question. He took a deep breath and answered, "Well you see it is almost impossible for a significant portion of the dark matter to be baryonic. Perhaps a small percentage could be baryonic. The evidence for this is based on BBN calculations and the nuclear reactions rates…" Sheldon proceeded to explain the basics of Dark Matter, Dark Energy and other concepts that were over the head of his audience but Mr. Baker had the good manners not to point out that he was not really Time Lord from Galifrey and couldn't possibly understand half of what Sheldon was saying. Instead he just nodded his head amused that Sheldon assumed he would know everything.

"I must say Dr. Cooper you have an impressive knowledge of the inner workings of the universe and the good sense to find such a formidable woman to be your companion. You'd make a good doctor yourself sir." He reached in his pocket and pulled out a bag of sweets, "Jelly baby?"

"Oh, yes please!" Sheldon took a red one and popped in it his mouth, "Well, thank you Doctor, I mean Mr. Baker… I appreciate that." Sheldon smiled at Amy and nudged her with his shoulder, "She is great isn't she."

"Yes she is." Tom Baker kissed Amy's hand like a dashing leading man. "Well I must pop off now. Say, would you two like to come to see the closing ceremony as my guests?"

Sheldon looked as if he won the lottery but Amy was not excited about sitting through the ceremony. She whispered to Sheldon, "No ticket, remember?"

Sheldon slumped his shoulders, down. "Oh right… She doesn't have a ticket I don't think they will let her in."

Tom Baker was having none of it, "I'm the fourth bloody doctor, they damn well better let you in. Now let's go!"

Three and half hours later, Sheldon finally arrived home at Los Robles. Leonard was seated at his computer working when Sheldon came in the door with a huge insuppressible grin.

"Hey buddy, you're home! How was your weekend?"

"It was wonderful!"

"Awesome, what happened?"

"Well I made a new friend who likes botany as much as I do. I had coitus with Amy. Oh and you won't believe it! I met Tom Baker the fourth doctor at a Doctor Who convention." Sheldon continued to his room with his suitcase.

Leonard almost fell out of his chair, "Wait, hold up! I don't believe it!" Leonard was talking about Sex with Amy, not Tom Baker, but Sheldon was clueless none the less. "I'm going to need way more details Sheldon!"

"Well. My new friend's name is Javier. Having coitus in the shower without adhesive ducks is not as hard as it sounds, oh and Tom Baker has an incredible grasp of Dark matter theory, is a pretty good dancer, but his knowledge of Boson condensates is severely lacking." Sheldon continued to the back of the apartment rolling his suitcase behind him.

Leonard "Wait, hold on! I can't believe I am asking this again, but are all those things equal to you."

Sheldon stopped in his tracks, and turned around slightly to Leonard with a devious grin, "Not at all Leonard. Not at all."

"No point in asking which one was your favorite is it."

"You can ask…" Sheldon continued to the back of the apartment.

Leonard sat back down, and whispered, "That dawg."

A short while later Sheldon emerged from his room with his suitcase still rolling behind him.

"Hey I thought you were going to unpack, buddy."

"I did. Now I have repacked. I am going over to Amy's tonight. We don't have to work tomorrow since it is President's Day, so you are not required to drive me." Sheldon headed straight to the door and opened it to find Amy just leaving Penny's apartment. Leonard could hear Penny call back to Amy, "_Wait, what happened after the leaf blower!?"_

Leonard was confused. He went to the door to watch Sheldon start down the stairs with Amy. He called to Sheldon, "Whoa, wait, you REALLY are going to over to Amy's? Seriously?"

"Of course Leonard, I have valuable boyfriend points I want to redeem. Good night!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: There you go folks! I hope you liked the ending. I would really love to know what you think of the story. If you haven't reviewed, maybe drop a couple lines here at the end and tell me what you think. *Winks at you with big pleading eyes* I would really love it.**

**I tried to stay in character here, but you know how it is with Fan Fic, as soon as the clothes come off, canon goes out the window. I hope, Kellie, you liked to see your vision come to pass. **

**Again a big thank you to ShAmy4evr for the help with editing this and most of the other chapters. She has been great, and I really appreciate not only her help with** **grammar, but the sounding board I needed during this story. **

**Also, it was Lady's Maca's idea of having a Catalina Cooper. I just died when I read that. I had to put it in**.

**Thanks again folks!**


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